Where the hell am I heading!
Why do I follow my gut feel which many a time punctures my vanity.
Why the hell I follow her madly like a beast following the whiff and when her look really makes me a beast but still my bloody subconscious say ‘that is fine’ you have one life to live and live with whom you love and like. Why am I thinking! What will happen if this sucks! Do I deserve her? Do I well deserve her?
Why I insanely wait for her hours long for a few seconds of her fragrance? Does she deserve that time?
Oh what a non-sense question! If I think that she doesn’t deserve my time why the hell should I roam in the street to find her out without even knowing her, without even knowing address, without even knowing, where I am heading?
I’m not competing with her. I’m not competing with her time, life, vanity. Why should she come into my life? My melancholy gave me tears and not fears, I was sad but happy but what is this feel I hold now?
For a long time why did I avoid her not to see, not to attire, not think. And why that Yuck dream has come, a morning, in which I saw her just talking to another guy and bloody why am I so possessive about somebody I kept avoiding?
Why did I spoke to myself ‘I like her’ and why did I run to a girl on the road that looked like her and escaped an eve teasing case! Does she really looked like my girl or is that was my stupid imagination or my stupidity?
And it’s ridiculous, why did I write ‘my girl’
Is that my imagination! Who is that one bowed next to me inside the temple and when I stunned, got disappeared in fraction of a second and oiled my flame? - bloody imagination.
Why my heart ponders when she is around! What will happen to the name I gained, I guess I gained though not sure. Oh Gosh! What is there to lose, just one life.
What are all these sleepless nights? No happiness, no sadness, lot of madness, lot of longings.
I am running out of emotions. Why did she not respond properly? am I that bad? Does she know that I am crazy; yeah many know I am crazy but does she know that I am crazy about her. Why does life showed her to me just to break all my pride and vanities?
Hell a lot of questions? Why I am I searching somebody to answer all these questions? Why I’m I not talking to her?
Do I lack Courage? I know I do not, but then what is that stops. Do I really longing for Love or for her or for her love?
Questions, questions, questions why these many questions arises?
My dear! Enjoy the vanity. You have made mad a guy who was tough and still tough.