Dreamy..

crtsy : google images

I closed my eyes, not to sleep but to avoid all the lights of the reality, not to drown in slumber but to kill the solitude that kills. And then she woke me up. I opened my eyes on her palms.  She asked me space in my bed near my head for her to sit.  I moved she sat.  Her hand caressed my hair, I looked into her eyes.  I moved to her thigh to feel the warmth of her body and closed my eyes.  She lifted my head and placed it on her lap.  I turned and buried my head in her lap.  Where were you these many days, I asked.  She didn’t reply. Get up, she said.  I sat without parting from her for I do not want to miss the warmth of her.  She touched my hand and I fell on her shoulder, she leaned on my head.  She has put her hand around my shoulders; my eye lashes stopped all the evaporating pangs from heart and my eyes poured it out as tears.  She kissed my head and I wrapped my hands around her waist to cry on her bosom.  I could feel her flesh, I could feel my lust, I could feel her love, more than that I could feel and hear a heart beating for me.  The room was silent; my mind was silent, only my ears and eyes were working.  More the closer I was to her bosom louder the sound of her beats I could hear and more the tears I bear.  I tightened my wrap to get into her and disappear in to the sound of her heart beat she did the same to make me feel the love of her.  She wrapped her hands around my neck and lied like a mother taking her baby back inside her womb.  Could not the light stop coming into this earth, could not the time stop and never start, and the angel of death send me an invite for the moment is enough for the life.  She succumbed to me and I surrendered to her. She didn’t allow me to move and I do not want to move an inch. I was all over her to feel the warmth of her body and soul.  You know, she whispered, we were one soul some centuries back, you have been cut off from me and you left me as half.  I was listening.  She continued, now the time has come for get together as one soul and bring another soul to this world.  She kissed me on my head.   We were a planet in this universe and an asteroid stuck to separate us, now let us find a dead star that sucks us into it to get lost and get together. I didn’t move, I didn’t sleep, she was in my arms all night and I was in her.  The dawn broke, lights peeped and I opened my eyes to see her disappear.  I turned my back to the bed to look at the roof and asked where you are, my dream?

Let the song not end

courtesy: i.pinimg.com

I don't want that song to end.  In the dark night, in the moon lit terrace, in the chillness of the winter, between the stars, it is just us and nobody else; let the song not end. And there was a candle burning between us, for me to see the face of the moon of my world in yellow light.  I moved my fingers to touch your fingers; you were looking down in shy brighter than the candle light. You moved your hairs that were hiding your cheeks behind your soft ear lobes to make it to sleep.  But it won’t obey just like you. The warmth of your palms comforting my hands was putting the chillness out; let the song not end. I moved my chair next to you, you moved closer. You have put your fingers between mine, I asked you to close your eyes to feel the song.  You leaned over my shoulder with your eyes closed and the song continued. I whispered my breath on your head and you warmed me with your breath over my shoulder.  The song continued and the clutch of fingers tightened with our eyes closed.  And… I kissed your hand… you came closer blocking the air to separate us.  The lyrics moved between us, the music kindled the romance with the essence of the night and the fragrance of the candle light. The song stopped; I played it again for I want not the mood to end, the night to end and… you to leave me. I moved between your ear, hair and your neck. You got up to move, I held your hand to stop you move and… and I pulled you to me to sit on my lap.  We sat with our nose over nose, forehead over forehead, your arms around me and my hands wrapping your hip.  The moon hid behind the cloud in shy. The chillness disappeared, the sky was warmed looking at us and was sweating – drizzling.  The song continued, a drizzle dropped between the nose to make it slip and our lips met. 

Let the song not end, let the dawn not come, let it rain all night, you warm me up all through out my life…

Sleep My Sweetheart!!!

Sleep my sweetheart!

I know, the sleep has not touched you tonight,

You stay awake and still you wish everyone a good night.

You alone don't own all the pains of this world.

You will understand everything revolves around a reason when you grow old. 

Life takes its toll it is not an easy stroll.

Everything has its own time the divine is not a fool.

Sleep my sweet heart, sleep…

There is an angel for sleep,

Call your guardian angel when you weep. 

The hands of the angel will caress your forehead to keep you calm, and

Pamper you in her palm.

Sweetheart!

It’s time for you to sleep!

It’s time for you to sleep!

Close your eyes and listen to your heart,

Its songs are very short.

Listen to the flow of the wind,

The pain you are going through is not the end.

Every dark night ends with a bright light,

Till then enjoy the moons shine,

Sweetheart, sooner you will be fine,

Sleep my sweetheart!

I recite a lullaby for you to sleep,

All your sorrows will take a quantum leap.

Time heals everything,

Happiness! In others we are searching.

Not one thing I say, my sweetheart, is new,

Everything I recite you already knew.

Relax your hands, relax your wants.

Relax your legs, relax your egos,

Relax your head, relax your sorrow shroud.

Let life take its time to end all its mime.

Till then,

Sleep my sweetheart!

Sleep!

Sleep!

Sleep!

Good night!

State of Solitude...

courtesy : theplaidzebra.com

I read a book at one shot, without closing and no use of bookmarks, without food.  After I read I wrote a review.  Then I search if any movie has been made out of it; oh yes!  There was one that came out two decades back. I downloaded it and watched – not a good idea though.  Still the earth has not turned her back to the Sun; the moon has not shown up in the fire sprinkled sky. I have lot of time left to close my eyes I mean… to sleep.  I thought of disturbing all my companions – my books collection.  The strange habit of folding the tip of the page to remember some word or something of very important helps sometimes; I pluck out books at random and read those pages with folded tips and tried to remember why I folded it.  Bizarre, I have folded some pages to remember someone who I know I will forget. Enough of books for the day, I thought and moved the unread pile to a side and returned the read books to not to their own place.  I kept it at random place.

I searched for another time killer; found my smart phone; I was smart until I got one.  There are many different applications with hell a lot of usages.  I remember I downloaded a game in which I can shoot somebody and gain points, years back I furiously played it because I could not do it in real time.  These days there were not even such people in my life. I opened the messenger app and read all old conversations of which some I wanted to preserve and few I preserve but makes me think I shouldn’t have such conversations at all; to hell with it.  I closed the messenger and flipped through the photos; old and new.  I am still in solitude.  I entered the trap – the internet – the social networking.  Good thing about this social networking is I could visit somebody who I could not see in person and the bad thing about it is after I see I wanted to see them in person.  To hell with it too, I carefully threw my phone on the bed and sat crossed legged.

The room was silent like grave; don't ask me how many times I have been in grave. I thought about arranging the room so that it looks little tidy but then I decided against it as I may not find the book I want if I put everything in order.  When it is clumsy it was easy to search because it will be clumsy before and after search.  I looked around; all the switches were on, the light, fan, phone charger without phone, laptop charger without laptop, even the printer was awake waiting for something to print.  I suddenly remember that I felt thirsty sometime back.  I looked around for my water bottle which I have emptied sometime during the voracious book read.  I walked to kitchen and filled the bottle with water.  I walked back to the room and sipped the bottle little by little so that I could kill sometime and feel good about hydrating my body.

It was an early dusk.  Winter takes its toll to darken the earth early than usual. I arranged three pillows to my back and leaned over waiting for something to happen, may be a phone call, may be a message, or at least the fan over my head to fall over my head – nothing happened.  I closed my eyes and wanted to think nothing but only when I don't want to think my memory works faster than ever like a rejuvenated engine otherwise it always hibernates. I decided that it is not a good idea to sit with my eyes closed.  A mild wind flew via the open window and caressed my cheeks, how many ever time I want I could write about this wind, I thought.  Along with the wind flew the mosquitoes.  To kill any living thing is a sin; I say this to myself every time an ant bites me.  Ant bites a quite rare so I spared the lives of many by blowing it away.  But when it comes to mosquitoes they put my policy under test to its high as sometimes they make me guilt of killing few – dirty tiny creatures.

I jumped out of my bed, closed my window and switched off whatever switch I could find and walked out of my room.  In few seconds I was in the terrace.  There was enough space to walk, enough space from outside world to talk to self.  The sky was ill lit as the moon was only half. Horizon was filled with vertical cigars because of which the billions of stars I saw when I was a toddler became millions. Inflation has hit the sky!!  I wished I could see a asteroid, so far I have seen only three and I waited for the fourth.  Nothing happened in the sky, I was quite and empty just like my eyes.  I turned to the sound of firework that blasted in the sky and decorated the place; man does anything for tiny pleasures, I thought. And then I saw that, for which I waited for long time – an asteroid.  It took only four seconds it flew into our atmosphere and disappeared.  How beautiful the life of asteroid! Get attracted by a woman like earth, love like a fire when you near and finally disappear in her, I thought. 

All that I got from my solitude is words that I have not spoken but write.  Happy is just a word when somebody asks how you are, but to know it is only a word to hide all other words I do not want to speak is painful.  It is not easy to stay in solitude and that to when given no option.   Long live the solitude. 

The One For Me...

….the one for me will look into my eyes with little shy.  When I look deep into her eyes her pupil will dilate which is enough to assimilate.   My heart will whisper its beats in my ears; my silence will say ‘I am all yours’.  There is no room for fears, I will say, when I fall is the time for your tears. When her hand shivers for being alone with me; my touch should stop all her quivers. When my voice stumbles her words will come for help before I crumble.  When there exist no words for lips it will be the time for our fingers; in each others’ it slips. Though the want to hold her in my arms exceeds, the dogma of love succeeds.  The naughty wind plays with her hair and I will put it back behind her ear.  Her thoughts will fly around the life’s beginning and mine will wander for our off springs; did I make it a plural – may be divine’s will. 

Don't be expect in culinary, I will say, for I might miss the romance in the kitchen, for you might know me not that I will eat anything with your fingers. Don't be healthy all the time, I will say, for you might miss the warmth of my arms all night long.  Don't come before me when I am angry, I will say, for I might throw my anger on you.  If you ask me what else to do; come from behind and embrace; let’s get twined.

Bored of pillows since I needed one, I will say, allow me to sleep in your lap once in a while for a nap. Don't leave me alone for a long time, I would say, for my cheeks may go saline. Never I understood anybody right, I would say, look everything from my eyesight.  I may look like grown up, I confess, but never have I felt like it really helped.  Take me in your palms, I promise; your words will be my psalms.  Pamper me in your arms, mesmerize me with your charms, be mine forever and let me leave you never.

…the one for me, you may be in some part of this world, may be a minute away; for now it is not a great distance but once you become only for me forget the word ‘distance’ for it might shake my persistence.  How do I say my love to someone I have not seen!  But when I see you, you are the all I mean.

Vale in agony...

Eyes of both were closed.  He sat holding her, like a stem holding the rose, behind her.  She sat leaning over him, her back over his chest.  It was drizzling outside with mild wind rattling the windows. “Don’t you want to feel it?” she asked. He said “I want…” There eyes remained closed for the reality might get into them.  She pulled his hand and placed it over her bare abdomen. “Your gift…” she said.  Her skin was soft, fresh and cold. He surfed over her abdomen up and down. The softness killed him internally.  Not the first time he felt the softness but it always feels like the first time. He moved his body to and fro to cradle her still with his hand over her abdomen. “Don't sway… you will miss it…” she said. He surfed all over her abdomen but he still missed it.  She grabbed his hands and moved slowly, slowly and slowly.  The skin felt even softer than he ever felt. She stopped moving his hands at moment, at a particular point. “Could you…?” She asked.  He didn’t reply.  He was deep in trance to make him one with her body and soul. He was in deep tranquillity; an inner peace.  His fast beating heart slowed down, the mind was out of fear and was clear.  He felt it. He felt the pulse. He felt the heartbeat; the second heart she carried inside her. The trance was deeper now.  He could imagine how the face would be, how the hands and legs would be.  He could imagine how she would smile – yeah he wanted it to be a girl. He could imagine… he could imagine…

“Could you?” she asked.  “I am with her…” he continued “my girl… my blood and soul…” words stumbled out from his mouth. “…don't say that” she stopped him.  The next hour went in silence. She adjusted herself in his chest, turned to kiss him in his neck. He replied with a smooch over her cheeks, lips and neck and…

His hands were still caressing his offspring.  She grabbed his hand again and tried to move it away.  He hesitated. “It’s time…” He took his hands away.

She got up and so him.  She looked into his eyes and said “this one hour is all I could give you…” He didn’t say anything. “You know… she has to go…” she said touching her abdomen. Tears rolled down her cheeks.  He hugged her and cried.  “Life is all mystery, puzzle…” she said.  “No… we made it so” He replied.

In a week his dream was dissolved. His blood was dissolved in her blood. 

Crazy creation!

In The Rain...

He stood watching the rain from his French window. There was no sun, no moon, and no stars.  It was the birth of the night with the fumes of clouds all around has hidden the sky. He stood watching the rain, drop by drop.  He then decided to step out into the down pour, to taste the elixir from the heaven.  She stood there with her arms open to the world in the down pour.  He walked to her from behind, stood close to her leaving no space for the air to pass through.  Water dilutes all the adhesives but between them the rain acted as an adhesive.  The chillness around froze them together and the warmth of their bodies played the roles of magnet, attracting opposite poles.  He ran his nose over her hair; there was a unique fragrance she holds. He buried his head in her hair in the confusion whether the fragrance is hers’ or the rains’ or the blend of the both.  She didn’t utter a word, neither he.  The rain slowed down to drizzles.  She stood leaning back on him with her eyes closed. A drop of rain ran from her forehead and stopped on the tip of her nose.  The light from the street lamp lit the rain drop on the nose tip to illuminate it. Drenched in the rain and lulled by the breeze the adhesive was stronger now. She turned and hugged him.  She could hear his heart beat.  She was safer in his arms, safe and warm.  He could feel her on his skin; he could feel her in his heart and soul.  He wished the rain doesn’t stops; he wished they both could stand still and melt in the rain to vanish in to the sky.  There was no acoustic of words, there is any silence either; they both spoke with each other in the language of love. It darkened.  The moon rose from the horizon and tried to peep between the clouds.  But, as if to safeguard the both of them from the chillness of the moon the clouds gathered again and hid them from the moon.  It was raining heavily now; more adhesives now.  There was a sudden thunder; clouds making love, the lightening lit the place bright.  He backed down and opened his eyes. 

The rain was there, the clouds were there, and her fragrance was still in his body.  She disappeared.  He stood still in the rain wanting to melt and escape from his body to find her; to find his own soul. 

Turning to you...

When I am not sure where to go, I turn to you.  I turn the pages of my memory, jump into the pond of nostalgia and drown in the days we walked together. I talk to you still because the only one who could understand me in this planet is you; sad that I am not the one for you.  It has been a decade since I saw you when my eyes are opened but you are there for me to stop the flowing tears when my eyes are closed. Not this life is meant for us to live together, smile together, and walk together. Never your smell left my skin; the only effervescent smell that makes me gets thorough all the nasty smell around me.  When I run down to abyss, the only hope to get out is your image. The aroma you left in my body, the change you made in my aura with your hug keeps me alive.  The best thing that has happened in my life was being with you and the worst is being alone without you.  Somewhere you were there in my heart in deep slumber and when I am in need of you, you wake up and give me your shoulders.  It is a pain to live without you.  I decided to search you in someone else at least bits and pieces of you. The search ends up in abyss pushing me down to the darkest place of life. And again you wake up from your slumber in my heart and walk me a decade back to the same road; the same road where we walked together hand in hand. The same umbrella you avoided once helped us to warm up later when we walked in rain. The kiss you left in the air and stuck in my skin scorches me when I was in need of one. Not one day skips without your memory.  Few said it is that memory keeping me away from life; but only I know that is the only thing keeping me alive. The solitary days we spent thinking of the days we are going to spent along, the promises I made, the promises you made, sleepless nights, seamless hugs, killing kisses were all those I kept secretly in my brain and open it when I feel like falling from the sky to the land. Never had you let me cry till you held me in your arms. I was just an infant in your hands, slept on your bosom, and felt the warm of love.  It makes me cry though it has happened a decade before. I call it happy tears because I was happy and it makes me happy even now.  Since I left you, the solitary days looked different.  I was used to be alone along with you.  I still didn’t get used to be in solitude without you. I waited for the loneliness to leave me; but it didn’t because it knows I will be left alone if it leaves me.  It is the only companion after you, like an old bookmark in the book.  Thanks for being with me both of you.

Not you...

O Dear! It is not you I wish to see, not your body, not your eyes, not your vine walking hips.  How quizzical it is to say I searched around to see you but you are not the one I wanted to see.  How malevolent it is to say that I walked behind you to see you but you are not the one I followed. To embrace your flying hair is a part of my dream but it is not you who I dreamed of. Perplexing! Like the love for the light but the hate for the warmth of the Sun, it is the warmth of keeping you around but the heat of the sun is not something to be with. You are not the Sun of my light to hate; you are not the heat to scorch my fate. You are the needle to make a hole in my heart to vent out the fumes of the burning soul. It is a search for the soul mate; may be you, may be not you but the search is always on.

The image of you is what I wanted to see; the image of you as I had in my heart.  Not every time the image in my heart matches with the real; reality is different most of the time. Those fingers that muddled with mine were that something I was searching for.  The eyes that stopped my lashes to kiss each other were that something I was looking for.  The sway of your hips that made my eyes sleep was something that made me insomniac. O dear! It is not you. The ‘you’ in my heart is different from you.

The 'You' - She is an heir of Ishtar, the kiss of the sun light on the dew drop, the blue of the sky and the sea, the chilling crescent moon and the diamond star.  O dear! It is not you.

She appeared in glittering golden wardrobe, with the walk of the sway of a vine. Holding a cup of water in hand, she blessed it with her twin wands, her lips, to make it an elixir that makes any mortal an immortal. Looking at her sweating forehead I blew my breath to chill her skin.  But I do want not those little diamond drops on her forehead to disappear.  Angels sweat; that was news for me. For the music in my mind a bunch of her hairs danced over her cheeks; hiding her beauty a little.  She draped it behind her ear.  With her touch those bunch of hairs lied behind her ear mesmerized.

In competition with the butterflies, she winked her eye lashes and thus those butterflies sat on her cheeks thinking there were two already for honey.  I am not innocent to think like a butterfly but all I see is an inverted sun-rise when she closes her eyes and an upside down sun-set when she opens.

O dear! It is certainly not you I want to see.

Who is a writer?

I am just thinking what are all my writings were and are.  And only I know those are forgotten memories, jotted allegories, sleepless nights, dreamed days, long trodden roads, mystified sins, encrypted visions, love, lust, broken relationships, unsatisfied wants, jealous, crime, pride and lack of words.  There is no reason I write, not even one, but something pulls me towards that eternal pen, wear the hat of a writer and get drenched in the falls of words.

It is all about beauty to arrange many words in order to form a sentence with no mistakes and read it out to make some sense. But that is not writing is all about, at least up to me. Mistakes are acceptable, juggled words are manageable, errors in spelling are changeable, but what makes a word or a sentence or paragraph as a writing is what the writer puts in to it. It is the special ingredient that makes the food delicious. It is the drop of poison that makes the entire body die, it is a piece of his heart, be it broken or not, that a writer adds makes it a writing.

Every word is a pain, every word is a pleasure, those are neither be created not be destroyed like energy. They just exist. Words chooses its writer, the story choose its teller.  The beauty lies in the words of the beholder.  Only the most experienced one with the life can be a writer, words are blood oozing from the scars; happens only to a writer.

If it takes hundred colors to paint a picture, it takes only one for a writer for art is words in colors and writing is colors in words.  Everything is a fiction, for a writer, everything is a fantasy be it real or virtual. He puts in the character he lives with and he lives with the character he framed.  Next to God if somebody can change the characteristics of somebody is a writer.  He changes them to have peace with them.  The character could be killed mercilessly when he no more could handle; you cannot punish the writer.

A writer is not a wild animal which gets satisfied with its stomach full.  He is cruel than those, crueler than any hunter, wilder than a man eater. Given him the poison he changes it to elixir if it tastes good for him; present him the elixir that tastes bitter he changes it to water.  A writer never completes his work, when he feels that something he wrote is complete then he will be no more a writer.

Perplexity is his attitude; solitude is his mannerism, to see the unthinkable is his style.  A writer sees the world with his third eye, the all-seeing-eye.

Enlightenment

The more I know,

The more I become silent.

Not because I am learnt, but

My mind becomes more violent.

I talk to my mind, and

Make it calm and quite.

No, there is no way to make it quite,

There is only one way, silent and fight.

All that happens are chain reactions,

There is no broken links, no broken bonds.

The Minds wants all the things it likes,

Though there are spells but we have only broken wands.

Only the body believes that there is difference,

Between one flesh and other, one skin and another.

It is far beyond our brain to realize, that

We all are of one body together.

It is better to be ignorant, better to be enlightened,

It is worse to be in between like living with a shrew.

On the verge of enlightenment, everything is false, and

At the same time everything looks to be true.

To cross the verge, may be years it takes,

May be minutes is enough.

But till that sea is crossed, like travelling

In the forest of bushes it leaves many gouges.

When it is realized, like a wiped glass from dust,

Everything is clear and bright.

There will exist no real or reality, no false or flakiness;

All that exist is true and right.

Image of the Moon...

Image courtesy : google images / http://www.mdjunction.com

…she dragged him by his hands.  He stopped and turned to see her eyes that were waiting for him to look at her.  “Where are you running?” she asked with little anger in her voice and with little expectation in her eyes.  “I… I am just going…” his words stumbled. “Do I know you? Or do you know me? Have we ever spoken?” she asked.  “No” he replied. “Did I do something to hurt you are frighten you?” she questioned.  “Not absolutely…” he replied with his still stumbling words. “Then why the… why do you walk away wherever you see me or whenever I come across you? Do I look like a demon to you?” I was a little harangue. He stood still. He could answer not though he wants to answer.  He stood as if he never exists, as if he has not been questioned. She left her hand knowing he will not answer.  She let him free, knowing it is no use in holding him back and waiting for an answer.

He came back to reality, jumped down from the moon, woke up from the dream induced anesthesia.  He looked at her in the between her eyebrows. A tiny vermilion stuck like a raising sun between the mountains.  “…because” he said “I do not want to know you”. That was pretty confusing reply which made her think for a while and make her next statement “could you please explain”.  “There is no explanation… I don't want to know anything about you… because…” his words stumbled again. “Because…?” she asked. “You are not ‘what-you-are’ for me… a princess… a humble woman… an exceptional warrior… and incarnation of Ishtar” he replied in a husky tone.

“Not a word of you I understand…” she said.  “Nobody could…” he said and continued “it has to be felt in heart. You have to listen to the beats of the heart and translate and then decipher to know its meaning. Otherwise it is just like any other sound you hear” he said. “Tell me more… tell me what I should do…” she replied.  “I have no intension in explaining it to anybody, including you… but since you have asked I think I have to… I feel like my Ishtar has come down to ask for an explanation”.  “I don't understand your Ishtar-thing… tell me if you are interested to… else… it’s up to you” she said.  “I am willing to… only if you come with me…” He said.  Thinking for a minute she said okay without asking where and when.  “Come…” he said and walked out and she followed him without questions.

“…listen to me without questions.  I could tell you only in the way I know… I am not sure if you could understand it, rightly, or not.” He said without turning to her.  She nodded. “…few things could not get into our hearts with eyes opened. So…”

“Okay, I will close my eyes…” she said.

“…I request if you could tie this handkerchief on to your eyes…” he gave her his white cotton handkerchief. She closed her eyes and opened her arms signalling ‘go ahead’.  He wrapped her eyes with that piece of cotton and said “never have I thought I would blind a goddesses for a moment” she blushed but hid it behind her lips and said “what do you mean…” in her fake angry voice. “Nothing, come lets go…” he replied.

The elevator travelled up and after half of a minute it stopped. He guided her out.  “Now we have to walk a little up in the stairs… do you mind if I hold your hands” he asked for her hands and she gave.  When the stairs ended and the floor below them became flat to walk a breeze engulfed her.  She stood mesmerized. Both of them walked a few more steps hand in hand.  Hand-in-hand, the mesmerizing breeze made them forgot that he was holding her hand. “Sit down here… and be comfortable and relaxed before I could blabber” he said.  Both of them sat down on the floor and the breeze continue to flow.

“I’m all ears…” she said.

“…it is tough to start with.  I am good at putting things in paper rather in voice.  I will try my best.

“When I saw you after years, you were in your maroon wardrobe that of a princess. The dress peculiarly made for you, exposing little of your waist, embedded with flickering stones all over the dress. You had neatly and naturally carved eye brows with a vermillion in between the brows just like what I see now.  Matching your maroon wardrobe, a tiny nose pin stood at your left side of the nose with a tiny ruby stone in it. Just like a star below the crescent moon you had twinkling dropping ear rings in diamond.  Dropping from your forehead was a jewel with an emerald embedded in it, over your bosom slept a priceless necklace in diamond stuck in gold. Above all the God has decorated you with an enchanting smile of yours.  It was about to become dark and lamps started to burn themselves.  It was not night yet, end of the horizon still had little light which could compete not with you. We stood in a temple. Like an epitome of humbleness you stood looking down at the earth and my eyes stuck to you.  You walked a little making music with you golden anklet. I wondered why your hip chain is not making any sound; I then realized that you swayed it with your hip to make it sleep. I came near you; I felt fragrance of jasmine spreading romance in air and perfuming your well combed hair.

“It became dark and the lamps glowing around the temple in dark made you glow like a diamond over the black cloth. You are of the same thin and height to my shoulders. I asked you to look at me but you shook your head. I kneeled with my one leg before you to give you a ring that I brought for you. When I showed it to you, you gave your hand to me and I put it in you ring finger. You looked in to my eyes and looked away blushing.  Your anklet sang the same song.  You stepped back two steps and said ‘please get up’.  I got up and called you to come with me. You followed me and once we came out of the temple I told you to close your eyes and you did.  After a little I stopped you and you asked me ‘why’. I said that the path is not for rose palms and I scooped you in my arms. You succumbed in my arms with your eyes closed. I walked to the place where I wanted to take you. I released you from my arms and asked you to open your eyes.  It was a garden made especially for you on the shore of the divine river. A chilled breeze engulfed us and you leaned back on me.  There is no other lamp in garden other than you; from behind I lifted your face by your chin to look at the garden above us.  It was a full moon day and the sky was clear filled with millions of stars; just like the flowers in garden and a shining moon like you. ‘I didn’t see you, I didn’t see anything matching you in the sky’ you said and I replied ‘it might be behind the moon, holding the beauty in its arms’ I said holding her by arms.

         

“We sat there with your shoulders on my chest and my hands on your hips counting the beads of your hip chain. You scratched my chest with thousand lines of poetry with your nails and finished it with a kiss.”

He stopped.  Silence prevailed for a minute. She didn’t talk anything. “Untie the kerchief” he said. Slowly she removed the cotton cloth from her eyes but didn’t open her eyes.  “Open your eyes” he said.  She opened her eyes and it was night, they both were in the terrace of the building fifteen floors above. At a good distance they could see the sea shore and a full moon rising from the horizon. “There you are, in a minute or two the moon will enter the garden and stand among the blossomed stars.”  She didn’t talk. She sat still looking at moon and the stars.

“I am a writer” he continued “I could not pick a girl for my story from heaven so I picked you from the earth.  I put myself in the place of my hero only then I could write the love of him to his beloved.  I picked you as my heroin” he said. “But what is the point of avoiding me…” she asked. “I don't know you, I don't know whether you are soft or hard, humble or egoistic, brave or a coward, but you are soft like a blooming rose and brave like scorching Sun in my story, your eyes talk the language of love.  I don't want to break that image of you with the original image that you carry.”  She didn’t reply.

“All that I told you were a part of my story I was writing… and…” he stopped.  She looked at him as if telling him to continue “I never thought something similar to that will happen today though I have not scooped you physically in my arms. You are soft and I know you are brave” He said and looked at the sky. “The moon entered the garden” she said and continued “but there is somebody else standing behind the moon, I am afraid there is no place for you.” she said as he could see the moon light entering the tiny diamond at the edge of her eyes.

         

          “I know…” he continued “but the moon is always a moon. I could hold a large mirror in front of me to see its reflection and stand behind it.” The moon entered deep inside the garden of stars and for a minute a row of clouds hid the moon. “Before the moon reappears from the cloud leave from this place and go home safely” he said. “Come let’s go” she said.  “No, I cannot come now, I want to talk with this moon today, and it was an enchanting night today with a real and image of the moon” she nodded and started walking. “I will talk with the image of the moon and will come down after sometime” he said.  She stopped for a second and left the place.

Passing Clouds

courtesy - google images

It was yet another day of waiting.  He stood in the bus stop and searched as many buses he could, he went to the railway station searched every compartment as many times he could; she was not there. He boarded his train, found a seat near the window and sat with his head on the window, eyes on the shining moon, and thoughts on her.  He closed his eyes as the train moved forward his thoughts moved backwards.

28 days back:

After a long wait he boarded his bus which was cramped with men and women.  Between the crushing and pushing, driver had a good taste of songs to play.  The music was soothing and romantic. It was raining mildly outside and the cool breeze joined hands with the music to make the cramped environment romantic.  On the way a wave of breeze entered the bus and blew her bunch of untied hair over his face. It was silky and smooth.  The rain drops wetted her hair and rejuvenated the fragrance of her hair wash; it smelled like she doesn’t use shampoos.  The aroma of naturally blend hair wash along with the smell of jasmine swept his face, swept him away.

She turned to him to catch her flying hair, to catch his breathe, and saw his face between her hair.  He looked into his eyes as did she.

“…dear drizzle that fell on me,

Where were you all these days?”

The lyrics along with the music filled the bus and his heart.  She half smiled at him and turned to the side of her own genders. Just like the lightening shattering a lone standing tree her glimpse shattered him in to pieces.  The bus moved slowly as the rain pulled all late starters from the office to road. Both of them took the tickets to the same destination; Chennai Central Railway Station.  It looked like the bus will take another couple of hours to reach the station.  She looked out of the bus for the traffic to move and he looked at her for the breeze to blow.

He kept his eyes on her and her instinct said that somebody his looking at her, she turned to him.  He didn’t expect the turn and thus startled at her glimpse.  She didn’t smile but bent her head down and half turned to the other side. 

“…look at me darling angel,

I am waiting for you eyes to throw the spear of love on me…”

He sang with the lyrics little loud for her ears to respond. She moved the hairs that ran over her ears and threw another glimpse over him to raise his heart beats in joy.  The next thirty minutes moved slower than the traffic but the wave between them was faster than the light.  Someone rose from his seat to get down giving his seat to him. He will not sit, she knew.  She will become out of focus if he sits.  He let another guy standing near to her to sit in the seat; clearing the traffic. She smiled. Just to avoid suspicious eyes on him he turned his eyes to other sides and there was a sudden break from the driver and someone has fallen over his chest.  No! It was not her; it was another girl standing next to her.  He helped her to recoup making his girl unhappy and angry.  For next five minute she didn’t turn, her face faded like an evening flower.  Now he is in a situation to get her back to the mood.  He moved next to the girl who fell on him and said “Sister, catch hold of the iron bar tightly” she replied “Okay” and his girl smiled and became okay.  Her friend who was stood at her left turned to see him since it was deliberate that a wave of love running between them.  She saw that her friend is looking at him.  “What are you seeing?” she said little firmly; he smiled. He moved from place to place in different direction to see if she is searching him.  She didn’t since her eyes followed him wherever he moved.  After two hours the bus reached the destination.   Since it was late and time for her train her friend pulled her by hand and started running.  He got down little late to see her running and turning back to see if he is coming.  He ran behind her but the crowd made it a tough task for him.  Once he reached the station a train started to move. He could not run as station was heavily crowded.  He lost her.

Today:

He opened his eyes with a layer of wetness over his lashes.  ‘Passing clouds’ he thought but sometimes passing clouds rains.  He wiped the wetness from his eyes and moved on.

Next Day:

He didn’t search, he didn’t look for her, and he has decided not to wait for her anymore. It was time for the same train that took her away from him.  The train which he supposed to board was late so he has nothing to do other than wait for the train as he has decided again to wait for her.  The train that took her away horned to start.  “No, it is of no use to search, she might have forgotten me” he said himself sitting in the waiting chair.  The train horned again. He jumped from his seat and ran to that train and started to search in the ladies compartment.  The train moved away, now taking his thoughts with it. He walked back to his seat and on the way someone pulled him by hands.  He lifted his head up and it was girl.  No, not the one he was searching.  She said something but he could not hear but he looked at the direction she showed; the other side of the platform.  His angle stood there with wet eyes. She came running to him. 

And their journey started.

Beacon Of Revolution

courtesy : touchph.com

In the hands of greedy international chunks,

My identity, my people are in funks.

To satiate the paunch of the few wealthy,

My rulers, whom we believed, are becoming filthy.

Some talk about the sacrifice for mass wellness,

Don't you know to eat human flesh is cunningness!

For the sake of science and technology

It has all become the source of aetiology

In the hands of corporate my rulers were puppets,

In the funeral of farmers and commons they blow trumpets.

They disintegrate us in the name of religions and caste,

They don't know it’s a curse they themselves cast.

It cannot be night all throughout,

The time has come to fight out.

In the stream of fast flowing blood,

Filthy germs will not be spared.

It’s a warning to the power and money hungers,

In the hands of the youth you are in danger.

Technical genocide will not be allowed,

Try and you people, in the revolution, will be swallowed.

Let’s live and let live,

Pray that humanity long lives.

#SaveNeduvasal #SaveFarmers #SaveTN

Things to laugh at

When I have no guts to cry I write something and console myself; just a try. Compromise, sacrifice, accept, and make everybody happy all these sometime works and many a times make me a hippie. Hell a lot advice when they themselves know not what is wise. In the name of God only the guilt is induced in the heart; who could guard? People believe anything could be spoken just that they have a mouth and believe just a sorry could console and soothe.  Point your finger at someone and name him a sinner. Oh my wonderful people why your brain has become so thinner; nobody is responsible for what happens to you.

What a foolishness to think only what you imagine is right and everything else is a plight.  This is a world, which is nothing but a void, holds all types of labyrinth which holds all the god particles to make us stay cloyed. But humans have created labyrinths that make us strangle and provokes wrangles.  When you put fire on someone’s roof make sure you have enough water to put off the future fire on your roof; now don't ask me proof.  We create chaos and die forgetting our off springs could become sly. What need do we have of science and technology when we do not know we are just insects to this world; understand God’s entomology.

Oh did I forget to write about love! All that we are taught is that, to each other, we owe.  We talk about peace in the world with pieces of meat in our plate.  Bloodshed is wrong; be it for crude oil or to put chicken in foil.  In everything we are distracted and halt in midway.  Being human stops within caste, secularism stops within religion, women’s empowerment stops with wardrobes, parental love stops with off springs.  In spite of all these we teach love and expect to be loved.

So many things to laugh at; just to satiate the urge to grab more that of our need, to overpower others, we play the game of love, hate, angry, happiness, sadness, war, peace, science, technology, racism, socialism, secularism, communism, caste, religion, country, money, politics, democracy, aristocracy, revolution etc.,  All rubbish stays and people who upheld these dies.  When my ancestors roamed in the forest free and naked they were hungry only in their stomach.  When they covered their body and become naked in brain they became hungry in their head; thus the chaos.

 Cutting trees and making fans makes no sense. Inducing poison to cure diseases is insane.  Provoking guilt and pouring love is nonsense.  Cursing someone knowing not the curse spelt on you is nuisance. Making money by poisoning the crops is like cutting your own genitals. Eating rubbish and longing for health is foolishness.  O! Dear fellow beings, how many things to laugh at.

Before I realized what all I gathered in my mind and body is the residue of the society I have become the residue itself.  To clean, understand and enlighten is responsibility of oneself.  God has no role to play, sprites has nothing to say, selfish love cannot stay, everyone is free to live in his or her own way, freewill is what is needed, dear humans, hell bent to society, please don't slay.