Thursday, April 12, 2018

Demon in distress

…he woke up in the midnight; no, he didn’t sleep still.  He walked down the road like a demon in distress.  The empty night didn’t give him fear for he was ready even to die. The wind was heavy, the street lights were bright.  He felt that it will be good without lights, it will be better without the sadist moon in the sky.  Every step he strolled he could hear his heart beats in his ears for the entire town was sleeping.

He knew, even his last drop of tear would not bring any answer to him from her.  He knew, the excess of love he pours is thrown into the sewage.  Life will get better someday, he believed.  His love will be answered and reciprocated, he trusted.

As he walked with wet eyes and thoughts that hindered his ears there was a call from the behind.  A lady in white, bright in the night, surrounded with light.  She might be the devil in disguise, he thought.  No” she said listening to his inner voice, “I am your guardian angel” she continued.  He has gone insane as a result of insomnia, he thought.  No, you are all sane” his guardian angel said and continued “come let’s take a walk”.

What is happening with you? Why are you alone walking the road that takes you nowhere?” she asked. 

I feel incomplete, I feel incapable for love” he replied. 
She smiled.
If you are going to get out of this planet after our talk, why don't you take me with you for all through out my life I had only one companion – the solitude  he said.
Dear, I have no advice to give you, I came down to listen to you for you stopped talking with yourself too” She said.
I don't have anything to talk; I expect nothing, not even love.  It is better to be in solitude as nobody is hurt and nobody is going to hurt me” He replied.
You cannot stay in this planet expecting nothing.  Tell me what is paining your heart, what is that you want?  She asked.
He walked in silence; she walked with him to listen. 
I need many things that life could give me not so far.  When I walk I need a hand to hold my palms to say I am walking along.  When sit in silence I need a pair of eye that can look deep into my eyes and say I can listen to your heart.  When I am in distress I need an arm that can wrap me around to say everything will be alright.  When I want to cry I need a pair of palms to burry my face into it and wet those hands.  When I am tired I need a shoulder that could hold my head to sleep.   I want to be a priority in someone’s life, just one.  I need a heart that could love me back when I have nothing to offer; when I am empty and blank” He said.

His guardian angel moved near by and wiped his tear to say “don't cry”.

No, I am not crying.  I am strong enough to hold my tears.  I don't want anything in life.  I can be myself being not loved back.  I don't want anybody’s care; I don't want anybody’s affection.  I will be completely fine though people talk only when they want to talk, I will be happy even when I am the least priority in their life” tears rolled down from his eyes.  His guardian angel held his hands to ask him to look at her.   No, get the hell out of here, I don't need anybody to listen to my pain” he shouted.   She held him in her arms, he weep aloud.  Cry, my dear, it is the only holy water that could put the pangs out from your heart, cry” she said holding him in his arms.  

He knelt down hurting his knees and wept… and slept…

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