Monday, December 26, 2011

A Journey, to God's Own Country..

Once upon a time, long long ago, so long ago many things happened, do not bother those things! But it was in 2009: six months after my breakup, I planned my travel to Trivandrum.
Gosh! Slip of the mind; let me correct myself, it's up after a break of six months; I planned my travel to Trivandrum since I got a job there.  I got a job there because I badly need to get out of Chennai else my nostalgia would have jeopardized me and screwed my 'something' which lies between my right and left ears.  Oh ya! Right, my Brain!
Hmm! Bad old days.
It was a Diwali day; I have to leave to Trivandrum to join my new job.  With no expectations, no goals, I got into Trivandrum Express.  Some sort of melancholy occupied me which drove me back to the day I left to Hyderabad for my first job; she came to my home with some fake reason and made my eyes wet with her tears saying "come back soon" (Which I cannot tell her now) and again waited for me in Chennai station to see and I faked my Mom and Dad, as if I went to get them platform tickets and went to see her where she as hiding near the ticket counter,  came back after few minutes caring her in my arms, virtually. 
Hmm! Good old days.

Trivandrum Express was about to start and everybody of my relatives, came to see me, me getting back to my journey, sighed by and my Mom shed few drops of tears but I don't want to tell her 'I badly need to stay away from all of you, only then I can go with my life'.  Train started, I went and sat in my seat.  I saw a pretty girl sitting opposite to me.  She wore blue jeans, white tops, tiny ear rings and a pair of shiny gold bangles.  She was fare and beautiful to attract any bloody with her awesomeness.  Yeah! Fair and awesome; opposite to me.  I tried to move my legs to accommodate myself in my seat and mistakenly dashed her leg with mine, so I said "sorry".  She didn't react.  She turned to her mother sitting next to her, busy talking with her husband, and 'husband' nodding his head as if he could do only that much. Usual right!!?. Her mother didn't turn to her so she again shifted her saccades to her right straining her watching the fast moving panorama, outside the train.  I watched her for few seconds unknowingly and she didn't dare even to turn her head to me but her presence created a pleasant and dramatic ambience soothing my melancholy.

I took out my old mobile phone from my bag and immersed my super computer into a terrific nostalgia reading memorable messages she had sent me during my first Hyderabad travel.  Slowly my hippocampus rejuvenate to recollect whatever I had had done to my life and my life to me.  I wanted to throw out all my memories out of the train along with the mobile phone, but, which I still carry.  I closed my eyes to stop memory over flow out of my eyes.

I heard a soft voice in Malayalam asking for water (No, not the Dam water).  I opened my eyes to look at her, she got up and trembled to walk in the moving train so I offered my hand to her to catch hold but she didn't care about me and walked out.  She came back in a minute I kept looking at her for few continuous seconds this time knowingly.  She saw me starring, she leaned on her mother and whispered something in her ears but her mother kept screwing her husband rigorously and didn't hear hear whatever her daughter whispered.  She turned away from her mother angrily.  I could sense she was angry and the same time frightened.  I thought I would not stare at her at least to make her comfort.

Hours slipped slowly;
It seemed driver finally looked into his watch and train speeded obliging Indian railways norms of promised 80km/hr (not sure on the exact data, sorry, please bare my knowledge).  She felt tried of being angry and turned to me at last, I half-smiled at her.  She didn't reciprocate but downed her head not to look at me.  'Girl' of her kind was always in my dreams.

It darkened and chillness grew respecting the November.  Her presence created some warmness in heart but I don't know occultism to transfer that heat to my body.  I shivered; I knew I grew weak in my six months home work.  Home work!! Yeah, ' wake up, eat late breakfast, watch television, eat very late lunch, watch television, never step out of the home, drink tea, watch television, dinner, sit still till 2 o' clock and fall asleep'.

I had my dinner in my upper birth and cleaned up the place and made my bed.  Looked at her to seek a glance at least from her before I sleep, but she was what she was.

I was sound asleep and suddenly I heard noises and voices, so I got down from my birth and saw a strange guy was standing and one of my co-passengers shouting at him in Sanskrit kind of language.  I tried understanding what the hell they spoke but every word went above my head in air in my sleep deprivation and that's why my co-passengers Malayalam seemed to be Sanskrit at midnight.  The air grew serious, many gathered. I asked my co-passenger "what's the matter?" who kept arguing with the stranger.

"This Scoundrel, sat next to a girl and tried to remove her shawl of the Salwar, who was sleeping three cabins away from us" screamed my co-passenger.

Suddenly the stranger went wild and aroused as if he wants to hurt the passenger who screamed at him.  Reacting immediately, I neared him and caught him tight.  Thank God my brain worked, in reflection.  He was not that strong and also smaller than me so he could not resist me. 

From the dark end of the compartment, a tall, gigantic guy came up and stood next to me, I freed the Stanger since he wasn't resisting.  The tall guy gave a strange look strangely and suddenly gave him a hot blow in his right cheek.  Stanger flew hitting the door and returned back to his position faintly.  Everybody around was shocked, I saw a strong swelling near the left eye of the Stanger, well deserved.

"Now, can someone tell me, what he did?" asked the tall guy to the air.

"Bloody! You slapped him without knowing the reason!" I thought.  I could only think those questions not ask; he looked gigantic.

No police, no TTR turned for a long time even after hearing all our noise, so people decided to throw the guy out of the train.  Hey wait! Before you file a case against me under section 303, let me let tell you what is 'throw the guy out of the train', train stopped in the next station and we pulled him out of the compartment.

I went back to my birth, slept well.

Dawn broke; I got up and come down to sit but was in hibernation mood.  Looked out of the window, a name board in the station read "KARUNAGAPALLI" meaning "Land of Black Cobras", sorry for that bad translation but that's all what my brain told me looking at name board in its hibernation mode.
 "Hmm! It's a wild start of the day" I thought.

"Patharam, Patharam" a loud voice screamed from the corner of the compartment alarmed me adding throatiness to the wildness for the start of the day.  All I know is "Patharam" means 'carfull' or 'be alert' or 'be alarmed' in Tamil.  I could not guess why the guy shouting, no screming "Patharam".  Finally he approached me and
"Patharam sir?" shouted in a humble voice with Newspapers in his hand.

"Damned! ‘Patharam’ means Newspaper in Malayalam, It seems my learning’s started even before I reached” I thought

Oh ya! I looked out for that pretty girl, she came down from her birth and sat next to me and asked her mother "Why all were shouting in midnight?".  I understood her Malayalam question since I could find some Tamil words blessed inside Malayalam.

"Nothing" replied her mother.

"A Thief entered into the train last night,
he planned to snatch the gold chains from girls,
and I fought with him,
threw him away from the train" I briefer her in my Malayalam.  Ya, Ya I spoke Malayalam; Tamil mixed with English.
"Oh! Really! So nice of you" she replied in her lovely soft voice and leaned on my lap.
"What are you studying?"
"First 'C' Uncle.  What are you studying?"
"I don't like to study dear" I laughed and kissed her.  She wiped her cheeks with her mother's sari immediately after my kiss.
Within an hour train reached Trivandrum Central station.

I started my Journey.

- Imedneo; that's for now i had, to write.-

Ouch! Did I write 'Imedneo'!  And are you wondering what the hell 'Imedneo' means?
Believe me, it means, it’s quarter to 2.00 AM and I'm dam sleepy.

- I'm done; that's for now I had, to write.-

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


It was yet another evening, at 0900pm, I started from my work station to railway station, almost frustrated with the lack of time for my personal work If you are/were not an software professional 0900pm might not be evening for you but for us, yes, it's evening most of the time. 

Many says, IT geeks spend a lot, wander around in mall's, hang out in theaters, waste time in coffee shops, for no reason drive for a long distance.  For all of those folks let me clarify something, we are in search of peace of mind and some happiness or a place for vent. Fine, let not get into philosophical details of IT life or at least it all depends on individuals.  

I took an auto to reach my station, by the way, my friend waited for me, on the way so we planned that He will wait near an hotel and we will go along.  Before I reached him, I called him to tell I would be there in 5mins. When auto stopped near the hotel to pick him, "can we get 0945 train, if we start at 0930 from the hotel in an auto?" asked my friend.

            He ordered some tummy builder for him and I picked two, three spoons from his plate since a roasted chicken filled my tummy near my office, a 5mins back I hired that auto. During the time we ate the talk a small, cute kid, a boy, ran crossing us and he was playing around the hotel without bothering anybody.  When his father caught his hand to drag him to the chair, the boy jumped to his father's finger to byte.  “I guess his father ate all his chicken” giggled my friend. 

            The Kid escaped himself from his father and walked crossing me, I took him in my arms and asked him what he wants, he didn’t reply anything but turned his head and showed the fridge next to my chair.  I didn’t understand him but my Meta-cognizant told me he want something from that fridge.  He jumped from my arms and ran to the fridge, opened it and took a Pepsi 250 ml bottle and walked towards me.  A supplier stopped him to take away the bottle from him; I jumped in to stop him from taking the bottle from my kid. The kid smiled at me.  
            Oh! Did I say "My Kid"?  I know how much stupidity to say that, but that’s how I felt when I took him in my arms.  The kid, my cute boy, came to with the Pepsi in his hand.  I took him again in my arms. He smiled at me with lots of love. I could understand the love he developed on me within minutes. 
            I tried to scratch my hippocampus to compare something with the smile, my bloody memory could not find anything as such but something I could suddenly remember was the smile of my ex-girl when she said yes to me.  Ouch! Did I say "ex-", gosh! It’s just an interjection. 
            Supplier interrupted us again to get to bottle to open the cork; my sweet refused to give him the bottle and started crying.  I got the bottle from him and gave it that to the supplier and said loudly "Open it and bring it soon ", so that my sweet heart will continue loving me. Sometimes, we need to do this to retain Love. Supplier brought the bottle back opened and my sweet refused to get it from him so I got it from the supplier and hand it to him. Next few minutes he sat on the table with me and suddenly got down and ran to his mom and showed her the bottle and inserted the bottle in his mouth and tilted it upside down to drink it, Pepsi level got decreased from the bottle and when he brought the bottle to its old position the level was back to original to make me and my friend to smile.  His mother finished her food and his father paid the bill to start.

            By this time I was into a different discussion with my friend.  My sweet came running from outside the hotel to me and stood next to me.  I bent down to ask him what!  He grabbed my shoulder and kissed my right cheek, he turned my face and kissed my left check and downed my head to kiss me in my forehead and ran back to her mom.  She lifted him and he layed on her shoulder, looked at me and waved his hand to say "ta ta".  My God what a moment, what a kind of vent it was.  Wetness of his kiss had put all the fire out from my mind which was burning for years. 

            My Sweet's kiss, he kept It Short and Simple.  Oh ya! That’s what I was taught about mantra for effective communication and now I learnt even love follows the same. This sweet moment dragged me back 2 to 3 years when me and my girl discussed about our children, first a girl baby and a boy from an orphanage. Oops did I missed "ex-", could be because of mixed feelings.         

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Where is Teresa?

Where is Teresa?

"why this idiot starts this way" might be what you will be thinking, if you continue reading from here. Whatever, firstly let me say, Hi!

The day we got to know about death, we started thinking about our last day, literally counting out stay in this small tilted sphere. But, when it comes to the materials we do not even think that we are just temporary in this world.  We earn hard for wealthy life and spend it for healthy life.  Since that I write I am not a exception.  I know it's good to confess few things before you question at this text characters.

Ok! Before I divert the topic let me come to the point.  Reading the title "Where is Teresa?" you might answer "She is dead" or "She is in Heaven" or "She is in this world as a Holy Sprite" for which few might counter saying there is nothing called "Holy" and few, there is nothing like "Sprite".  I know I'm not in the topic here, also putting myself into trouble. Fine! back to the point "Where is Teresa?" --

    It was one late night, I started from office after enough rest to all my physical part to earn some cholesterol in body.  Cholesterol I meant here is the fat, please do not understand something literally. Back to the scene, I reached bus stop and as-usual its crowd less in the late night so that i was able to identify my college senior, also a good friend of mine in the bus stop.  We started talking about some old stuffs as soon as we got a bus and meanwhile we reached our railway station, so we stopped the topic in the middle and we ran to catch the train so that we can "Train the Talk".

    We got into the train which was already late to start by five minutes.  We were in the first class compartment. Aha! Nothing to brag about the "first class" here or at-least it has got nothing special in the suburban trains. Before we continued our conversation I saw a man sleeping in on full seat.  I called him to check whether he was in right train or didn't get down from the train.  He didn't respond.  I went near to him, saw, he was old, so I called him loudly to make sure he's alive as he covered himself with his white cloth.  He didn't respond.  I got down from the compartment to check for help, I saw a beautiful lady police walking.  I know it's little weird to talk about the beauty of the police here but still, let me tell you, I'm not old but an average "gentleman".  I called her to and requested her to get somebody who can help that old man.  That beautiful lady in-turn called a smart guy, a constable.  With that guy two more of his friends joined him and got into the compartment to wake him up.  The old man lying tried hard to get up after hearing screaming voice of the constable but jerked quickly from the seat the next moment he felt the lathi on him.

    Old man, was bleeding his legs badly.  Does not looked like a cut but like some disease.  He got up but couldn't walk so he sat on the floor and spread blood all over the compartment, police mans' refused to touch him.  They tried hard to get him down by his own but they cannot understand his pain also his language.

    I know the language he spoke was certainly not Hindi, since I know Hindi, I mean if somebody talks in Hindi, I can identify that they spoke Hindi.  To add, I know Malayalam too.

    back to scene, It was too late for the train to start, so they gave up getting the old man down as soon as the train started and they got down.  It was very, very, very awkward to sit in that compartment as the blood smelt drastically bad.  I never smelt such an smell in my life time.

    My head switched to vibration mode not only out of the smell but also out of the guilt that I disturbed the old man without knowing he was not well and calling police will make it worse, beauty some times make us guilt isn't it!
    "Hey what happened!!", my friend inquired me after looking at me sitting with my hands holding my forehead and eyes closed. I couldn't even open my eyes to see the old man and his wound which continued bleeding.  I'm not that bad to ignore somebody asking me help but he didn't ask anything but some place to rest.

    Train stopped in the next station.  An elderly guy got in and saw this old man who now trying to get back to his rest.  As soon as the elderly guy went near to the old man peoples sitting next to me shouted to pull him out of the compartment.  Even I had that in a corner of my mind, after all I am one among the rational animal.  But I kept my moral and kept quiet.  I turned from the old man and closed my eyes and nose.

    Suddenly I heard slapping sound.  When I turned back to see what the hell was happening! I saw the elderly guy trying to pull him down from the seat with few slaps.  "OMG! This nasty guy is raising my guilt level" I thought and now its the old man's turn to raise my guilt level higher, yes, he caught the legs of the elderly guy and begging for some rest as he could not bare with the slap and the pain his wounded legs gave him.  This turned the elderly guy soft and he announced "Please bare, I will get him down, next station"
    He touched, lifted him up to the seat, god ! I could not do or at-least I could not stare at the wound for a minute which was badly damaged and bleeding.  Thank God I didn't faint.

    I asked my friend whether we can get down and go to the next compartment, which would help the old man to be left in peace from crowd or at-least would help me better to inhale some fresh air which I was stopping with my kerchief for a long time.  My friend agreed and hearing the conversation everybody came to the same agreement and we all got down leaving that small partition of that compartment(first class) empty for that old man and got in to the next compartment.

    After getting int, I want to put everything in text, somewhere as a record.  I logged into facebook in my mobile and updated my status " just now I felt it,  How tough its to be Mother Teresa".  I didn't get better words to paraphrase my feel, guilt et cetra, et cetra..

    Each one of them is Jesus in disguise. - Mother Teresa
    Train reached my station, I got down and walked to first class to check the status of that old man who was sleeping in the peaceful compartment and walked with heavy heart, home.  "Mother bless me, pardon me if it's a sin I committed"

    Okies! I am done.  Now, tell me Where is Teresa?

Saturday, October 8, 2011


It’s an arts and science college, far away from the Chennai city where no much crowd expected in the road but in college, well not quite in classrooms.   Prasana joined M.Sc Mathematics in that college after clearing all his back-lacks of his under graduation, after his under graduation.  First day in M.Sc Mathematics in such remote college did created no interest in Prasana with respect to studies as he cannot create it himself even in higher grade colleges too.  Week later Prasana gathered few matching friends.  They roamed around the college, visited classrooms, sometimes visited their own class room sessions too and whenever they were sitting in the classroom session there would be some problems always by the professors; in the black board and in class room by our Prasana.  
Once a chewed bubble gum flew from the back bench and got stuck in the hairs of the lady professor who was in middle of lecture.  She took the bubble gum from her hair with a paper and dropped it in the basket but didn’t react much. “I don’t eat chewed one, because it’s a bad habit also contagious, so give me a new one if you have” said the professor and turned to black board to continue her lecture.  In another few seconds a new bubble gum flew hitting her back.  Prasana smiled at her when she turned.  Professor bent down and picked the bubble gum, smiled and paused for a minute.  Entire classroom was in shock, students never saw her tensed or annoyed but what has happened was very serious.
“Childish behavior, but don’t be too childish we have restrooms in our college” said the professor, entire class broke into laugh except Prasana.  Ladies are cleaver, we know or at least I experienced and lady professors should be cleverest.  For quite a long time after the bubble gum incident Prasana was not found in her sessions but once Prasana was found sitting her session.  When she saw him she asked him to sit in the first bench and she started her lecture this time she has no work with black board so she was explaining something looking at the students.  Professor stopped her lecture in 5 minutes she started, making students to wonder why.  Reason, she found Prasana had an eye on her long necklace in fact not on the necklace.  “Prasana, wouldn’t this necklace suite your mother?” asked the professor.  Prasana stood looked around and left the class and his friends followed him in seconds.  She continued her class once he left and pretended as if nothing has happened.
Professors are half psychologists up to me, they could find out what their students think when they are around them.  Also could guess what students reads in their mind in the class when they where inside.  We call them as ladders that lift us high in life for no personal or financial reason and stay where they are.
It was a students strike to change the bad canteen in the college, group of activist started breaking the glasses and canteen materials.  Strike became very big and when the same lady professor came down from her department to talk to the students, Prasana got a chance to throw a stone at her and she was rushed to hospital.  Prasana continued to encourage his friends breaking lab equipments, computer monitors, class room benches et cetera.
Prasana became big problem to the entire college as he became older and older to the campus.  All-collage staffs met the principal to take some control action on Prasana and his friends to stop their stunts inside college.  Mohan has joined the day when all staffs met the principal so he was made to sit among them and made listen to the problems they spoke.  Mohan was ten years old as a professor in Mathematics and worked in two different colleges before joining this college.  After the meeting was over Mohan spoke to the principal saying he can talk to those problematic students.
Very next day of his joining he arranged for a meeting with all those problematic students in college conference hall.  Prasana had no interest in that meeting alike his friends.  They listened to Mohan very carefully carefree to let Mohan know they are less bothered about him, still Mohan tried convincing the problematic’s, but he failed.  The same day in the evening Prasana and his friends waited for Mohan to reach the near by railway station.  They cornered Mohan immediately when he reached railway station.  Prasana looked into Mohan’s eye and next moment he slapped Mohan continuously for a minute.  “I should not see you any more in the college” screamed Prasana at Mohan and left the station. Next day after the railway station attack, Mohan came very late to college discussed about the incident happened in the railway station with the principal.  Principal felt sorry for him and offered him to quite and added that he could arrange for position in a different college he know but Mohan refused and told him that he want to stay their and will make his stay good also refused any police compliant offered by the principal.
Mohan went to his seat; no other professors were in seat.  Mohan called his office assistant and told him to call Prasana to his seat.  Office assistant searched for Prasana in canteen, lawn and parking but finally found him in classroom and conveyed the message.  Prasana went to Mohan stood carelessly.  Mohan told him that he would be resigning from the college soon and paused.  Prasana didn’t react.  Mohan stood walked around Prasana talking about life, his past experience and students he met in his experience.  Prasana was totally carefree about Mohan’s speech.  Mohan suddenly stopped walking around him and called the securities.  Prasana wondered what was happening! He had no idea why securities were called.  Two securities came running.  Mohan told the securities to check him thoroughly since he found the smell of brown sugar/kanja from Prasana.   Securities checked him and found a tiny packet bundle which was white in color from his back pocket.  Mohan opened the packet and smelled it and screamed “brown sugar, call the police immediately let this guy be in jail for 14 years”.  Prasana was stunned and frozen in fear, started crying “sir, no sir, I don’t know how it came it to my pocket.  I don’t use brown sugar and all, please sir show mercy on me, sorry for beating you sir”.   Mohan didn’t show him any mercy and shouted to call police.  “I wouldn’t do any mischievous here after sir please sir” cried Prasana catching Mohan’s legs.  “Ok, get up I should not get any mischievous news about you in college and anywhere where your presence is their” said Mohan.  Prasana accepted for the agreement, wiped his tears and walked back to his class room.   After that day Prasana and his friends became no problem to the college. 
Principal got to know that Prasana and friends were no more a problem after he Mohan met Prasana personally.  Principal called Mohan to his office
“did he really carried brown sugar?” asked Principal,
 “No sir” replied Mohan
“But what was that packet with white powder, How it came into his pocket?” wondered Principal
“It’s my Ponds powder which I brought from my home sir” said Mohan in very low voice “and please don’t share this with anybody” continued Mohan making principal to laugh loudly.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Words not spoken…

He waited for her to come; it’s a food-court good in length but sucked in breadth.  She came, crossed him like a breeze and sat in a chair along with her two friends.  He wants to talk to her for the first time and also the last time.  So far he didn't get a chance to talk to her even for once as she is always accompanied by somebody or some bloody.  Hard to find a girl like her, may be she is not a dream girl kind but she is something special for him.  He walked towards her even that was the first time he walked towards her as most of the times she walks away from him.  He was not sure whether she knows that she occupied him, doesn't needs worry as that was going to be the last few words to her.

               Men look tough but internally not, it may be wrong with few but he like to be tough because he’s week enough internally.  Each step towards her rolled his memory back.  The first site, when he accidentally sat in the same table for lunch with her, that’s the day made his walk towards her.  Very normal attire, smoothie voice, noiseless smile, zero gravity on peoples surrounding, cautious on somebody staring at her, simply; angel in disguise that’s she.   He was never impressed by somebody in first site but she finally broke that record also got stuck in his chord even after his turn-around time. 

Though his walk was very slow but his brain pressed rewind button to reach its fastest.  The day when food-court hunters are very low and he sat in opposite direction to her table for a coffee. She was playing with the water bottle on the table childishly, deeply interested in some gossips with her friends and suddenly turned to him to see, he starring at her for quite sometime.  She has a habit of playing with her gold chain in her neck it with her lip and that’s the scene he looks out for, cutting the gold with rose buds. 
Moment when lift opened she was standing outside the lift, awestruck our guy.  No words to exchange, no question to ask, in next few seconds lift started closing.  He ruffled to find a way to stop the door closing but his brain was somewhere else out of his reach, either she didn’t come in or he went out.  As the lift went down his heart beats went up and his soul stayed still in the same floor where he saw her.  Chance missed but the eyes spoke to her “this moment made me numb”.  When eyes speak vocal chord shifts place, OMG that’s love.

Valentines Day; when he is expecting her in at least in white but she turned his day dusky with dusky attire.  He was not sure whether she knows what that represents her on Valentines Day.  Still she looked angle in disguise to him.  Love is crazy.

When you’re in love everything looks special, world looks happy along with you, makes you dance as if you are the only one in this world in love.  It was a day when everybody around was enjoying the day with chill breeze in sea shore and dusky lights joined the time to make it romantic.   His eyes searched her always though she was out of his sight only once in few minutes.  She walked in a neat path away from him after quite long steps she turned back to look at him, he is not sure whether she tried looking at him or she was looking for him.  The very next day in the same food-court when they met, she looked at his eyes for five seconds which made him frozen.  He forgets to remember that he came to take food and ended up messing his lunch pouring sweet in rice.

He almost reached her, his heart beats rose to its high giving mild pain in his chest, legs went out of sync.  “I’m goanna miss you, before that I want to talk to you.  I don’t have something to impress you also I am not goanna impress you.  Many a moments you swept me off completely, made me stumble for hours together with your few seconds of your saccades on me.  Miss you.  Best of life’s” he recollected what he planned to talk.

He reached her, stood exactly feet before her chair.  Immediately she stood from her chair in shock, she tumbled and sat back in her chair.  She looked his eyes, also he. 
He lost all his energy as if he ran miles without breathing and kneel-downed before her as he cannot stand that was a complete surrender.  His breathes troubled him, he closed his eyes, his mind said “you are goanna miss her, you are goanna miss her, you are goanna miss her”, tears dropped from his eyes closed. He bent downed and buried his face in her lap.  That’s the moment, he felt relieved from all pains of life, complete relief from external world.  He cried, cried and cried to dissolve all his love he had had in his heart.  She touched his head, softness of her lap and her touch gave him courage to die then and their.  Hundred percentage relaxation, hundred percentage sadness mixed to form a cumulative percentage of feel, love! That was a bloody Mathematics.  She leaned on his head, what else could give a man life time happiness.   What is world without women and life without such moments!  Oops, they didn’t realize it a food-court, everybody was in shock around them.  She was the first one to realize that there was many pair of eyes to watch the pair of approximation.  She withdrew back from him, stood from the chair, without looking at him she started walking towards the door and went out.  He forced himself to get out of what has happened for few seconds.  He stood wiping his eyes walked towards the wash basin to wash his face, words not spoken were still not spoken and will stay still…..

I closed tap and came back to bed, clock ticked 01:30 AM midnight I wiped the water with my bed sheet and lay downed to get back to sleep….

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Letter to an Angel

Age; when my saccades took wing like buffer fly and I felt like flying in the sky, my angel! you grabbed my hand, took me high to show the virtual me.
When I was deep in my dreamland we flew down to earth, dived in to the sea. You showed me colors of the fish on our way and colorful fishes by the way.  Few big fishes which looked dangerous, appeared ridiculous, but couldn’t with stand before your wand and the strength in me given by your holding hand.  Felt life is joy, angel my angel only I enjoy.
Angel, what have you don’t to me!
 Deeper and deeper into the sea, view which no one could see. I forgot who I am and why I I’m. It was too chill in water, angel with me, so it doesn’t matter.
Enough in word gym, I really forgot that I don’t know to swim. Deep inside the sea pressure rose, deeper! it’s worse.
I shouted in dark deep sea that I couldn’t handle this much pressure built from all direction I know and directions which I don’t even wanted to be known, but angel, you could not hear as only angels could speak in ocean.  Now it was like being in hell, still angel, you looked Angel’. 
Before I exhaust you felt I lost all my energy for living.  You had thrown me from deep sea to hot shore, made me sulk “life is no more”.
You know after which it’s others chance to hold my hand now.  
Life rotten me in hot sun, dropped me in oil boiling and made me swim.  Everything were in mess, screwed all my happiness. Going got tough and tough got going.  I have nothing left to spare in life, except life.  Lost all my hope cannot even imagine to cope. 
Angel, what have you done to me?
Days were under pressure, pressure and pressure.  
Know what? Now I learnt how to swim, how to handle pressure, how to earn treasure.  Coped back, stepped into a new life after learning what I had was just a part and not entire life.
I know everything is just a matter of memories and living cells which hold all the traumas.  If I lose all those there is nothing called sorrows.  But who is willing to lose all the memories, at least never I.   Angel, everybody should have seen you in life few manage to manage you, many manage to live with you and few like me get sucked.
Oh! Angel, you left all the memories wet in my eyes, you’re still an angel.  I owe, please don’t dare to come before me in rest of my life, though my human pals named you “Love”.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Funny World!

Few day-to-day incidents which get stuck in our hippocampus really make us laugh when we retrieve.  Here are few of, from my hippocampus.
It was an usual off-time for train towards Chennai Central suburban station, two stations before suburban terminal train stopped for a long time, generally it use to because of the traffic created by the container lorries in the railway gate. Very close to the railway gate there is a mobile service shop. A stranger entered the shop and gave his mobile for service. The shop keeper asked him whether he need to get the train which is in station waiting for the gate to be closed, the stranger replied yes.
“O! Then go fast I might take 5 to 10 min to repair this” said the shop keeper.
“No problem” replied the stranger.
“No man, you have to go, any time gate might get closed and train will go”
“Please don’t worry, I can manage. Make it fast”
“If you are ready to catch the next train, I will make this ready for you”
“No no. You do it fast”
“Hey, train will start once this traffic is cleared”
“Come on! I can start the train only after traffic is cleared” Said the Stranger.
OMG! My bulb took few seconds to glow to identify the stranger and can’t stop laughing listening to this incident from my fellow passenger. This is how our railways make comedy with us in our route.

Recently I hired an auto to Chennai Central station from my office. Auto stopped in a nearby petrol bunk which took 15 min of time to fill petrol since it was a day immediately after Indian oil industries got their appraisals. We both started talking about IPL matches and became close.  After 15 min we started and continued our discussion on Indian economy he doesn’t even know what it is; alike me. He narrated me an incident which he met with. 
Once my Auto-driver friend was asked by a north Indian passenger to get him dropped in Ramachandra Hospital from Chennai Central station, for which he told him it’s around 30-32kms so it will cost Rs. 600.
“Even the call taxis’ fare the same, what difference it makes!” said the passenger from North India.
“Ok! I offer you 30 min of free waiting time, which call taxi will not do” my auto driver friend said.
The passenger was not convinced, he moved out of the auto a few inches off and suddenly
“Hey! You cheat” screamed the passenger
“What” my friend replied surprised.
“it’s just 16kms from here, look at this” shouted the passenger showing his mobile phone in which he browsed in Google map to find the distance from Chennai central to Ramachandra hospital.
No words to reply for my friend.  “I No Read” replied my friend to the passenger and left that place.
Meanwhile we reached my destination. I gave him the charge and a pat-on-back to say bye-bye.
World around us is so funny and humorous but we don’t laugh that’s the funny thing. 
I do visit a temple every Saturday which makes me feel better and I have a mindset that 10-15 min of prayer recharges me for the next one-week of my life; ok, that’s a different story.  It was one another Saturday after my prayer I went around to collect kumkhum placed in a vessel which looks like a tiny suite case with small spherical holes.  I saw an elderly mother and her daughter trying to take kumkhum out of the case for very long time.  I went near to them collected mine and thought of moving from them without disturbing their hard trials. I found they were trying very hard to take it out since we consider kumkhum as very auspicious chemical.  Since I do it every Saturday I know the  technique to take it out easily so I told them that I will help, I took few quantity from the case, elderly mother said “can you take some more, my daughter stays very long from Chennai”. “Ok“, I replied and took a some more and offered her, she called her daughter
“Get it from this guys hands, you should not refuse kumkhum if somebody offers you and pray for you husbands good health”, said that elderly mother. I gave them a smile to move from there.
Guess what would be my next action; I closed my eyes for a very sincere prayer “OMG, please give her husband a good health, at least till she gets kumkhum from somebody’s hands”. Then I decided, I would better teach how to take the kumkhum out of that case anyone who tries to do so then offering from my hand. For the first time I thought “auspicious things are ridiculous”.
This is something I read from a book “Know Can Do”.  It was a reception of service center wherein calls differ in flavor from very good customers to very worst customers and also in their words.  Once phone rang and receptionist answered “Hello” after third ring.  Voice from the other side sounded worst, he was an angry customer screamed “What the hell company and what the yuck service you offer”
“James! Is that’s you?” replied the receptionist
“James! Is that’s you?” replied the receptionist again
“What? I am not James.  Why do ask?” replied the angry customer now in bit lower voice
“O! I am sorry you scream like my ex-husband James” receptionist said.
“Hmm. I am sorry buddy I have a problem, can you solve it for me” said the angry customer, now in a soothing voice. 
This was an example given to customer handling.  The book is all about management and how to win by doing what we know.

I have one more from a book by a spiritual guru. 
A man got up from his a week long coma, found his wife crying next to him and praying for his good health. He called his wife,
“You were with me when I lost millions in my business,
You were with me when with me with I fell sick and was hospitalized for a month long,
You were with me felled down and broke my legs”
“That’s Ok” said his wife holding his hands tight
“You were with me this time when I met with an accident and I went to a week long coma”, he continued.
“I am your” his wife said.
“I feel I am in trouble all the time because you're with me” replied the man who woke up from coma.
I could not stop laughing when I was reading this in train. This is how now negative filtering works.  We always search somebody to blame on all our troubles.  World is so small, we are yet another virus sent to this world. Enjoy the happiness around us and happiness with all around us. After all we are goanna stay 50-60 hard years here and let not screw it. I am not philosophical or I am not here to advise, it’s just what I feel and started believing after my 23. Yes I am just 23+ ;) believe this too.