I didn't turn...

The place where I uttered my first word to you, my angel, you were there today chanting your usual spells on others, I was not bound to that spell because I didn’t see the wand. The same place when I wanted the details of you existence, you crooned something which I could hear but was in a mood of trance that nothing has been registered in my virtual note but your glowing eyes with a shield and the irreplaceable crown which your wand holds.  

I was put in a situation like a mother who could feel the kick practice of the child in the womb, could feel what all happens to it but could not see its charming face though she carries her inside, though the baby is her a part of her blood, body and soul – I didn’t turn to you.  

The oscillation of my hormones and my miniature cells - not going down to the details because devil is in the detail – grabs me to turn back to look at the angel standing behind and the past in which I lived in dumps grabs me not to turn – a war between hell and the heaven.  I sat in the middle of cold water and hot larva wherein the either of will kill me and thrash me into pieces.  My eye sight went blur and the technical chaos before me went out of my mind, I was concentrating not on my technical chaos but on the spells my angel keeps chanting – the ritual of love.  

Blurred vision worsened, it has became dark and black, could it be the hell where I am killing my own soul in the burning love or the heaven where I am drinking the poison of crush.  The black turned slowly to pale blue, my fairy world which I built, for my angel and me to be by her side.  I saw her, sitting alone waiting for me; I could not see her glittering face, her broken wand because she was sitting facing not me.  I started walking towards her, she was in her lavender costume filling the air with romance and love and that was the romance which could break me in to thousands pieces of water sprinkle and that was the love which could make a holy elixir.  It started raining, the blessings from heaven, and the blessings from all the acolytes of the immortal presence.  I wondered the droplets haven’t distract my vision, and haven’t make me wet.  She turned to a side; I could see a part of my soul, a part of her face.  The Intense romance in the air hypnotized me and I want to close my eyes and cry, shed all my suffering of love in my tears so that it would disappear in the rain.  I went close to my angel in lavender, now I want to go on my knee, take her flowery foot in my hand and kiss there but I am still not close to her.  I walked close to her I went on my knee, called her by a name, she started turning to me and I felt a tap on my hand.  It was a tap by a creature of the immortal, could not blame the hands which tapped since I might never come back from my trance, my world to this materialistic world. 

I saw you, my angel walking away from me, without even uttering a spell on me, without even blessing me a saccade.  I tried to come back to normal and went back to the day when I asked your existence the same place, the same time almost.  

All that I love seldom comes near; all that I hate seldom gets lost.