Monday, January 8, 2018

The Unsaid...

courtesy :
I'm not of the ilk you will adore,
Not could I ajar your heart's door!

You stop my clock and freeze my ink,
Not it is dawn or dusk, you my twilight I think.

I thought you a crawl of a baby on my chest,
But you were a spinsters' finger breaking my crust.

To leave or love may be your options, but
For the time I spend with you I have no caption.

No way you could learn the meaning of my silence,
Know it, not speaking my heart is violence.

Never I want to cage you like a bird,
Fly like a butterfly, come and rest on me when you're tired.

What I wish is, may a day come before I stop living,
You will be matured enough to decipher my hearts' beatings.

My silence in loud and it talks love,
Some day the sound will reach your ears but days will be few.

Not all words could be spoken,
But everyone's world can be shaken.

May the deity of love stay blessed,
For heart that could not be understand be kissed.

Sunday, December 24, 2017


crtsy : google images
I closed my eyes, not to sleep but to avoid all the lights of the reality, not to drown in slumber but to kill the solitude that kills. And then she woke me up. I opened my eyes on her palms.  She asked me space in my bed near my head for her to sit.  I moved she sat.  Her hand caressed my hair, I looked into her eyes.  I moved to her thigh to feel the warmth of her body and closed my eyes.  She lifted my head and placed it on her lap.  I turned and buried my head in her lap.  Where were you these many days, I asked.  She didn’t reply. Get up, she said.  I sat without parting from her for I do not want to miss the warmth of her.  She touched my hand and I fell on her shoulder, she leaned on my head.  She has put her hand around my shoulders; my eye lashes stopped all the evaporating pangs from heart and my eyes poured it out as tears.  She kissed my head and I wrapped my hands around her waist to cry on her bosom.  I could feel her flesh, I could feel my lust, I could feel her love, more than that I could feel and hear a heart beating for me.  The room was silent; my mind was silent, only my ears and eyes were working.  More the closer I was to her bosom louder the sound of her beats I could hear and more the tears I bear.  I tightened my wrap to get into her and disappear in to the sound of her heart beat she did the same to make me feel the love of her.  She wrapped her hands around my neck and lied like a mother taking her baby back inside her womb.  Could not the light stop coming into this earth, could not the time stop and never start, and the angel of death send me an invite for the moment is enough for the life.  She succumbed to me and I surrendered to her. She didn’t allow me to move and I do not want to move an inch. I was all over her to feel the warmth of her body and soul.  You know, she whispered, we were one soul some centuries back, you have been cut off from me and you left me as half.  I was listening.  She continued, now the time has come for get together as one soul and bring another soul to this world.  She kissed me on my head.   We were a planet in this universe and an asteroid stuck to separate us, now let us find a dead star that sucks us into it to get lost and get together. I didn’t move, I didn’t sleep, she was in my arms all night and I was in her.  The dawn broke, lights peeped and I opened my eyes to see her disappear.  I turned my back to the bed to look at the roof and asked where you are, my dream?

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Let the song not end

I don't want that song to end.  In the dark night, in the moon lit terrace, in the chillness of the winter, between the stars, it is just us and nobody else; let the song not end. And there was a candle burning between us, for me to see the face of the moon of my world in yellow light.  I moved my fingers to touch your fingers; you were looking down in shy brighter than the candle light. You moved your hairs that were hiding your cheeks behind your soft ear lobes to make it to sleep.  But it won’t obey just like you. The warmth of your palms comforting my hands was putting the chillness out; let the song not end. I moved my chair next to you, you moved closer. You have put your fingers between mine, I asked you to close your eyes to feel the song.  You leaned over my shoulder with your eyes closed and the song continued. I whispered my breath on your head and you warmed me with your breath over my shoulder.  The song continued and the clutch of fingers tightened with our eyes closed.  And… I kissed your hand… you came closer blocking the air to separate us.  The lyrics moved between us, the music kindled the romance with the essence of the night and the fragrance of the candle light. The song stopped; I played it again for I want not the mood to end, the night to end and… you to leave me. I moved between your ear, hair and your neck. You got up to move, I held your hand to stop you move and… and I pulled you to me to sit on my lap.  We sat with our nose over nose, forehead over forehead, your arms around me and my hands wrapping your hip.  The moon hid behind the cloud in shy. The chillness disappeared, the sky was warmed looking at us and was sweating – drizzling.  The song continued, a drizzle dropped between the nose to make it slip and our lips met. 

Let the song not end, let the dawn not come, let it rain all night, you warm me up all through out my life…

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Sleep My Sweetheart!!!

Sleep my sweetheart!

I know, the sleep has not touched you tonight,
You stay awake and still you wish everyone a good night.
You alone don't own all the pains of this world.
You will understand everything revolves around a reason when you grow old. 

Life takes its toll it is not an easy stroll.
Everything has its own time the divine is not a fool.
Sleep my sweet heart, sleep…

There is an angel for sleep,
Call your guardian angel when you weep. 
The hands of the angel will caress your forehead to keep you calm, and
Pamper you in her palm.

It’s time for you to sleep!
It’s time for you to sleep!

Close your eyes and listen to your heart,
Its songs are very short.
Listen to the flow of the wind,
The pain you are going through is not the end.

Every dark night ends with a bright light,
Till then enjoy the moons shine,
Sweetheart, sooner you will be fine,
Sleep my sweetheart!

I recite a lullaby for you to sleep,
All your sorrows will take a quantum leap.
Time heals everything,
Happiness! In others we are searching.

Not one thing I say, my sweetheart, is new,
Everything I recite you already knew.
Relax your hands, relax your wants.
Relax your legs, relax your egos,
Relax your head, relax your sorrow shroud.

Let life take its time to end all its mime.
Till then,
Sleep my sweetheart!

Good night!

Sunday, October 15, 2017

State of Solitude...

courtesy :

I read a book at one shot, without closing and no use of bookmarks, without food.  After I read I wrote a review.  Then I search if any movie has been made out of it; oh yes!  There was one that came out two decades back. I downloaded it and watched – not a good idea though.  Still the earth has not turned her back to the Sun; the moon has not shown up in the fire sprinkled sky. I have lot of time left to close my eyes I mean… to sleep.  I thought of disturbing all my companions – my books collection.  The strange habit of folding the tip of the page to remember some word or something of very important helps sometimes; I pluck out books at random and read those pages with folded tips and tried to remember why I folded it.  Bizarre, I have folded some pages to remember someone who I know I will forget. Enough of books for the day, I thought and moved the unread pile to a side and returned the read books to not to their own place.  I kept it at random place.

I searched for another time killer; found my smart phone; I was smart until I got one.  There are many different applications with hell a lot of usages.  I remember I downloaded a game in which I can shoot somebody and gain points, years back I furiously played it because I could not do it in real time.  These days there were not even such people in my life. I opened the messenger app and read all old conversations of which some I wanted to preserve and few I preserve but makes me think I shouldn’t have such conversations at all; to hell with it.  I closed the messenger and flipped through the photos; old and new.  I am still in solitude.  I entered the trap – the internet – the social networking.  Good thing about this social networking is I could visit somebody who I could not see in person and the bad thing about it is after I see I wanted to see them in person.  To hell with it too, I carefully threw my phone on the bed and sat crossed legged.

The room was silent like grave; don't ask me how many times I have been in grave. I thought about arranging the room so that it looks little tidy but then I decided against it as I may not find the book I want if I put everything in order.  When it is clumsy it was easy to search because it will be clumsy before and after search.  I looked around; all the switches were on, the light, fan, phone charger without phone, laptop charger without laptop, even the printer was awake waiting for something to print.  I suddenly remember that I felt thirsty sometime back.  I looked around for my water bottle which I have emptied sometime during the voracious book read.  I walked to kitchen and filled the bottle with water.  I walked back to the room and sipped the bottle little by little so that I could kill sometime and feel good about hydrating my body.

It was an early dusk.  Winter takes its toll to darken the earth early than usual. I arranged three pillows to my back and leaned over waiting for something to happen, may be a phone call, may be a message, or at least the fan over my head to fall over my head – nothing happened.  I closed my eyes and wanted to think nothing but only when I don't want to think my memory works faster than ever like a rejuvenated engine otherwise it always hibernates. I decided that it is not a good idea to sit with my eyes closed.  A mild wind flew via the open window and caressed my cheeks, how many ever time I want I could write about this wind, I thought.  Along with the wind flew the mosquitoes.  To kill any living thing is a sin; I say this to myself every time an ant bites me.  Ant bites a quite rare so I spared the lives of many by blowing it away.  But when it comes to mosquitoes they put my policy under test to its high as sometimes they make me guilt of killing few – dirty tiny creatures.

I jumped out of my bed, closed my window and switched off whatever switch I could find and walked out of my room.  In few seconds I was in the terrace.  There was enough space to walk, enough space from outside world to talk to self.  The sky was ill lit as the moon was only half. Horizon was filled with vertical cigars because of which the billions of stars I saw when I was a toddler became millions. Inflation has hit the sky!!  I wished I could see a asteroid, so far I have seen only three and I waited for the fourth.  Nothing happened in the sky, I was quite and empty just like my eyes.  I turned to the sound of firework that blasted in the sky and decorated the place; man does anything for tiny pleasures, I thought. And then I saw that, for which I waited for long time – an asteroid.  It took only four seconds it flew into our atmosphere and disappeared.  How beautiful the life of asteroid! Get attracted by a woman like earth, love like a fire when you near and finally disappear in her, I thought. 

All that I got from my solitude is words that I have not spoken but write.  Happy is just a word when somebody asks how you are, but to know it is only a word to hide all other words I do not want to speak is painful.  It is not easy to stay in solitude and that to when given no option.   Long live the solitude. 

Sunday, October 8, 2017

The One For Me...

….the one for me will look into my eyes with little shy.  When I look deep into her eyes her pupil will dilate which is enough to assimilate.   My heart will whisper its beats in my ears; my silence will say ‘I am all yours’.  There is no room for fears, I will say, when I fall is the time for your tears. When her hand shivers for being alone with me; my touch should stop all her quivers. When my voice stumbles her words will come for help before I crumble.  When there exist no words for lips it will be the time for our fingers; in each others’ it slips. Though the want to hold her in my arms exceeds, the dogma of love succeeds.  The naughty wind plays with her hair and I will put it back behind her ear.  Her thoughts will fly around the life’s beginning and mine will wander for our off springs; did I make it a plural – may be divine’s will. 

Don't be expect in culinary, I will say, for I might miss the romance in the kitchen, for you might know me not that I will eat anything with your fingers. Don't be healthy all the time, I will say, for you might miss the warmth of my arms all night long.  Don't come before me when I am angry, I will say, for I might throw my anger on you.  If you ask me what else to do; come from behind and embrace; let’s get twined.

Bored of pillows since I needed one, I will say, allow me to sleep in your lap once in a while for a nap. Don't leave me alone for a long time, I would say, for my cheeks may go saline. Never I understood anybody right, I would say, look everything from my eyesight.  I may look like grown up, I confess, but never have I felt like it really helped.  Take me in your palms, I promise; your words will be my psalms.  Pamper me in your arms, mesmerize me with your charms, be mine forever and let me leave you never.

…the one for me, you may be in some part of this world, may be a minute away; for now it is not a great distance but once you become only for me forget the word ‘distance’ for it might shake my persistence.  How do I say my love to someone I have not seen!  But when I see you, you are the all I mean.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Vale in agony...

Eyes of both were closed.  He sat holding her, like a stem holding the rose, behind her.  She sat leaning over him, her back over his chest.  It was drizzling outside with mild wind rattling the windows. “Don’t you want to feel it?” she asked. He said “I want…” There eyes remained closed for the reality might get into them.  She pulled his hand and placed it over her bare abdomen. “Your gift…” she said.  Her skin was soft, fresh and cold. He surfed over her abdomen up and down. The softness killed him internally.  Not the first time he felt the softness but it always feels like the first time. He moved his body to and fro to cradle her still with his hand over her abdomen. “Don't sway… you will miss it…” she said. He surfed all over her abdomen but he still missed it.  She grabbed his hands and moved slowly, slowly and slowly.  The skin felt even softer than he ever felt. She stopped moving his hands at moment, at a particular point. “Could you…?” She asked.  He didn’t reply.  He was deep in trance to make him one with her body and soul. He was in deep tranquillity; an inner peace.  His fast beating heart slowed down, the mind was out of fear and was clear.  He felt it. He felt the pulse. He felt the heartbeat; the second heart she carried inside her. The trance was deeper now.  He could imagine how the face would be, how the hands and legs would be.  He could imagine how she would smile – yeah he wanted it to be a girl. He could imagine… he could imagine…

“Could you?” she asked.  “I am with her…” he continued “my girl… my blood and soul…” words stumbled out from his mouth. “…don't say that” she stopped him.  The next hour went in silence. She adjusted herself in his chest, turned to kiss him in his neck. He replied with a smooch over her cheeks, lips and neck and…

His hands were still caressing his offspring.  She grabbed his hand again and tried to move it away.  He hesitated. “It’s time…” He took his hands away.

She got up and so him.  She looked into his eyes and said “this one hour is all I could give you…” He didn’t say anything. “You know… she has to go…” she said touching her abdomen. Tears rolled down her cheeks.  He hugged her and cried.  “Life is all mystery, puzzle…” she said.  “No… we made it so” He replied.

In a week his dream was dissolved. His blood was dissolved in her blood. 

Crazy creation!