It was day one of the Karthikai month for which lakhs
of mad devotees like me waiting to wear the sacred Mudra Thulasi Mala
and start their Austerity for the next forty plus days before starting
their pilgrimage to Sabari Malai. This madness started last year when I strode up
and down of the hills with multiple cuts in under my foot and somehow with last
1% of energy I reached the feet of Sastha Sri Ayyappan. I was supposed to wake up before sunrise so I
have set my alarm to 5am, 5.15am, 5.30am and for the worst case 6.30am too; my
usual alarm series for office. The alarm
number-1 sounded in the morning and when I woke up to snooze and go back to
sleep my mobile surprised me to show the time as 4.59am and it is still 1min for
the alarm to ring. The internal alarm rang to put me in perplexation so I don’t
go back to sleep! I put off alarm series
and work up from my comfortable bed which I am not going to use it for the next
month and half.
I switched on my geezer absent mindedly forgetting that I have
to bath in cold water. I switched off
the geezer and opened the tap it was super cool and the first mug of cold water
took my breath off for a second until my body realized what was happening! It took seconds to adopt to the chillness but
my body started relishing the cool water.
Everything was set to start the 48 days of austerity, lamps were lit,
sacred Thulasi Mala was around my neck, walked with bare foot to the Ayyappan
shrine near by to take the blessing of the Guru and Guru of all the Gurus!
The temple is full of devotees bowing down before their
gurus to wear the sacred Mala and the shrine looked like place of celebration
of spirituality, no, it is more than spirituality – a compassion towards self,
an obsession to take that not-so-easy pilgrimage, a passion to fall under the radar
of divinity and above all the love towards the Lord Ayyappan who was sitting in
meditation with his aura spread all over the eighteen hills around him.
Back home, the day was entirely different from usual days. I promised my self not to read anything other
than spiritual books not to watch or listen to distracting dramas. The day was peaceful but with the time the drowsiness
over took and I felt like lying down, sleeping; 5am was always midnight for me. It took a cup of strong tea to pull me out of
the drowsiness but I don’t know if I have dozed off for 5 to 10 mins somewhere
in middle. It is one of the dogmas not
to sleep during the day time in these 48 days.
They climate was crazy to pour heavily for 30 mins and scorch
for next few hours and become cloudy and dark within minutes. I had to take bath in the evening again, take
blessings from my Ayyappan in and walk to the temple again.
I reached the temple where everything was set for group
prayer not sure a congregation prayer would be the right word. This prayer will be full of songs louder enough
to reach the Sabari mala – the abode of Ayyappa – from here. When you shout, sing loudly no thoughts will
cross you mind and the lord himself walks into your heart and elate you with
divine trance. When the sound hit the
sky, from the crowd, a one-year-old baby got up and walked to the lamp placed
before the idol. His mother came running
to pick him up but one of the devotees told her not to stop him and he will be
taken care so she went back to the crowd and sat among others. To everyone’s
surprise the kid came stood before the guy who was singing to his highest voice
and sat on his lap. The entire room was
vibrating with ‘Swamiye Saranam Ayyappa’ and the kid looked very serene as if very
accustomed with prayer sound and people.
At the end of the prayer when everyone has to bow down before
Ayyappan the kid was standing before me and for every ‘Saranam Ayyappa’ chant we
bowed down to his feet and the kid stood like Ayyappan and smiled at us. Divine presence!
I had had to wipe my tears before writing this; I don’t know if it is happy
tears but I know it is something above happiness. I don’t know what is it because I’m a half-baked
dough in spirituality. I’m one amongst
the humans that searching for miracles to believe God and missing the miracles
happening every second around us! After all
these years of searching for miracles to believe the existence of the power up
above us, just one question stroke me lately – why should the supreme energy
prove its existence to you?
-SK
