Wrangle...

It was a wrangle between my eyes and mind.  When I said I saw an inverted sun rise and upside down sun set between her temple and nose, my heart deciphered, my mind heeded and my eyes hesitated to believe it.  My mind asked my eyes, ‘you are often acquainted with her hesitation and you started following her hesitation alike you follow her positions?’ to which my eyes replied ‘I am upon her not because of my own; it’s the will of the bloody heart which pumps in her images and spread out the love all over the body’.  Heeding to my eyes, replied my mind, ‘that’s a lie, do not you remember the days when the heart pondered not to turn to her and you still cannot keep yourself quite!’  As a reply to my mind’s reply, ‘oh ya, it is because I have been fed with a narcotic, beauty, and was kept in trance to conjure only her images. Not my fault’.  

‘Great, tell me what you understood not’ said my mind.  In response, my eyes said ‘what you do mean by inverted sun rise?’

'Hey you, the door of love, epigraphist of light – and the light which is the gate pass of beauty – cannot you see!, behind the shield of her eyes, there exist a sun warming up the brain; something of divine ilk that which make shed many drops of ink, rays black in color that shines when her saccades turn on and off’, my mind translated it to my eyes

‘Do you say so? Might be, though I have commuted it to you, I have missed it in my peep at the astonishing’, when the breeze entered her hair without any permission and made it to dance on her forehead and got sufficed only she slowly waved her hand up and down, parted her fingers from one another and caressed her hair to put it in his place along with her falls in black.  Then she made sure her tangle were perfect, to make the thoughts go tangle’ said my eyes

‘Oh that tangled hairs you are talking about! It is a twisted labyrinth’ my mind frowned

‘Sometimes you go insane and forget about what you talk about; you say it a labyrinth and I know you are longing to get trapped in it’

And suddenly both went silent.  Only the sound of the beats of my heart, which skipped few and slipped here and there, I could hear.  Few seconds later, after the aroma has just passed away, she walked away, the wrangle started again…

             ...when I said I saw an inverted sun rise and upside down sun set between her temple and nose, my heart deciphered, my mind heeded and my eyes hesitated to believe it…

Spells...

http://www.josephinewall.co.uk

“Why are you so silent… why can you look at my eyes and talk something… am I scaring you?” 

She might ask you a day when you are very silent, could not move on to the next line of the book you read also could not look into her glowing eyes…

…tell her “No.  You are mesmerizing”

On a day, when you are overwhelmed with the spells of your deity, and when you tell her

“Hey… if you stop smiling this world will go dark”

She will laugh at you and say “I already have cold… from where you get these words…”

Tell her “…I don’t get it from anywhere else it’s all reality”

She might say nothing but look in to your eyes and in the language of silence, in the colloquy of love, will tell you to continue… then say,

“You see, that is why it is always night when you sleep…”

“What happened to you…” she might giggle

Reply her, “I don’t know, slightly feverish, might have fallen in somebody’s eyes”

“May the God save you…” she might reply with a smile.  Though, you can see she likes to listen to you.  You can see that in her eyes.

“He cannot save me...
...I have fallen into the beautiful eyes of an enchanting goddess”

Now keep yourself ready for the hug…

Fumes of a burning soul

One day when I have no place to go, even now I do so; I will search all my old text that I scribbled in your thoughts, lessons that you taught, in my state of bewildered trance, and recollect the days I spent in solitude, with gratitude to love that made me write like a bee collecting nectar even after knowing there will come somebody wild and suck the life out of the soul; the nectar collected after thousand toils.

I will commemorate every magical moment you enchanted me with you accidental glimpse over my mortal physical body to suffice my soul with the warmth of amniotic. I will conjure the moments you dug my heart to bring the polished diamond drop to the edge of my eye lashes.

You stayed always a repelling opposite poll and made me confused to conclude nature of attraction works with only human natural force and not with occult deity’s source. It was a two edged sword did I hold, used my trodden heart as its scabbard without any fold, the perplexity either to give up or follow up is a pain all over my soul.

Your every hesitation and my frustration many a time cuddled up to waste drops of ink on a paper and made myself conclude a schizophrenic when I read back what it is on the paper, then I tore. All my waits end up in a situation which always a pathetic waste of time; waste of time in the wrong place to wait.

Not even a fraction of a second you hid yourself in my mind but to substitute you hide yourself whenever my eye lid vibrates towards your direction.  Love is a song of beauty, music composed with melancholy, lyrics written with harmony.  You made my hymn with everything along with longing pain and your image's strain.

I neither ask you to love me back nor contemplate my burning soul.  A day will come, for a fraction of a millisecond my image will cross your beautiful mind and if you have time, for my solace, just say ‘rest in peace’.

A Plan...

God has a plan

You will not understand

Keep things move on

Right on time people will be thereon

Let the love to desert you freely

At a distance you will see oasis slowly

Every step towards the every next step

There exist lot of steps to eschew

Allow your heart to accommodate fear,

accommodate tear, but remember days are few

but there exist always a lot of time to sew

Love is not a destination

short cuts only bring deception

Love is a path to follow

tell your soul heart is not a hallow

instinct heeds signs but to listen you need to allow

For no reason depression will down you one day,

to the divine; it’s the time for your complete succumb

To exile from body is not your freedom,

though boredom makes you struggle and become numb

a day will come, pure love will embrace and remove your scum

Wait for the sun to rise, day to shine

Understand, darkness is not a curse but a test by divine.

Hallucination

…when my phone rang and I looked into the screen, it was a pleasant shock, for the first time she called me.

I was standing on the other side of the road and she in another side.  I found her when I lifted my phone to my face to make sure my eyes were no wrong what it is looking at...

She waved her hand and all five petals moved right and left.  I am not very sure what I am looking at still I made a note to make myself sure I haven’t gone mad.

I stepped down towards her, on the road, nothing was behind me either, nothing was before me nor.  All I found was only she.  Like beetles in air few metallic bodies crossed here and there missing me left and right.  No sounds I could hear, no colors I could see, no sign of danger I could heed, no memories of my existence in this so-called world.  Alike a black hole at the speed of light I was attracted towards her light by her black mole.  I lost my gravity of memory and all I could remember was the wave of hands to and fro to call me and make me a love pro.

Suddenly she signed ‘stop’ and followed by ‘go back’.  I frowned like a fish of a broken bowl.  All I heard is a howl.  I saw a fast approaching car hungry for blood, I know I want to shed.

I could see the fast approaching’ through the angle of vision I am blessed with; still I could not take my sight from the light the spread all along and the one which want to consume me.  The force was very strong though it wanted to repel, the force of attraction override the repulsion. 

The fast approaching’ approached faster then I expected.  I didn’t take my eyes out of her.  A dash in my legs threw me in air and I fell down fast on the road, all of a sudden I woke up in a great shock from my sleep on my bed.  When I tried to reach for my water bottle I slipped from my bed and fell down in the dark and when I open my eyes it was bright and I am still holding my mobile phone in my hand on the other side of the road.  I closed my eyes to recollect what all happened, someone who walked by has dashed me, the shock which that car dash gave me flashed my memory and I opened my eyes with fear to find my phone in air and when I tried to catch it I hit a lamp post near the bus stop.  I was shocked and came back to reality by a sound horn of the train approaching the platform and I moved back from the edge of the platform…

Hallucination.

Temperature of love...

Clenching her blanket and eyes closed she was there in her bed, and when he reached her and asked ‘are you sick?’

She said ‘Yes baby, I am sick without you…’ He asked her to remove her blanket but she refused.  

‘Now what darling, what happened?’ he said

‘I am not gonna let anything else inside my blanket except you’ she glimpsed her tired eyes.

‘Oh baby I know you’re sick… do you have a temperature?’ he asked

‘I don't know’ she said and close her eyes again

‘Okay I am coming in’ He said

‘Please darling’ she replied

img : Google

He could feel the temperature burning her body and energy.  He tightened his hug to grasp all the temperature she was suffering with. Hug, it’s a shrug of love.

‘You are gonna catch fever from me’ she said and adjusted herself on his chest

‘I won’t use any blanket other than you, if so…’ he replied

 ‘Let us go to doctor, baby’

‘I will be fine, just be with me closer than possible closeness’ she replied wrapping her hand around his neck and moving her face towards his cheeks.  She kissed him.

In a second she felt little wetness on his cheeks, she learnt it’s his tears.

‘Baby, don't cry.  Why do you cry it’s just a normal fever’ she said

‘But, baby, it’s you, my soul, and my best half.  I know how tiresome you must feel.  I could not able to bear the temperature from your body baby, how do you!!’ he replied

‘Just be with me, kiss me once in a minute, caress me with all the love you have got then I can sustain any degree of temperature, my darling.’ She said with another kiss.

 ‘I will be with you, baby.  I have no place to go

You are my only haven, my heaven’ he replied.

In an hour they were back from hospital.  She stopped him entering the house and looked into his eyes.  No words needed to convey the message from a heart to heart just silence does and from one part of heart to another just eyes does.

He lifted her in his arms; she lost herself in his arms in her tiredness that her temperature gave her.  He made her lie in her bed.  When he was about to move away she pulled him by hands and made him lie next to her. 

‘Frankly, I am afraid, baby.  This fever is painful’ she said and cried and he too.

‘Nothing to worry darling, just ordinary fever, you will be alright’ he said and pulled her over him She slept.

Next day, almost mid day, he woke up with fever on her lap. 

‘Love you baby’ she said  

Girl who counts the Stars...

Though you be among hundreds or thousands, let there be few hundreds who were lovely and charming and one elegant girl will sweep you off your feet and make you look for her and wait; fall in love with her. She might take few days or weeks to realize that you are looking at her, she would pretend that she took days and weeks though she took only hours, believe that she took long time to grasp your glimpse. When you search for her she might not turn up, sometimes delays intentionally, plays hide and seek, but just a second before you lose hope she will be before your eye sight though will not allow you to talk or seek a word; believe in love, she is your angel sent from up above.

One fine day you might get a seat next to her, she will act not to listen to you or look at you with her earphone and mobile phone, your heart beats will jump like a jelly knowing not either to go up or down, or left or right. When you collect all the courage that lord has given you and recollect all the words you prepared she will look direct into your eyes and say “hi” you may reply but you would have forgotten all those prose and poetry you have plagiarized,  mesmerized with her first ever word; don't lose hope you still have time to cope.

When days passes on this way one fine day she might walk to a distance, but up to which you can see, turn back at you and smile to commute you in sky for hundred miles; understand she love you too.

She might expect you to say those lovely three words but now its time for you to play. Do not fall in her eyes for quite sometime, may be for days and one fine day sit with another beautiful girl and don't look at her for a while because girls are intelligent she might find you just with a smile. Few moments later look at her, by the time she would have become a burning furnace. Now go near her, she might slap you little bit hard; don't worry that's a stamp to make all sure that you are born for her. Before she brakes into tears say “Baby, I am all yours”. Aha, now in your eyes you will find tears before she cries. Do not bother about the surrounding the world is all yours, embrace her with all the love you have suspending your fears.

She is the girl who counts the stars and will tell you “these many are my dreams and I am gonna give up and become a dwarf in your lap. Will you take care of me?” now say “Oh girl, love you my darling angel”

Dear Christ...

For the lord, my God I offer a song

Close your eyes he will appear and be with you along

For the one who slept in cross for the sins of world,

here I lull him to sleep in the hearts that where about to fall

Proof that God exist you came to us oh lovely Christ,

we are mortal humans missed to keep the trust

Forgive us for all the sins including your Crucifixion

come back to us one more time not to die but for us to survive

Hail Mary conceived without sin, bring back your son

world is becoming polluted with atrocities of human

We learnt, he 's the love that consumes, beyond any conditions

he is the synonym of love in spiritual tradition

Dear Christ , on the day we assume as your birth – though

we know you are beyond that and even death

we wash your feet with tears that floods – because

you presence in heart makes us divine in blood

Dear savior of trodden souls, many are left untouched

considered to be origin of sinful souls, we know

before your eyes everything under the sun in divinely touched - and

humans are made resembling You that You wanna show

Come to us dear Christ, live with us in all our joys

make us better than the best and eliminate all our cloys

All that beats in the planet make them your sacred heart

O! dear  Christ, enough that we - human - fought, make us love a lot.


ps: Christ or Krish God is God for me.

Come to me...

Late in the night, I woke up when a I felt suffocated with memories and their by I left my body sat next to me in my astral plane dictated myself to write that comes to my mind….

I really cannot keep you out of my mind when you walk in my memory ravine; waiting for the days to change, clouds to pass, sun to shine, you to turn love to bloom or at least my days to end. Human go against nature, spoiling the future against the protocols of God and the calls of Goddess nature, there He invented a tool to betray; Love the tool that makes all sane a fool.

Everything that exist, somehow or the other is made out of love and it’s the force that keeps everything to persist. Life stuck between birth and the death, it starts between love and the soul and ends when you realize the reason for what you are born.

Stolen from Google images

We name it Love though we know it’s a music played by hormones along with the rule of the attraction but what is it called when blood is no red.

Between the lust and the crush grows hormone, peace and a feel that makes all of us go around, in the hands of one another.  I am not supposed to write anything about love until her image flashed before I closed my eyes to see the internal ‘I’, oh it is a lie.

Come upon to me, drag me near to you kiss me hard, kill me with your eyes, pierce me with your nose, make me numb with your voice, clutch me in your arms, hang on to my shoulder, give me pain, rest in my chest,   live in my heart allow me to die in your bosom.

Talk to me with my lips, grab me in my hips, let me take you in my arms, hug you hours long, do not move away for years, with mild breeze of your breathe tighten you arms and whisper “I am all yours” in my ears.

I am singing a hymn

crtsy : goddess google

I am singing a Hymn; to everything that exists, everybody who persists, every love that perishes.  To the hearts that beats consuming the blood from the chords where it hangs and an invisible sting of invincible hands which pulls in and out to make it to beat to make it a magic called life; to that beats, to that chords, to that hands and to that magic I am singing a hymn.

To every kiss, for divine lust, to the love an occult mist, to that ounce of oneness that we call romance for wellness, to every tight hug, to every glimpse which act as shrug; I am singing a hymn.

To every word that flow from up above, to all vital beings that fly over and above, to every meaning that goes over my head, to every awesome lines which make me stuck, to all my reads, to all the wisdom I need, to all the sign I heed, to my Mother who feed, in the form of lullaby; I am singing a hymn.

The reminder that kills, the remaining that chills, to the shoulder I wait, to the moments I weep, to the song that sweep, my memory that fades, my eyes that likes shades, to the colors in the pictures, to pictures in the colors, to the love their exist between the present and the past; I dedicate it, the hymn that I sing.

To the course of life that changes, to the changes that has courses for life, the lesson I learnt, to the time I burnt, to the sins I committed, for all the guilt I felt, for all the gift of God I received, to all the Gods I believed, to my tears, to my fears, to all who gave me cheers here I go; I am singing a hymn

To the women I loved, the women I kissed, the women I missed, to the women I dream, for the pain that she gave me in silence for me to scream, to the longings I hold, to the long days I sold for the cost of belief, to the least relief, holy love listen; I am singing a hymn

To all the sarcasm, sacrifice, insanity, irresistibility, for all my irresponsibility, trials that ended up in errors and to the errors that begets yet another trial, to all that we do to our life and to what I did to myself with knife, to my smiles, to my anguish, to be foolish, to all the questions I have; I am singing a hymn

To every orphan in this planet and to the family of my planet, to every child left in the road, to every hand who took the situation in hold, to all the saviors, for all their behaviors, to the every soul crushed in these metallic chaos, to every child suffered behavioral ailment of their guardians, to all the guardian angels who know what is the treatments, from my heart, I skip a beat, in a rhythmic plot; I am singing a hymn… I am singing a hymn… I am singing a hymn...

Sleep on my lap...

…it should be 11.45 pm to 12.00 am mid-night; I walked slowly in the dark and entered her room to see her sleeping.  Without disturbing the night and half mid night light of the lamp I walked to her bed and I found her hand holding the bed-spread, hairs spread all around her pillow.  I stopped my breath for few seconds and bent down to her ear and said "darling, I feel jealous of that pillow in white. Why did you choose that life less when I have my hand for you to hold and lap for you to sleep?"  In half sleep she smiled with opening not her eyes.  I took her head in my palm and threw the pillow to her next, sat on the bed and made her rest in my lap.  She moved up and down like a wave about to rest and sufficed my lap like the water sufficing the shore.  Slowly I inserted my finger in her hand grabbing the bed-spread and she plugged her fingers in mine as if waiting for.  Her long hair flowed down from my lap.  I caressed her forehead, and moved the hair that was covering her ears and combed with my fingers, another wave swept the bed and hit the shore. 

“Why did you come now” she asked.  

“To kiss you” I said

She smiled and clutched my hand tight.  Few more seconds in silence, she kissed my lap and broke the silence. 

“I said I want to” I said

“Hmmmm” she moaned and moved the hairs on her cheeks.

I bent to her ears and whispered “are you sure?”

Without answering she grabbed my neck down with her hands, still closing her eyes.  I kissed her eye lash.  She tried to open her eyes I said “No” and she did so.

“You glow like a diamond eating the light in this dark night lamp” I said caressing her forehead

“Are you bluffing or blogging in mid night” she giggled

“No, I am living” I replied.

She opened her eyes grabbed my neck down and stopped the flow of words from my lips to make me awe stuck and she got up, sat and leaned on my shoulders.  I pulled her tight to me and said “Love you” without any reply she slept, head on my one shoulder and her hand on other.  I held her close like a shell covering a Pearl.  I closed my eyes on her hair.

A sudden shock I felt in my legs that spread all over my body and I opened my eyes to see me in my bed in my room.  And it is said, that that’s how astral travel ends.

Unclaimed Kaleidoscope...

Hope you could feel why I say "Unclaimed Kaleidoscope...". This is just to commemorate our visit to Bethel home for girl children

http://siragugal-in.blogspot.in/2012/11/unclaimed-kaleidoscope.html

The Hidden Light

have to link my another blog until it gets approved :)
This is for, of  a girl I saw in an orphanage; Bethel Home for Girl Children, Chennai
http://siragugal-in.blogspot.in/2012/10/the-hidden-light.html

Word-O-Logy

My Take; Word-O-Logy !

Tanya's word-o-logy is a fun idea to play along....This is a game to associate words with set themes... 

Pic Ctsy :  Tanya    :p

Rain -Elixir

Friendship - Soul-mate 

Life - Gift

Love - Sugar

Maths - Nightmare

Angel - Mother

Black - Racism

Women - Earth

Dreams - Longings

Philosophy – bull-shit

This page has been submitted as a part of  Word-O-Logy Wednesday at "Coveted Dreams"
Take part & Have Fun !!

- Luv 

Sathish

It pains in love

An evening, a melancholic breeze embraced me, kissed my cheeks and crawled on my lashes and lips as and when I walked on the streets.  On the way there stood a big shopping mall, old but tidy, calling the night to hug but the lights glittered from inside and outside made a split.  Slowly I walked inside, charming girls and boys, beautiful ladies and men, lovely grannies and grandpas were busy shopping.  In the middle of the mall, there exist a place to sit on the floor and I saw him sitting heads down in silent.  I learnt none of the sound of the many that surround touched his ears.  He looked to be tired and torn.  Hey I know him, very well.

Taking my eyes from all that delighted moved my foot to near him, sat next to him.  Without looking at his face I asked him ‘how are you?’ in reflection, identifying me quicker than me he said ‘doing not so good, by the way it’s long time we met, are you alright?’ he said.  ‘I guess I am doing ok’ I replied.  Few a minutes passed in silent.  He didn’t looked at me, neither I looked at his eyes I know it is not dry but wet with the remainders of the mind.

‘So’, I started the conversation.  He didn't reply.  ‘Try leaving me alone’ he said.  ‘You know I cannot’ I replied.  ‘Yes but….’ His words stuck and stumbled.  ‘You cannot talk to anyone, now tell me what is running in your mind even I am not doing so really well as I am hurt with failures and laughter’ I said.

            ‘The place where you sit is where she used to sit with me, like a child with charming smile and love.  Not a day passed away without seeing her in smile and this place always reminds me the hours she waited for me, mornings and evenings we spent hand in hand, the chillness of her fingers, the light in her eyes, her soft skin’, he said as few drops of tears rolled down and sufficed the floor.

pic : google.com

            He continued, ‘My first happiness that almighty gave me, a colorful butterfly that flew and stopped on my fingers hesitated to fly away in whatever the situation was.  But I lost her, I burnt her wings to make her fly away, took revenge on the almighty hands that gave her to me without knowing me.’

            ‘The day I proposed, we walked a long distance and when we reached the destination she said ‘no’.  I played all tricks, did all occult magic and a day came I was far away from her, traveling, she asked me if I will take her away even if this world is against us.  I hesitated not a second to say yes.  Fool! She believed.  When I was back from the trip she suffered many evenings to get away from me to home.  We spoke all naughty and sweetest things all over the night in phone.  We lived intensely naturally, physically and in nights; virtually.  We even spoke about the children that were not born; we named them, decided on the number too.’

            ‘And that day came I asked her a kiss, she said yes.  We both felt the love with the lips, embraced like river and the stone.  Her smell haven’t left my nostrils yet, her softness still sleeps on my skin and her touch kills me as if there is, in heart, a cut.  She slept on my shoulders when she is tired, also when the train or the bus lulled her to sleep; my shoulders still pains like hell.’

            ‘A day came; she cried and cried. I left her for my work.  Then every problems sleeping woke up with the trickle of her tears.  Days didn’t allow her to stop crying.  And from my side I hurt her with my silence and cowardice.  I stopped her to come to me every time she felt like vanishing.  She had become a torn piece of life, a burnt heart, a hurt butterfly.  I killed all her innocence, her smile, her sweetness in the name of love. I killed her bit by bit.  Fool! She didn’t leave me.’

            ‘When I said come, she didn’t come as there were some good signs life has shown us.  But as they days passed life became tough and everything turned red.’

            ‘One fine day, after all our struggles failed, for the sake of people who brought me into earth and bought up, I said her to stay away from my life.  She cried, still she believed me, but she cried.  Unable to bear my hesitations, carrying all memories in her sweet heart my sweet heart left me.  After years I spoke to her today but could not do anything with myself and here I sit crying in her memories, with my love’, He said and stopped.

I could not stop myself from tears but then I tried to stop it before it escapes my lashes and was successful. When I opened my eyes I found him disappeared.

I am a fool.

Words or Deeds, what teaches?

Words or deed! what teaches?
http://siragugal-in.blogspot.in/2012/07/words-or-deeds-what-teaches.html

-sathish

55 - Fangs

My another blog where I write for a cause; for a small group of Coalesced feathers of helping hearts; Siragugal
http://siragugal-in.blogspot.in/2012/08/ff-fangs.html

-Sathish

The inverted exclamation - Exaltation yet another part

I was walking, in fact wandering, retrospectively and saw her under the sun and she proved the prose ‘nothing new under the sun’ is just for a pun.  My throbbing heart wanted to put her under the shade so I plucked it out using a blade, and gave it to the divine earth allowing my eyes to fade.  Burying alive is painful but kind of exaltation. May be not, but leaving it alive throbbing could be  sinful because it stays caged with no relation.   And it sprouted in a second and grown a wild tree, wide spread in a minute.  She didn't come near so the tree which has grown out of my throbbing heart asked for help from the neighboring trees, not sure even those are born out of similar hearts, to shake wild and change the wind and the direction it blew.  They proved they are the branches of longing hearts, as the trees changed the course of the wind, curtains of the sky gathered together and blessed her with their sprinkles of love from the heaven and made her to search for a temporary haven.

crtsy: flickriver.com

She realized that the sprinkles of love touching without her permission, she do not know it is a different mission, though she enjoyed the chillness of the air and the droplets from heaven, she came running towards the tree that grown from my heart, which is throbbing still, she reached the tree and shivered because of chillness.  Wiping the dew from her rosy cheeks, she blew it in the air and that touched the root where my heart is burning.  The surfing and suffering was blown away with the drops of beauty she had thrown. 

Knowing not what to do, she grabbed a sharp dagger like metal piece from the ground and with that she started piercing a small part of the trunk, wondering what is she doing, she was in process of embedding her name in the trunk.  She do not know it is their already their but invisible.  Invisible! No, it is all around the trunk, every layer of my heart, may be because of which she could not observe it. 

Taking few long minutes, she wrote her name on my heart, bit long name.  She ended with an inverted exclamation mark to make me wonder how much her father and mother could have wondered looking at her beauty and named her with an inverted exclamation. 

The clouds exhausted and stopped pouring.  And her mission completed in marking her presence under the tree.  She ran away with smile and I waited for her to disappear but after few steps she turned back, looked at her curving on trunk, smiled and few more happy steps she disappeared.  With occult blessing of love I transformed the tree in to my heart again, dug the earth and found my heart still alive and throbbing.  Placed it again inside and everything started functioning normally and my brain as usual abnormally. 

The pain, I felt in my heart was heavy and increased with every beat.  Is it something abnormal, the occultism did not work properly or the mud that has covered it when it was under the earth causing the pain.  Few long seconds of scan I found the reason, though painful I loved it.

 

She has forgotten to take the dagger out from the trunk when she finished placing the dot over her inverted exclamation mark.

Darling angel...

Darling angel;  

not my original angel, stolen from google

I thought it is lust or the crush,

that makes me owe for love

But it makes me feverish in mind,

O! That’s divine, it’s

something that spreads in my neural ravine

Oh! I am still fine.

Though many surround and

when you are around,

You pull me with your smile 
and throw me in air

and I don’t know, could be a mile

You make the air romantic and me frantic

Thou art my love, though everything looks dramatic

Angel, my angel,

Somebody asked me to show the mother of beauty

they might have thought I will show you as my deity 

but I didn't show you my deity; though you are lovely, 

 but question is the mother of beauty

I said, 'I still didn't meet her mother', sweetly.

Exaltation...

He felt his little heart is not enough to carry the love he posses towards her, he felt he is too small to hold the immaculate feel that love gives and he felt that that’s the reason his love never touched her.  So then he decided…

She placed her bare foot on his naked bosom; with no lust he loved it.  Chillness of her palm killed him to get up and hug her but he didn’t do. Slowly, with her thumb, she dug his chest, that has hurt his bosom and a mild pain spread all over with pleasure.  He was enjoying it.  It has been years together he waited for that moment. 

Her fifth finger, small and sharp scratched his chest here and there.  Looked like Ishtar has crowned it for its beauty or maybe she didn’t cut her nails properly. 

His soul urged to burst out from inside, pull her to him closely and tightly to get inside her, embrace her neck with lips and whisper ‘my love, I will come to you as I always do at least next time do not hesitate’ in her ear.  He didn’t do it, she would not listen.

He cannot cry now, but it rained.  He thought she would run away but she didn’t. Drizzling embraced her free flowing hair and drops of rain stuck to her hair here and there like the diamonds arrangement on an ornament.  Breeze entered her long bunch of hair to get replenished with romance.  Chillness touched her, she shook her head and the romance sprinkled all over in the air and few drops touched him to suffice his burning soul.

A drop walked down slowly on her forehead and reached her nose and its tip, then finally reached her rosy lips. 

‘O lovely drop of rain, tell me how beautiful is her forehead I never looked at her continuously more than a second, tell me how sharp is her nose, did it hurt you? If so you are blessed.  I waited to feel that pain for very long time.  And tell me, O divine drop of rain, how soft is her lips, how many lines have you read there of the poetry of beauty between the lines of the wrinkles.  Is it soft as rose, tasty as honey, O godly drop of rain, please tell me I never reached her so closely’ 

Scattering the dream of that water drop to get inside her mouth and to become a pearl, she blew it from her lips and that touched his bosom. 

‘O man lying here, I never felt divine until I walked on her forehead, I never knew pain gives pleasure until her sharp nose pierced me, and, I know only to fall from heaven to earth and never have fallen in love, never have seen a little angel with so much of beauty and never have felt so much of romance until I reached her lips.  It is softer than any softest rose bud, sweeter than any sweetest honey.  I never knew death is exaltation until she blew me to earth to touch you’

He felt his little heart is not enough to carry the love he posses towards her, he felt he is too small to hold the immaculate feel that love gives and he felt that that’s the reason his love never touched her.  So then he decided to get out of his mortal body to become everything this universe has and to become the universe itself.

He could not stop himself to get up, come out.  An earthquake hit the area, she was shocked.  She took her broken sandals in her hand and ran away from the place.

Before he left his mortal being he said, ‘Let her not know, but bury me on the way to her home, let her not know. A day will come, she will stop and walk over my bosom with her naked foot, and my soul will rest in peace.  But tell her I will come back to her even incarnation after incarnation just to win her heart.’

 On the way to her home, bury me.  I will rest in peace.



Image : google.com

say you are mine...

…you raise it and slow it as if it is yours, as if you hold the accelerator in your hand.  It is not a plaything painted in red for you to play with it like a kid. It inhales the red water and exhales it not with the glimpse of your eyes that is how not it has been designed but fortunately that is what happens. Stop not your glimpses; let me live.

Image from google.com

You hurt me always like a child hurts her mother’s bosom; let it be with any angry or anything, it neither gives anguishing pain nor torment in any of the mother’s veins but a sense of feel of attachment, a selfish motherly love.

In your vanity I enjoy the joy of being hated by a little angel.  There is no tradition in the past or present to love not the one who hates.  I still adore your vanity admire your pride.  You are my pride, what not even if you do not want to be my bride you are still my pride.  Falling in love with an angel is not just a just fact it take hundreds of years to realize the love, incarnation after incarnation, which is above what the humans are blessed with.   How long I can wait! Though it might take hundreds of long years for an angel to realize my love, how long can I wait!  

Till the masterful sun burns itself to nothing – I can wait, till the day the shameless moon stops begging light from the earth – I can wait.

Sometimes, in night mother sleeps leaving her child in the cradle and a sudden cry makes her wake up to cradle her baby to and fro and that is how you wake me up in the mid nights with your gestures in dreams and oscillates my mind to and fro.  You crawl in my mind in my neural ravine, and instead of reaching my brain you reach my heart.

You taught me how to persevere in any pain, though, with diminishing confidence but what is the relationship between love and confidence.  Mine is not a war to acquire any land or wealth it’s a tradition of perseverance for winning a beautiful heart of goddesses of wealth.  Though it’s a diminishing confidence, no mother stops feeding her child just for a reason her child bit her bosom the last time; only a motherly love knows the treasure in the pain.

…exiled, I feel, when you turn your back to me and unbelievably I feel venerable when I thought I still love you.  The days without you were the days in the space – I neither I grow old nor young – where time do not exist.

Will a day come, you will sit next to me looking at something else and I will be looking at you alone and nothing else.  I will try my best to make you understand what I have gone through being in love, being alone thinking just of you. 

What if you didn’t understand? What if you do not want to hear me? What if you do not want me to talk about the past?

But …if you pull me towards you, grabbing my checks with your rosy hands and say ‘I am yours’

...say you are mine

...say you are mine.

Aham Brahmasmi!

Born out of love, humanity, I have everything this universe has in it.  I am everything, the god and the evil, the creator and the annihilator, the man and the women, love and hate, a sadhu and a rapist, an imperialist and communist, an antagonist and a comrade, dagger and the blood, disease and medicine, ailing and the  healing, a beast and the pray, mud and the water, creation and destruction and I am the reason for everything and every things reason is me, I am all in one and the one in all; Aham Brahmasmi.

I can chop the devils among me in to pieces and pieces and pieces with my sword and take out the nerves out from the hand of the one who touches a kid to rape and hang him with same nerves.  I can pierce the fine needles into the eyes of the racist to reach his brain to take out the very cell that made him a racist.  I can take the bones out of the legs which can walk and still steels the happiness of a kid to make him beg. I can tear the one into two, legs apart, the one who crushed a woman in lust. I can take all the sins and can sleep tranquilly in the cross. I am the sin and I am the healing; Aham Brahmasmi.

I suffer for love and I am the one who make few suffer for love.  I am the poverty and richness, the money and the food, the giving and the taking, the heart and the beat, the breath and the lungs, the cells and the tissues, depression and the obsession, the motivation and discouragement.   I am the fear, the tear, the longing, the sex, the lust, the gene, womb, fetus, new born, well grown, young, the very old.  I am the birth and I am the death.

I can make the young an old, who made his own old homeless, and make his young to make him homeless.  I can squeeze the intestine of a woman who hates feeding the old of his home and I can protect her when she becomes old.  I can be a walking stick of the elder ones and act as a plastic leg of the one who lost his own.  I can be a trap of man eaters and the law to punish it. 

I am the water, the fire, the pyre, the air, the contamination, the pollution, the science, an atheist, a scientist, a theists, the music, the sound, the noise, the voice, the peace, the calamity, the religion, the cast, the creed, the fight, the war, the source, the fuel, the scarcity, the surplus, the intelligence, the foolishness, the countries, the continents, the earth, the world, the space, the light and I am the universe spread out in the space and the space spread out in universe; Aham Brahmasmi

I wage war for land and quake it to eat the man, I am the weapon and I am the destruction of the one who hold it, I grow the humanity and make them drown into the sea.  I am the reason for religion and the blood I spill for my religion.  I am the caste and creed and the separation among myself, I am everything.  I can peel the skin of the one who kills in the name of religion and fights in the name of caste.  Ignorance, I cannot bless, I can kill the ignorant and I am the ignorance.

I am everything you see, the humanity, I hold everything in one place and the one I hold in one place is everywhere.  And what a human is what one provokes. Aham Brahmasmi.


img crtsy : google