Dream...

Any dream seeded deep inside any heart gets manifested a day, before you sleep.  I have a dream, seeded deep inside my heart, waiting for its manifestation.  I was thinking, if I really have seeded it deep well! And I saw paddy crops by road side that which I passed.  A farmer was standing in the middle of his field busy weeding out something from the ground. He ploughed it, seeded the crops and patiently waited for sprouts.  Then he planted it in his field, watered it and sometimes he waited for the rain to come and sometimes for the sun to shine.

It was his dream.  And the field is like a mother baring the crops within it, farmer acts as the God or as a guardian angel.  He cannot seed or plant at a wrong season, he cannot harvest early or late, he has to maintain the amniotic – water – level; it neither has to go down its level nor go up.  The baby – crops – has to be scanned for wellness often, the weeds have to be unplugged and need fertilizer to eradicate the insects.  Patience is the key which might be painful but no pain no grain.

There comes a day for his dream to manifest, he sees grain on the crops – a well grown fetus.  He knows, soon the day will come for harvesting, the day the fetus has to be cut down from its mother.  When he does that, that is the day his dream, his goal, his reason for hard work is manifested.  This is how any dreams’ manifestation happens.

When I was passing through this field I found something unique about the crops, they were well grown and ready for harvesting.  It was drizzling like diving blessing from heaven, as if angels welcoming the crops with colorless flowers.  In spite of all blessings and contemplation from heaven, all the crops stood humbly bending their heads down.  It was teaching the humanity the divine meekness. 

‘When you have become wise and filled with knowledge, you have to be as meek as me’ says the crops literally.  ‘I will remember’ I nodded.

I stay this way...

Image Crtsy : Scoop.it

I stay this way,

With a never ending longing

And I want nothing,

With a never ending sorrow

But I care for none.

I stay this way,

Always joyous internally

Still I cry externally,

I believe in ‘nothing’

So I pray to that ‘nothing’

I stay this way,

Little lust in eyes

But love in heart,

I Appreciate colors, but

Blind when it comes to racist thoughts.

I stay this way,

I be with people but

solitude, to which I’m a pupil,

I think to write, but

All I write were not the way I think

I stay this way,

To me God is just one

The multitude of human,

For me the time exist, so that

I travel to and fro and I persist

I stay... this way...

Writer...

image from google images

It’s a cup fully filled always

From heaven some words will drop-in in some ways

Something will be spilled from the cup

Many a time emotions acts as a scoop

A writer scribbles what comes to his mind

We never mind what meaning we find

There is nothing new under the sun

But believing not to say it again is a sin

What we scribble is just not words

For many writers, they were burning wounds

No better than solitude for heart will heal

It’s always the ink acts a medicines to our soul

Sorrows are the fuel for the flame

Because on the divine plans we are lame

We always wait for a better word to come

And to the love and to the heart of readers we succumb

Shakthi

It was when all the colors of the twilight were washed away by the darkness, the lamps in the temple was lit.  The temple stood away from the town and the Goddess Shakthi stayed alone and away from the humans.  The statue of the Goddess was dressed in red and she looked gorgeous and powerful in her meditative poster.  The aroma of incense sticks and the light from the lamps fill the temple with divinity and godliness – the Shakthi.  The air was silent and peaceful.  In that peace there was a vibration which gives belief and a feel of security by a virtual hand.

image from google images

 The silent continued until a woman who was in her mid forties entered the temple shouting for help.  She looked terrified and horrified.  She reached the statue and fell down at the Goddess’s feet and cried, and cried, and cried.  The air was totally horrified.  The woman shouted at the Shakthi for help.  Shakthi sat there without any expression in her face.  The statue didn’t moved nor nothing in the air changed.  In a minute a man came walking from behind the statue.  He shook the woman crying at the Goddess’s feet at her shoulder. 

“Tell this stone to help my girl, please tell her” the woman cried and screamed at the man.

“Tell me what has happened?” the man said in his meditative voice

“Five human beasts as taken my girl to satisfy their sexual thirst, they took her in to the building next to this temple” she cried

The man saw the Goddess and took the mighty swords from the hands of the statue.  Carrying one sword in his right and another in his left he ran to the building next to the temple.  As he came out he could hear the screaming of the girl and in next minute he entered the building silently he saw four beast holding her hands and legs and another was over her trying to enter her body.  When that human beast was about to kiss her breast the sword sliced his head from the back.  The blood oozed out from the neck making other four and the girl to flabbergast.  The other four beasts moved away from the girl.  The girl pushed the body away and ran to grab her dress.  The blood was all over her breast.  When the girl was about to grab her dress, the man carrying the mighty sword screamed at her to stop.

“You are naked now, but this is not the dress which is supposed to cover your nakedness.  Now only few part of your breast is covered, hold this sword now it is up to you to cover your body, dress in red, get fully drenched in dirt before you need to be washed” said the man silently

The left out four human beasts was furious and angry on what is happening.  They shouted at this man-with-sword in angry, but he doesn’t seem to bother about them.  He bent down to the feet of the naked girl and placed the might sword that which he was carrying. 

“Close your eyes” said he “the beasts needs to be torn in to pieces, dress yourself in red” he said and touched her feats.

The naked girl opened her eyes and saw the glittering sword in moon light at her feet.  She bent down and held it in her hand.  The man with another sword went to the entrance of the building and sat in meditative position, placing the sword on his lap. 

Looking at the sword in the girl’s hand the left out beasts relaxed a bit thinking they could handle her.  The girl raised her eye brows, stood firm in her legs, raised her breast in angry, gripped the sword in her hand and stood still.  One among the four neared her to grab the sword from her. The moment he neared her, she swirled and sliced the mighty sword in air.  She missed his head but that was not her aim.  The man stood flummoxed watching his one hand cut from his body and blood oozing out.  She smiled. Before the other three could realize what was happening, she swirled again twice and made the man into two pieces cutting at his hip.  The body felt down into two pieces.  She went near the body lying down on ground and sliced the head apart and threw it to a side.   Now her breast was totally covered with the blood that spilled from the beast. 

The other three surrounded her; they need to kill her in order to escape.  The girl saw the beast rounding her with fear in their eyes.  Suddenly one among the three jumped over her to grab her.  She knelt down bending to her back slightly; exactly she placed the sword to his neck.  The sword went inside his throat and blood flowed like water over her face and body.  Looking at which the other two started to run away from her.  Throwing her saccades on the two flying away, she dragged the sword away from the dead beast and threw the sword aiming at one of the man running.  The sword flew and stuck in his head piercing his brain.  She ran and pulled the blade out from his skull and cut his neck from the behind to separate his head from the body. 

Now just one beast left.  He looked at the entrance of the building; a man was sitting with a sword on his lap, and he turned to his left; his death was waiting for him nakedly.  The girl went to the dead body of the one she tore the throat to cut his head from his head.  She took it in her hand and threw at the one alive, the one standing before her.  She was already drenched thoroughly in blood, just her feet is left uncovered.  Moving near to the last man she smiled like a Goddess.  No fear, no angry, no anxiety in her eyes.  Her eyes were sharp and her hands were strong.  The moment she went near the last man, he knelt down and bent his head to her feet and cried to spare him.  Silence prevailed for a minute.  She looked at the moon shone over her head; the light of moon was not able to penetrate her body which is now fully covered with blood.  She remembered that her foots was left out.  The moment the man relaxed a bit thinking he was spared, she raised her sword over the head and sliced his head.  The blood covered her foot.  

Now she is no more naked but covered with dirt, dirty blood.  She walked slowly towards the man in meditation and dropped the sword near him.  He took the sword from the ground and walked towards the temple.  She followed him. 

She saw her mother still holding the legs of the statue and crying.  The man placed the sword back in the hands of the statue and took the beaker containing the milk placed in front of the statue.  He poured the milk over the girl to wash out all the blood.  He lit a lamp before the girl and handed over her dress to her.  He went behind the statue and took his hammer and plumbing instruments and packed his bag.  He again came to her, knelt down and touched her feet to get blessed.  The girl stood still without emotion. 

“Now you know where the real Shakthi is” he whispered to her mother and walked out of the temple.

Insane words...

crtsy : google images

Insane were my words and deeds

But those came from deep inside my heart

God and the love are both alike

It exists everywhere but seems to be unlike

What exists everywhere?

It is God or the love behind every war

There is nothing called God

It is the ‘nothing’ which is called as the supreme lord

Deep down every heart there exists

Nothing but the God, the nothing, else how would we persist!

The divinity is the nothingness

The vast and enormous universe’s darkness

Reason for everything could be known not

Let all divine things remain unbridled knots

In between mind, reality, and the brain we fight

For wisdom to glow let us let the manifestation of grace light

On the way back from heaven to earth; words are made

Between the writer and the divine light it was a trade

Not all, words, deserve to put into form

But those are like unshaken sprouts in raging storm

Love and the poet...

There ends all my words when I start to think

I know, I belong not jut to humans but a different ilk

Like the caste and religion, to the Gods, acts as a veil

My love and sorrows is to my heart and thus I fail

I know, there is a thin line between pride and vanity

Many a times I suffer in between the line in fraternity

In harmony, love played with my hormones

I lost my love and harmony like the light of no-moon

An angel walked in the garden of my heart

But I crushed the roses and threw the thorn at her feet

She bled walking all around my garden alone for my love

It is to her, all the space in my body and my mind I owe

In the trepidation that she might lose herself

I left and hesitated her but in the expedition I lost myself

She was the first to caress and care in all my life

Held my hand for confidence and gave her bosom in all my strife

Without my knowing she was there in all my words

Her countenance followed me in my nomad treads

There exists a simple word we use called Love

In which everything succumbs that come from up above.

Dance...

Once in a magical twilight when the sun and the infinite horizon was embracing each other, between the twisted orange and fading blue you appeared colorfully.  I thought I could peep through the sky and the dark clouds and read your heart and when I break opened the air to see through it, I could see just the plain ever ending emptiness.  No, it is not the emptiness but the language of beauty written down every nook which my mortal eyes could see thru not and my wisdom, that I pity, could understand not with its cognizant.

The magic slowly winded away, the twilight merged mildly into the horizon; I saw you dancing for the music of the air and in air there spread a magnificent romance which no one other than me grabbed since my cognizant of you was centuries back.  Like the lotus opening itself on the very touch the masterful sun, you bloomed yourself with the very touch of the music and the breeze of the evening.  Like you bloomed, the conjecture in me flew flawlessly.  Like a jasmine blooming, I saw your fingers parting from the kiss of the other and your eyes dancing along with your countenance like a flower in the vine.

In the evening, when you danced the dance of love and romance, I stood spell bound hesitating neither move an inch nor a twitch; like a sojourner who found the oasis after a year long walk in the sun. You moved like a wave, showing me the sun raise in one eye and dusk in the other.  Every time your foot kissed the ground, I wished I could have born a stone.  I saw Ishtar dancing with you to get blessed from you confusing the audience on whom the goddess of love is.

Ishtar stopped me when I neared you with all her power of beauty but she forgot it’s just not the beauty pulled me towards the dancing angel but divine urge and indefinite longing of centuries.  And when I said the love goddess to move away from blocking me from satiating my longing soul, she asked me if I deserve.  I may not, may be I do not but instead dissolving in the air of life without knowing if the fire hurts or not, it is better to burn my fingers before I die.  

The music faded slowly. After throwing the flying angels in air in all directions, confusing the gods and goddess if they were the one who created this stupendous piece of beauty, and spreading romance all over my physic she stopped dancing.  Colorless flowers of her physic bloomed out from her glowing skin to make her comfort from the heat of my eyes.  The light entered on those drops and twinkled brighter than the early stars of that night.   For a moment to realize myself I closed and opened my eyes and in that few seconds I conjured images of this mortal world thus delaying to open my eyes to the light of her.  When I opened it all was darkened the divine emptiness surrounded me.  I saw her walking away in the dark glowing with her own lights.  She walked in a distance I could catch not and slowly she disappeared in the horizon. 

My love, I am waiting for the dawn, not for the light but for the twilight to come again and you to dance again.  Let it take another century for the light to come and one more century for the twilight to decorate the sky, I will wait.

Questions...

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It is just only the question remains in my mind alike everybody else and it is something that which eats my time and energy on thinking over it.  Alike everybody there were questions in my mind and just like many around, I could ignore not the questions without getting an answer plausible to it just to calm my mind down.  When I think about this, the first question comes to my mind is, what is that something I am calling it has mind?  There were technical, non-technical and spiritual answers but I am convinced not.

Every religion talks about the-somebody called God, whom I believe without my knowing, in different forms, in different terminology, with different jargons, and in different language.  When it all looked the same to me it was different to them and everybody though says God is one and there is only one, but in different forms, still they build a wall called religion around him and make His potentiality to go down.  Leaving the religion to a side, but from where came the caste and creed alike the painting on the wall of the religions.  This makes the wall waterproof.

If he is the one who created us, then he is the one who suppose to serve us, help us and protect us.  But, I was taught we need to ask for His protection through prayers and ask to Him on what I want.  If God can help only who does ask him then why should he create somebody who will not ask him.  If the final destination is just to know God, reach him then what next to do after knowing Him.

I know not any better meditation than that of a mother carrying her fetus in her body, meditating, thinking about just one thing; the well being of her unseen fetus, just like we pray to the unseen god for our well being.   Though there were mothers who lack in food suffers and there were other side where there are mothers who could not eat because they do not feel like but still have to eat for their baby.  Both looks equal suffering to me.  They were more than any Sadhus and Saints of Himalayas up to me and they stay more than any of them until they see there Gods or Goddess in hand.

Why things are not simple, why complex the process of well being.  Is reproduction the dogma of nature or the path that which lead us to God is the path of righteousness to walk on as the Yogis or Saints says?  Are the nature wrong or the Saints and Yogis against the nature?  Though there exist and conclusion that both were not wrong, which I could understand a little but I am convinced not. 

Alike everybody I am born, grown, and earning for my living.  Someday I will get married, earn for my family and children then become old before I die.  This, the routine process, mundane life of everybody, seems to me a never ending road with its starting at the ending.  When I hold questions against my belief, I could not answer why I continue to believe.  Though I could feel the presence of omnipresent force acting upon me alike on every living being on this planet, I doubt whether I feel it or it is just the imaginary part of me; a maya!

One day I may find a plausible reason for all my questions unlike any co-human beings or like Sadhus and monks who did so, and that might be the day I may go mute with the simplicity of the answer alike the great silent Gurus.

ssshhh...

…she fought with her want and her heart.  Her wants fought a good fight but her heart suppressed it most of the time.  She clenched the door knob in a dilemma to turn it open or to lock it to outrun from her emotions.  He clenched her hand and the door opened.  Her lips fluttered along with her hormones to crush her harmony.  The flittering was stronger and his clench was softer to make the damned dam crack.  The emotion she saved was like the water saved in a lake and there when it cracks a bit little on its wall the water rushes out like a wild beast.  It breaks any walls be it made out of concrete stones or hardened iron, a little crack would break all its mighty powers.  The sound of her hearts beats he listened which sounded both fear and lust.  All the laws of nature were broken.  Only when it chills down the rose buds tastes the drops of dew but the drops of dew he saw on her neck when she was burning hot.  All the laws of nature were broken.  The force of attraction was stronger which pulled him close to her and she repelled him with an urge that he should not leave her.  A godly force made them to stick together also with a little want to get separated, always the mightier force wins.  The crush in their heart played the music of love; the lust in their hormones sang the song of woe.  A mild touch of him triggered all the mighty force of woman from deep inside her heart.  A softer rose buds showered from up above all over their world.  The fragrance was sweeter to the nose, the love between them jumped taller than it could rose.  When she closed her eyes to his kiss she felt that there is no guilt because it was all part of love, divine rule to bind the hearts with the dogma of nature.  With their lust their love blended like honey and the fruits.  To make the blend a perfect fit, the honey and the fruit has to mix up, cuddle and smash with one another to make two souls to a one whole.  The world around them disappeared in the blend of the light and the dark to create a new world where there exists no one but they two.  The journey to that world was made by two and when the commutation was over there were only singularity.  To know each other deep inside them they commute to a far away world in trance drinking the elixir called lust.  Without love it was just a commutation into abyss but there were many who love to stay in abyss.  It was a never ending journey of the sojourners a fight between life and death, to kill each other to live the life of each other. Every pores emits the love, every living cell attracts the other and get destructed with each other.  The journey goes on and on and on till they lose all the love they have on one another…

Limit of God...

google.com

…I saw God’s limit.  For sure, he could go no far than what I saw.  I saw the proof of His existence, a beacon of happiness.  I saw a little miracle practicing the art of ignoring hundreds of mortals making noise with their voice.  Nothing disturbed her not even the rattling of the train.  I felt she enjoyed it like a sway of cradle.  One among the happiest minuscule life on this planet earth, I saw, sleeping in harmony on her mother’s shoulder.  I know this little miracle for quiet a period she hesitates to come to me, even after all magic, tactics, she refused to come to me when she was small than what she is now.

And once I was on my way back I heard a voice that of a little child pulled my ears to it along with my eyes, in fact attracted towards it.  I wondered and felt happy, little bit of euphoria joined my happiness; she started talking.  O! The first time I heard her talking, calling her mom.  If it is something that could wipe out the pangs of an entire day it is a seconds’ smile of a little child.  No use running behind the venerable monks to seek happiness in life, they might even show you the God and make you believe it is happiness but then your mind might ask you a question

We are here in this world because God created us and is it real that meeting him again is our final destination? What for the other things around us?

Our brains asks little tough questions but worth thinking about the answers.  If you cannot see Goddess sleeping in a sleeping child, sure, you are going to see no God around anywhere.

I saw His limit, his limit of creating beauty.  I didn’t believe, when somebody said, that humans are the most precious among the things He has created. It is true He invariably worked all His skills designing the lives in wombs and manifestation of himself in little creatures in their mothers’ hands.

When she was about to get down in her destination station, she woke up on her mother’s shoulder and looked at in to my eyes to pour milk into the throat of thirsty.  She glimpsed a while and recognized me with a smile that she saw me somewhere in her history of two years on this earth.  Yes, it was a history she creates on this earth from the day one she opened her eyes she should have been observed to cry her first cry, noted with her first smile, made her mom baffled for her reason unknown tears, put her father in euphoria with her first noise she made, her first movement, first step, first word she spoke everything was worth marking in history along with the agony and ecstasy of her mother and her father. 

Every child is born along with a new born mother and father.  And the new born mother and father stay to be new born even when their child grow up older. 

Fantastic design of Him.

Mothers...

crtsy : google images

It is a bizarre feel to express in words but I experienced it.  It was like experiencing the presence of God though many feel it but seldom believes that they have felt it.  In this materialistic climate we least feel the breeze of the life or we feel least of anything.  In a weird mood with troublesome heart I was on my way to office in an auto.   The driver was not happy with the bargain I made, also happy not with the traffic police, road and many other problem of his and I was not very different from him for even I was not happy with the bargain, not happy with my work, the life’s proceedings, etc., still the life was on his mundane way of to and fro commutation to office and home.  The traffic slow downed the commutation also my thought process.  I looked out of the auto and something enlivened me with a bright, fresh, miraculous smile.  A toddler may be of three or four years old peeped out of the auto he was travelling with his grandfather with an effulgent smile.  He wore his water bottle in his neck, a napkin pinned to his shirt’s pocket, and a tiny tie.  He smartly widened his lips and smiled at something.  O! The Gods and Goddesses have planned and smartened their skill to create such a peace of beauty.  With his little smile for not more than three or four seconds, the time he kept his head out of the auto, made me forget all my pains, forgive all my sins that I carried all along my life. No wonder why mothers suffer a lot to bring these minuscule beauties to this earth.  I hasped his smile in my heart for it was like a rain in the middle of the dessert, like a piece of bread in the draught affected land.  I felt the euphoria, a bizarre feel of happiness for what reason I do not know.  It was euphoric.  The presence of the almighty around me, I felt.  The right word to elaborate that happiness was something I miss, I know, I will not find the right words to express that feel for my life time and I am happy to miss it for it is know only by the mothers.

It was once a less than a year old baby bit my chest, my nipples, it felt awkward then but when I thought about it little later I had happy tears and felt jealous of all the mothers.  I thought of something equivalent to that for men and I found not even one.  For the first time I thought why my almighty has not created me a woman so that I would have enjoyed the Godliness of being a mother.  Many babies kissed me on my cheeks and lips to make me content for life time happiness.  But when ever I see a baby kissing his or her mother, I saw blossom of thousands of enchanting flowers in the face of the kid and the pride, in fact the vanity, of being attained the powers and beauty of Goddess of love in the face of that mother.  I felt less content and urged for more.  The social status, money, designation and what so ever a man feel like his pride is not even a fraction of its part when compared to that of being a mother.  Unbearable decibels of pain a mother suffers during her patience in labor ward but all she does is for her life long vanity which no power could erase it from her, the only meaningful vanity ever exist in this planet. 

 Worlds best poetry is of just two lines, believe me, it is the upper and lower lip of the baby that kissed me.  If I need to take another birth let me come back to this planet, my great omnipotent, as a woman for I need to drown in the vanity of being a mother.

- To the feet of all the mothers of this planet.

Unspoken...

  A musical anklet continued talking in a rhythm disturbing my sleep,  I procrastinated it for a long time vacillating to hear it but could not keep it prolonged thus it waked me up from my deep sleep and put me in a sleepy state of trance.  Acoustic of the anklet in the rhythm of heart kept sounding not very fast also slowed its pace not.  It is an unusual place which I seen not once in my dream or the somewhere I visited.  It was not an open space nor a close cabinet but a place where nightingales sang along with the anklet and fireflies lit the room with its luminescent light.  The air looked as if the Mother Nature itself has camouflaged herself in a small room for us.

 

img crtsy: tumblr.com

Everything looked magnificent except my heart and its beats.  The acoustics surround soothed my throbbing mildly but it has given not heal to a great extent.  It all seemed to be happening in a fantasy world but I learnt it is not.  She sat next to me with slight sadness in her eyes and anger in her countenance.  The beat of the anklet continued that which reminds me the day I met her.  She turned to look at my worry bound face but without giving any sign of console she turned to look straight.  She knows everything I do though she kept avoiding me to near her, though she kept me away from listening to her voice, though she kept me away from all the happenings around her, I know, she kept a eye on all that I did.  She believed me that I would go not in a different direction that of hers, divulging from the path of divine love to abyss.  And now she learnt she could not tame me to seed the saplings of relation that is suppose to last long for till I die my last death.

Leaning over my shoulder she held my hand and clenched my fingers with hers.  I was entangled in her palms and shivering to smell the fragrance of beauty that she pours on my shoulder.  The clench spoke hundreds of words in the language of silence.  I could not explain my position for I misunderstood her and took a different direction.  I heeded not to my inner voice thus loosing the peace embedded in my soul.  I listened not to my instinct so lost myself in the garden of thrones and bushes.  I could not explain her for she believed me that I wont take another road that is not of where her commutation continued.

She didn't cry nor didn't I shed any tear.  She held me close to suffice my purpose of being around in this planet for the last time.  I closed my eyes leaned over her head and she on my shoulder.  I lost my fear, I lost my agonies, and I forgave myself but asked her forgiveness with a kiss on her forehead.  She nodded in acceptance of my apology and blessed me with a kiss.  We knew never again we will meet each other not even once more in this mortal world but the moment we were together is just enough for centuries together.  Number of years matters not in love but the amount of love we show each other.  Love makes us immortal and ubiquitous, and surveil over our beloved though we are not physically present.

It pained at the same time it was euphoric.  We spoke not a word but exchanged what we want to voice.  She stood and walked, I felt the pang of separation but I do deserve not to stop her for her destination is different.  She walked managing to turn not to me.  The anklet continued to sing, the fireflies continued to emit light, I continued to watch her, she continued to walk.  We continued to love.

A letter...

img from google

My love,

Thousands and thousands of dreams I hold not in my heart, my love, they were just very few, less than my fingers could count but they were not just dreams but the igniters of my soul, the-something that makes me still live around.  The inferno of my spirit, my burning soul, rips my eye lashes and brings tears in it because of the fumes it generates, wipe it not but just lend me your shoulders.

Do not hold me when I fall down, a scar one more wont make much difference to my countenance, but be around me and say ‘just a small one’.  Don’t suffer my pain, do not take it to your heart but just fondle my wounded chest and I will rise again by your care.  I knew well that my thoughts are not a stagnant water because stagnant waters generates dangerous microbes, I love to be a fierce water fall and rush like a river and finally cuddled with the immaculate ocean of love of yours, just wait for the time for me to disappear in you. 

Do not kill your dream for me because I know it hurts more that a stabbed knife in chest than to stride out from a dream.  I can be a light in your chosen path; I can hold your hands for you to commute safely.  Try not to decipher my silence because I failed to do it to myself.  It’s in silence the God manifest himself in the human hearts, it is when we hear the voice of our soul, more than any human voice I am in need of my soul to talk, to clarify my doubts.  Hundreds of questions do trouble my thoughts, and the answers I seek not from you, my love, or in anybody I know.

Few very lines, I have, to express but the-what between the lines is all I have, to speak.  My fears are hell a lot, that which makes me to go back to my womb to close my eyes from the phantoms of failures, to close my ears to eschew hearing from the demon’s talk after the effect of defeats.  Scoop me in your palms, pamper me when I am exhausted with failures tell me that you will be there to love me till I breathe my last. 

Be the first one to celebrate, my love, in case of my success for all it is for you, a dedication for the precious and stupendous love you had had for me.  There is something, I forgot to tell you; my first dream – you.

With love.

One minute in Love...

Not so furious but as fast as it could, like a spear thrown by the hands of a warrior in a urge of war, like an arrow shot from the bow of a hidden assassinator, like a kiss of a desperate lover, like the powerful light of a thunder, the same speed of blade in mid of a battle; moving her lashes slightly up she threw a saccade on me and her eyes got stuck in the entrance of light of my body – my eye lashes.

 

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Not moving an inch from her eyes and moving not my eyes from her eyes I stared her as if looking at a sunflower bloomed in night.  Slightly I frowned when she turned away but then that doesn't put a veil to stop me peeping at her blue blend eyes.  I waited for her to turn to my side but she stooped her eyes to the edge and bowed another arrow.

Mesmerized with her sight mildly I shrugged to turn to any side.  I wondered to see the mystic mixture of love and lust in the same eyes that which emanated the light of divine energy – attraction.  Seduced by her eyes I followed her vision, at all direction she turned, hesitating to turn from her direction and putting my decorum at risk. 

Like the rays of morning sun light her brows kidnapped the glittering light from her eye balls and shined like the shadows of fire.  Every close and open of her lashes looked like the fins of a miraculous fish swimming in the deep blue see. Every kiss of the upper lash on the lower; I deciphered it has calling me close to her.  A profound meekness, proficient beauty, prolonged longing, and a divine crush I saw in those eyes that gazed me and little bit of her beauty stuck to my eyes and mixed with the lust and love I stared her like sunlight entering a drizzle and making the air colorful; making my soul beautiful.

In a minute of time thousand lines of poetry it chanted that of the force of gravity towards the opposite poll.  The source of attraction between is though unknown it felt like drinking a mug of legacy wine from the lake of miracle.  Malevolent it felt a little but the benevolence that those eyes spoke soothed the heat of guilt and blessed the heart which is little tilt. Thousands of lines it spelt the poem of beauty thus to prove that when stuck in the force of attraction and seduction there exist no space or time.

Even a word I dared to spoke not but there existed a conversation of days and months; a graceful communication and a hearty soul commutation.  Laws of nature are strange that makes us feel those are malicious on human souls but the moments like these make me feel those are acts of gracious omnipotent, act of divine presence in the lust and crush.  Only when the presence of spiritual flame is felt it burns the guilt that is held.

In a split second I closed and opened my eyes to burn the guilt, she disappeared in the air… she disappeared in the air… I smiled.

Create happiness...

A divine man who attained the stage of deathless body, the one who became the gracious light, the God himself, said to pray for the entire world and thus one’s requirement is fulfilled in it. 

No surprise why Siddhartha became Buddha while he started searching a reason for his existence and found human agonies and sufferings. 

 

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I was sitting in the place where generation new is brought in to this world and was made to cry – a gynecologist’s nursing home.

When I were in search of love to suffice my burning soul rotten in my mundane life and illogical happenings, I found people with unconditional love, ready to serve the Goddesses carrying the future, in many ways and in anyways.  When I was in search of new dishes to content my tongue, I found the graceful hearts, those who serve the patients, are ready to eat that I rejected to eat and ready to waste.  When I am in need to be recognized and more money than I earn, I am seeing people in need of food little more to save for the next appetite. 

I understand now what the divine man who has become the effulgent divine light has said “Pray for the world and one’s need is sufficed in it”

While I was wondering if a grownup could really turn a baby, a kid, a toddler and I walked crossing a hospital ward where a husband sitting in his chair, next to his wife, laid on her palms crying in fear and his wife, who could not get up or move because of his off-spring in her body, caressed his head whereby she is the one who suppose to cry in fear, but, though she fears she has to take care of her grown up baby too.

Not understanding the divine process of fetus growing in the amniotic into full fledged baby and comes to this world after struggle, giving pain to its mother, many amidst us worry about the worthiness of there existence.  There exists a common goal for anybody's existence in this world, the same thing which we did to our mother after birth – create happiness.

Love is not in air or in space or in vacuum, it is generated in every mother’s womb, slowly grows and formulates head, body, legs and hands along with a alarm that beats approximately seventy two times a minute – the heart – to remind us our common goal – love one another and create happiness.

We take form because of happiness, a mutual love, taken care in womb with happiness and with everybody’s love; born and created happiness.  I don’t know why we forget to continue doing the same – create happiness and spread love.

Towards the light

…towards the light, I hear a call asking me to commute towards the fathomless spirituality.  It is the light that holds everything and anything exist in this universe and the light which is the universe by itself.

There persist a light in the fire that burns the corpse and the same that burns in the heart and glows in the eyes.  It is the same light that shines in the masterful Sun which can lighten up the earth from the morning to evening and when the earth is against the nature of universe it could pull it towards it and burn it in to ashes to spread it across the universe, marking the mistake. 

It is the light that raised a question in my heart on not of where is God, I knew the presence of God, but why is God.

It’s the light that burns intensely which melts my veins that commutes blood to my brain before it’s pumped from my heart.  It is something which pulls me towards the emptiness where nothing exists but the sprite of light, the Godly power.  Light – the inception point of everything that is created in this world and the world too.  It is the light that terminates everything that needs to be destroyed in exasperation.

It is the sprite– the light - that is understood not to it’s full. It’s beyond the religion because the power of the light in every religion in a form or the other.  It is beyond any caste or creed because it’s – light – the caste which the soul of universe that created us belongs to.  It is beyond any race or color because there is no vision to the eyes to see any color without light also it is the one that which holds all the colors.

The light is where, the doubtless sprite, the soul of the universe, the power that rules the humanity, the language of unconditional love, faith which is beyond any dogma, the God, lives.

It is the light which keeps humanity alive, the fire that burns in the soul to go for a search of something that keeps us alive, the warmth of unbeatable light which engrosses the hearts to love, to spread the Godliness in this earth.  It is the supermental power that which when brought into this earth, though it exist here, make life beautiful and earth a good place for humanity to live.

I now walk towards the light praying to burn me without even leaving the ashes in the air and burn me to escape the death, feel the heat of love, the soothing warmth of God and become just not the part of this universe but the universe itself.

How much love...

Few a minutes it took to realize for him on what he did the past half hour.  As if the respiratory organs malfunctioning the air tried its best to get in and lungs suffered its best to take oxygen from it to sooth the throbbing heart not just because of what has happened but the because of the wild running towards no where the destination is.

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Not a good day to end with but when they sat next to next with no words to talk but with more than the enough love to exchange.  Both of them thought the heart of the other is traveling far in a different direction but they know not that there are no directions in love neither a road to stroll. When a metal crap was ready to transport them they got in with out any unusual disagreement.   She got down in her stop.  Though he heard the voice of her heart asking him to get down; he hesitated as the beats of his throbbing heart was louder than her soul’s voice. 

            He threw a message in to the air for all the angels in the atmosphere to tell her that he is longing for her, along with a text message from his mobile phone asking if she is safe in train.  Few minutes passed, she didn't show any light on his mobile phone.  He got into his train which physically carries into his place for him to sleep though virtually his soul travels in a different direction which is no different from of where she is. 

Subsided the patience, he rang her, she didn't pick.  She shouldn't have noticed, he thought.  Five minutes more passed he disturbed the air with his mobile phone again to reach her, she didn't pick.  The third time, fourth, fifth time, no response.  Slightly his rate of beat started rising.  His train blew horn and started moving, he dialed her number but she failed him again.  He got down from the moving train and started running, for a minute he did not know where he is running.  Little while his brain woke up and asked him, where the hell are you running?   He thought for no second and said, to her.  But where, how, what could have happened, is she is sitting in the station waiting for the train or something else, why the hell she not picking the bloody phone?  How many questions to answer but he has got no time, in a minute he wants to see her, else his heart would become dynamite to burst him in to pieces and pieces.

No time he gave his respiratory organs to inhale or exhale, dipped in the ice cubes of fear slowly his hands and legs went numb.  He ran wild to, a different, near by station to catch the train that takes her to home.  Reaching the station he saw the train in the opposite side, to catch, for which he has to take a foot over bridge.  Skipping how many steps he doesn't know, he ran like a wild beast in fear.  He got into the train and the questions started again, train horned, first place to run and search her in her station and then to the place where she got down from the bus, he decided.  I am not crying, nothing has happened, she is alright, he repeated with gray lines in his lashes. 

The phone beeped, just now in train. 

O! He got is life back.  Got down from the running train sat on the steps of the foot over bridge trying to catch his breathe.  He text-ed her of what has happened to show his angry.

As slow as possible he walked back to his station and got into his train and closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat to go over what has happened in past few minutes.  Breathing as hard as possible to sooth his throbbing heart he wiped his tears from the sides of his eyes, knowing not if it’s happy tears or out of fears.

The phone beeped again, why did you do that?

Because…because I am mad on you, he replied. 

Closer you are to me...

Closer you are to me, freezing the air is to me but the warmth of your love makes me stay alive with the blood frozen.  Like the finger that unconsciously shift the place from one to another to press the key of a piano you play the music of love with my nerves to pull me near to your lips and stop me before I kiss.  Never had I thought the solitude will pierce me into pieces and when I missed you next to me the chill breeze blew me away into to the space like the dust that has stuck on the life’s wall. 

I never melted down with your croon but disappeared in the space where silence is the only language love is the only force of attraction.  You woke me up from the ashes and poured me into the glass of wine and I drowned in love.

When the moon shone and threw the light on you when you walked along with me with fathomless distance of next-to-me-without-a-touch, I realized I am a lunatic, enough crazy to just watch you staying with me.   When your lips spells something unrelated to you and me, your eyes calls me to come near and take you in my arms, scoop you and walk away from this earth to a place where we and we alone could cherish, the place where you seldom wither to hold my hand and walk along.

I am bored of being young; faster, let’s grow old for I want to cherish the joy of being in your warm bosom when the cold winter wind makes me shiver.  You ate all my words and left me with just one word to pronounce – your name.

When I talk whatever I feel you heed it and put me in limbo, did I make any sense or not.  You never speak out that you feel in words but your withering fingers, shivering cheeks, glittering lips and spearing eyes talks a thousand unspoken love in the language of shy. You hide everything behind you skin and blush when I say ‘I am mad about you’.  Like spores that fly and land in another flower your thoughts from, I don’t know where, somewhere dropped in my heart and grown a tree.

The vertical limit for me to reach in love with you is higher than the sky; I could persevere but the horizontal limit which is less than an inch seems to be thousand sky’s distance.   I go wild when I miss you and get mesmerized in a split second when you spell my name.  When I said don’t leave me, though knowing it just for hours is the separation, you stayed with me to come along where ever I take you.

If you want me to live come along I can show you the paradise and if you want to leave me… if you want leave me… okay, it's tough but leave me alone right away.

With you...

…will lift you in my arms, walk long, with your eyes on me all along, in a place were no mortals exist but trees feathers its soft offspring’s over us as if to bless, you will sit in my lap and my palms over you hip.  You will close your eyes in shy rest your head on my shoulder and make me fly. 

When I play the lyre with-no-string with my finger over your hip you will sing for it in my ears and move your body like petal blooming out from its node.  And when I suffice my lips on your cheek the thousandth time you, in my ear, will whisper one more time.

When we are closer like the sea and the blue, you will shrug love with a hug closer than the god and an atheist.  ‘I feel a great distance’ when I say you will clutch your arms over my neck to pierce my chest.

They sky will shower its shadow over us when I am deep in your clutch and you in my arms; we will neither sleep nor stay awake.  O! Who could understand the state of trance that exist between the lust and crush like a thin twine stronger then iron.  When I breathe in your hug and you breathe in my neck; we will allow no air between us neither the light of crescent moon.

It is not embrace nor caress but the language of love only we could heed to live the life of two in one.  It is not the water caressing the fire to put it out but the river flowing in to the sea to convert itself to cloud in the sky to get together.  I will see you with closed eyes and you will listen to my words with closed lips. 

When to get apart, who has to decide!  It’s not you or me but our soul which has commuted into a different body in a confusion who is me and who is you.  We will neither sleep not move a bit until the sun warms our soul to clear its perplexity to find who is who and get back to its original body.  Though it’s a sin to get apart but it has to be committed for the mortal beings will pull their eyes out of the head and throw it like a stone to hurt us…  love is written in the language of nature you can heed but understand not.

Leave me alone...

…it's just that word which stuck in my throat stops the other words to get out and it’s when something stuck in throat it tears down the eye lashes and brings down the lyrics of love in its colorless ink.  Won’t I get a day to say what I wish for her to heed?  If it is my silence is to be blamed it is not me who created it, it’s the God and a deity.

I wish I get a day alone, alone with my torments along the side of a river under a tree in a shining full moon night, light sadly little bright.  Leave me alone for I wish I should cry all night till the sun shines and wash my eyes in the moving water of the river.  Leave me alone but with a little ink and some papers for it has accompanied me when everything left me alone, and it is something which I understood and when I cried it cried and made itself wet with my drops of tears.

I sing to the music of the space, the universe and write for God to read and change something which he could do that he wrote in my account.  If I am to be blamed for my mourning silence then let me live my life all alone with me and my silence that the divine soul as decided for me to do.  I still search, foolishly, medicine for the scars as if it is new wounds but not my mistake, scars pains too.  It’s not when you touch, the place that bleeds, it pains but when you take your hands out. 

Tears are not just liquid to touch and test its viscosity, it’s the mixture of days you missed to live, words you wanted to speak, something you are holding on to say, residue of heart, sweat of brain and cleanser of eyes for us to watch the lights. 

I don’t know what exactly, something that hooks up a chord of my heart, stings the vain and stops the blood that carries life cells to brain and makes me think with the beating heart.  And when brain wakes up it teaches that hearts are not capable to think and brain is no capable to love.

Not just one time but hundred times in a split second I thought to spell my heart with my vocal cord but what stops me from doing so, I don’t know.  I never prayed for somebody to heed my silence and listen to my eyes but to leave me alone in my abyss in ink dark night so that nobody watches me cry.  I stay in peace, but it torments me as if it came after bloody war.  I stay in peace alike the planet which I live and planets like each other in the space given to them to roam in this universe.

Sometimes, even I am in need of a hand to embrace my hair, shake and say ‘I am there’, pull me down to lap and say ‘shed all your worries here’.  When I search for one, I found I am stuck in my past and falling down into ashes like a phoenix when it is greedy for so much of light in the air.   I am greedy for love, burning in the furnace of life with the tormented soul that my almighty gifted me for my birth….

Leave me alone, I understand my silence and my silence me.  

Leave me alone…