Saturday, April 14, 2018

love under temperature

…he was reading the most poignant lines of Gibran and she walked in to the room like a child sneaking inside the kitchen. 
“…again book in your hand” she asked.
“Mmmm… yes…” he replied
She unplugged the book from her hand and threw it to the table near by.
“Hey… my hand is empty… replace the book with something else” he said
She crawled on the bed slowly to him and took his hands to his face. 
“…now take my cheeks instead of that book” she said
He got up to sit and held her face in his hands and said “…what is more beautiful and lovely in this world than your face, my love” he whispered
“Really…” she giggled
“Yes… I could read hundred books in few days, but I will take a life time to finish reading your face.  The language of your eyes, the signs of your brows, the fables that your smile tells, the love that your wink conveys… Oh! How much more; just one life is not enough to read all that love you have for me” he said.
“…not very impressive… try something else…” she giggled
“I have got nothing to impress you; all I have got is me to give you.  My totality everything I have in my life I owe you… you cannot give me happiness because you are my happiness, so you have to give you to me” he replied
“…Mmmmhmmm…. You asked for kiss!” she asked
“I don't want…  all I want is just stay in my arms, whenever I read come and put your face in my hands, look at me and say that you love me”  he said with little tears in eyes.
“Close your eyes, baby” she said and crawled little more and kissed his forehead. The tears rolled down from his eyes.  She wiped it and kissed him in his cheeks.  She could feel the temperature in his skin.  “Baby, you have got temperature…” she said
“hmmm… a little” he replied
“No, it is not a little it is burning hot, baby”
“It is okay, just stay with me little closer… caress my hair, say you are there…” he murmured
“You need medicines…” she replied
“No, you have already given me…on my forehead… that will heal all my pangs” he murmured again.
“Don't be stupid, wait I will bring tablets” she said and got up to move.
“No, please.  It is burning hot.  Please stay closer…” he said and pulled her towards him.  She sat on the bed and he rested his head on her lap.
“Baby, temperature will not go down by just lying down…” she screamed.
“No.  It will not go down by just lying down, but I’m on your lap the most loveable place I could go.  Even if the temperature is not going to get down and it is going to burn me into ashes let it do, allow me to sleep my last sleep on your lap” he murmured in temperature.
“Will you shut up, baby. Where will I go if you are not there for me” she turned her face with a fake anger.
He grabbed her hand and placed it on his cheek “don't worry I will not leave you in peace and leave this world… you have promises to fulfil”
“…what?” she asked
“Our offspring… my boy…” he said
“…now sleep you are not well…” she replied
“I am well in your arms… good in your lap… won’t you keep your promise up?” he asked
“I will… sleep now…”
“When I am normal I don't really talk what I feel for you, I sometimes miss you even when you sit next to me.  But now, the hangover that this temperature is giving me is pulling all those words I was holding for you… that is why I don't want to take medicines… I want to vent out all the love I was holding for you all these days…” he murmured as the temperature rose.
“Baby, keep quiet and sleep…” she said.
There was no response.  He slept holding her hand over his eyes. She remembered him saying that her hands blinded him from the entire world.

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Demon in distress

…he woke up in the midnight; no, he didn’t sleep still.  He walked down the road like a demon in distress.  The empty night didn’t give him fear for he was ready even to die. The wind was heavy, the street lights were bright.  He felt that it will be good without lights, it will be better without the sadist moon in the sky.  Every step he strolled he could hear his heart beats in his ears for the entire town was sleeping.

He knew, even his last drop of tear would not bring any answer to him from her.  He knew, the excess of love he pours is thrown into the sewage.  Life will get better someday, he believed.  His love will be answered and reciprocated, he trusted.

As he walked with wet eyes and thoughts that hindered his ears there was a call from the behind.  A lady in white, bright in the night, surrounded with light.  She might be the devil in disguise, he thought.  No” she said listening to his inner voice, “I am your guardian angel” she continued.  He has gone insane as a result of insomnia, he thought.  No, you are all sane” his guardian angel said and continued “come let’s take a walk”.

What is happening with you? Why are you alone walking the road that takes you nowhere?” she asked. 

I feel incomplete, I feel incapable for love” he replied. 
She smiled.
If you are going to get out of this planet after our talk, why don't you take me with you for all through out my life I had only one companion – the solitude  he said.
Dear, I have no advice to give you, I came down to listen to you for you stopped talking with yourself too” She said.
I don't have anything to talk; I expect nothing, not even love.  It is better to be in solitude as nobody is hurt and nobody is going to hurt me” He replied.
You cannot stay in this planet expecting nothing.  Tell me what is paining your heart, what is that you want?  She asked.
He walked in silence; she walked with him to listen. 
I need many things that life could give me not so far.  When I walk I need a hand to hold my palms to say I am walking along.  When sit in silence I need a pair of eye that can look deep into my eyes and say I can listen to your heart.  When I am in distress I need an arm that can wrap me around to say everything will be alright.  When I want to cry I need a pair of palms to burry my face into it and wet those hands.  When I am tired I need a shoulder that could hold my head to sleep.   I want to be a priority in someone’s life, just one.  I need a heart that could love me back when I have nothing to offer; when I am empty and blank” He said.

His guardian angel moved near by and wiped his tear to say “don't cry”.

No, I am not crying.  I am strong enough to hold my tears.  I don't want anything in life.  I can be myself being not loved back.  I don't want anybody’s care; I don't want anybody’s affection.  I will be completely fine though people talk only when they want to talk, I will be happy even when I am the least priority in their life” tears rolled down from his eyes.  His guardian angel held his hands to ask him to look at her.   No, get the hell out of here, I don't need anybody to listen to my pain” he shouted.   She held him in her arms, he weep aloud.  Cry, my dear, it is the only holy water that could put the pangs out from your heart, cry” she said holding him in his arms.  

He knelt down hurting his knees and wept… and slept…

night cry

What am I doing? I was thinking in the night with the darkness embracing the might.  There were stars all over the sky and one moon to shine.  The cold wind of the night caressed me from head to toe. In the silence I realized I am my own foe. 
I closed my eyes to darken the darkness, closed my ears to stop hearing my own heart's cry.  I slipped from the tip of the terrace; fell down in abyss to open my eyes in the land of flowers; yellow, green, white and red; a garden full of flowers and trees.  At a distance I saw a lonely tree which shed all its yellow flowers on the ground and made it a bed of flowers.  I walked towards the tree, attracted by its solitariness.  Under the solitary tree I saw her sitting with her head on her knee. Afraid to near her I walked slowly to sit by her.  She lifted her head to see me and smile.  I have a tear in my wings she said.  I realized she was an angel waiting for someone to mend her wings.  I knew she was in pain, an unknown pain which I wanted to heal.  I plucked a chord out of my heart to mend her wing.  She leaned over my shoulders and said don't leave me for I might die I believed those words for there were pain and agony in her voice.  She flew from the place and I waited for her to return, quite sometime after a very long wait she came back with few more holes in her wings.  I plucked a chord from my heart to mend it.  All that I imagined was she could feel my pain of longing  and love but what I missed to realize is that she was not a normal mortal human species but an immortal angel that has wrongly fallen in the garden.  For she was not of my own genre she know not that the string that mended her wings were from a live heart and when ever it is plucked the heart endures a great pain.

She sat next to me, looked deep into my eyes and leaned over my chest.  Could you listen to my heart, my angel, that it says your name?  She woke up from my chest and said that she wanted to fly leaving me in perplexity with her answer for my question - no strings attached.  You are free to fly for I have not set up a cage for you.  I am not capable of understanding you for you don't have ears to listen to my cheap human heart.  I know she won’t talk the words I wanted to hear.  I kissed her forehead, held her cheeks and said  all I am left with my life are you but that does not stops you from flying away from me.  The moment you touched my heart is enough, the seconds you leaned on my chest is enough, I will succumb to the earth with those memories in my eyes.  Fly in joy, go around and feel this world for it is not so nice.  If you are happy with what you see, go on leave me and live. If you are wounded again and if your wings need to be mended again, come back to me for I am always ready to take you in my arms and mend your wound in wings with the strings from my heart. She didn’t reply for angels don't understand the language of mortals.  I opened my eyes for it could not hold the tears long and tight.