Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Learning Love

Bitterness, animosity what else the English names it, the feel finally ends up in washing cheeks.  Love the word widely used for centuries in stories, mails, blogs, books, speeches, etc still it hasn’t lost its glamor.  Passion of one in goodness and happiness of someone, we call it a love.  Love is a passion, an urge to revitalize the soul.  If you believe in something called Love, then you need to in soul, believe everything has a soul.  Only soul could consume the love not the tissues build up of cells and the symbol of the love or the heart.  Heart is directly connected to the divine, you do not know why it beats when you can artificially pump blood and why it stops though one cannot get your life back fixing a pace-maker to a dead.  There is something between the heart and the brain, the soul.  

Love need not be proved, reciprocated, named.  It’s above expectations, you need not expect the love in return but the expectation is the key which keeps the poles in their place, the attraction is the key.  Love is the force which keeps the earth and the other universe in their place not to dwell into the powerful sun, the divine.  

You need not prove your guts; you need not prove your courage.  People say love favors the brave, aha, love is not a war between men and women, and it’s the gravity that attracts but keeps the things in their place.  Love has nothing to do with courage in fact it better to be coward in love so that you allow the divine presence to manifest in you and allow the love to teach you to be courageous.  Do not push yourself to be courageous in love it will turn to be a self advertisement which is not of any use in love. 
You try to be courageous in love and when you slip a while in attracting the opposite sex, a feel of vengeance, courage to take revenge inhabit in your brain but not in your heart.  Hearts know only to love it is totally out of the worldly things like vengeance and anger. 
Aha, and few talks about unconditional love and only few understands what is unconditional love.  True, love is unconditional.  Forget not, expecting nothing from someone you know is a no-problem but expecting nothing from the one you love is like assessing them as if they can do their least and only little they could do to satisfy the love you have, the love they hold.  Still love is unconditional, expecting something is not love it is human nature.  Then is unconditional love?  It is something you show when you face a situation when you do not get what you expect from your beloved one’s and what is that you react to the situation shows whether you hold a unconditional love.  Do not blindly believe in unconditional love and start loving someone, and then love itself will become a burden.   You need not expect even love as a response; this too is such a situation where your beloved ones fail to meet your expectation. 

Who am I to talk about love!  If somebody could explain love in few ASCII characters then the word love itself would have not perished this long centuries and that’s the beauty of love.  Only a broken heart knows what not love is though it cannot understand what love is.  To understand what love is, love everything around you, every living being, every non living thing which helps you, and every living non living thing too.

To know what love is; learn what not love is.

I didn't turn...

The place where I uttered my first word to you, my angel, you were there today chanting your usual spells on others, I was not bound to that spell because I didn’t see the wand. The same place when I wanted the details of you existence, you crooned something which I could hear but was in a mood of trance that nothing has been registered in my virtual note but your glowing eyes with a shield and the irreplaceable crown which your wand holds.  

I was put in a situation like a mother who could feel the kick practice of the child in the womb, could feel what all happens to it but could not see its charming face though she carries her inside, though the baby is her a part of her blood, body and soul – I didn’t turn to you.  

The oscillation of my hormones and my miniature cells - not going down to the details because devil is in the detail – grabs me to turn back to look at the angel standing behind and the past in which I lived in dumps grabs me not to turn – a war between hell and the heaven.  I sat in the middle of cold water and hot larva wherein the either of will kill me and thrash me into pieces.  My eye sight went blur and the technical chaos before me went out of my mind, I was concentrating not on my technical chaos but on the spells my angel keeps chanting – the ritual of love.  

Blurred vision worsened, it has became dark and black, could it be the hell where I am killing my own soul in the burning love or the heaven where I am drinking the poison of crush.  The black turned slowly to pale blue, my fairy world which I built, for my angel and me to be by her side.  I saw her, sitting alone waiting for me; I could not see her glittering face, her broken wand because she was sitting facing not me.  I started walking towards her, she was in her lavender costume filling the air with romance and love and that was the romance which could break me in to thousands pieces of water sprinkle and that was the love which could make a holy elixir.  It started raining, the blessings from heaven, and the blessings from all the acolytes of the immortal presence.  I wondered the droplets haven’t distract my vision, and haven’t make me wet.  She turned to a side; I could see a part of my soul, a part of her face.  The Intense romance in the air hypnotized me and I want to close my eyes and cry, shed all my suffering of love in my tears so that it would disappear in the rain.  I went close to my angel in lavender, now I want to go on my knee, take her flowery foot in my hand and kiss there but I am still not close to her.  I walked close to her I went on my knee, called her by a name, she started turning to me and I felt a tap on my hand.  It was a tap by a creature of the immortal, could not blame the hands which tapped since I might never come back from my trance, my world to this materialistic world. 

I saw you, my angel walking away from me, without even uttering a spell on me, without even blessing me a saccade.  I tried to come back to normal and went back to the day when I asked your existence the same place, the same time almost.  

All that I love seldom comes near; all that I hate seldom gets lost.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Embedded wand of an Enchantress

No author chooses the title; it’s the tile that chooses its author.  Being said that - the title that has chosen me
Embedded wand of an Enchantress
Probably that was the first time I shouted a feminine name along with the crowd and the only name I liked the very first moment.  The concept of soul mate or the feminine part of my soul – I saw. ‘The powerful, light blended, vision’ I thought ‘could kill me in a second, so that the master has given it a transparent scabbard’. 
And the Wand, horizontally broken, which could croon – beautiful! Wand could croon – the spell which I heard very least but made me dwell into a fairy’s world.  Yes the fairy’s world – euphoric blue all around and my enchantress in the middle in her white lovely costume – a real fairy in the real world.  It is a wand which is honey blended, carved with immortal spells on it which need not be  spelled by the wand or the enchantress itself rather, I felt, just look at it once, more and enough to get hypnotized.  

It is a complaining wand, which I think cursed me with pure love and taught me the art of loneliness.  It was once, I was close to my enchantress, lot of spells she waved in the air but nothing had had an effect on me, know why! I didn’t listen to the spell but before that I just saw the carvings on the wand for the very first time and my eye struggled to move out of it though my heart pondered with the fear of a curse from her.  It seems, Epigraphist hiding inside me read those carving and because of that I was mesmerized or hypnotized, not sure thou, possibly I went to trance state.

That does not happen most times but once I wanted to get mesmerized with the spell of that enchanting wand.  I went near the enchantress to fake a sorry, because I used a black magic to enchant the enchantress.  That was a croon I heard, a very short spell for my life time “that’s ok” with the feminine blend.  Only I and my enchantress close to each other, but separated by lucky wooden furniture.    She blessed me with a second of blossom, wondered a wand could bloom too! That was the magical gift my enchantress gave me for my life time.   

Dear my enchantress that was for my life time, you have spelled a magical chant on me to dwell in my loneliness with you in my heart.
You do not belong to this world filled with witchcraft.  You belong to my fairy world – doors are opened always.

Being alone, dwelling in to the feel that I miss my enchantress is not a curse, my enchantress, it’s euphoria

Anybody who is, was enchanted could understand what I mean.

Saturday, April 14, 2012


These days, before I start writing something I analyze, reanalyze and think about all matrix and finally drop the plan of executing things, because, these days I am more concerned about the ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ in facebook, online comments in the blog and offline comments which I do not want to screw.  The problem is that I am afraid of negative comments; it’s the fear factor which I know will never allow me to grow.  When we need to commune with God (do not question me where is God, alike everybody I do not know) we need to equally prepare for the testing He puts on us; likewise the negative comments are the testing.  Now that I confessed I could talk my mind I feel. 

Wow! Confessions are always an awesome relief factor.

Coming to the point,

I didn’t remember how long it has been I have completely surrendered to the meditation which I had done yesterday.  It is a temple, a place where a saint, a guru, an eternal soul was buried.   These places generally gives us some peace of mind or at least will invoke silence in mind because the reason we believe the soul resting there is divine and always looks after us in astral body.  Cool breeze, peaceful ambience, no deadline for the day, no work gave me complete rest in mind.  I decided to meditate for some time.  I closed my eyes and aimed not to think anything, but immediately when I closed my eyes my favorite’s image (for whom I was not) came to mind.  I know that would put me in too deep dumps so I opened my eyes and iterated the same for many a time but failed.  Now, the wisdom I got from books showed up its pages, to close my eyes, let the mind wander where ever it likes to, calm down, listen to the heart let it speak all negative things about you, slowly it will turn to be silent and tranquil, once it completes whatever it wants to speak finally it goes numb - may be because you’re not interrupting it and listening to whatever it speaks.  We can also try this in practical life - when you keep listening to whatever the other person talks about you, at one point of time all those talking-noise turns to be silent and he cannot talk anything bad about you seeing your patience (or possibly he might think it useless to talk).

Finally I was able to concentrate, mind was empty and I was still.  I went deep into my subconscious mind to recollect what has been there, it is a dumb recorder which records everything you see, listen, read and write.  Your hippocampus sometimes won’t store few things but subconscious does that and suddenly sometimes plays back and screw you.  Okay, my subconscious retrieved all those which I screwed badly, people I came across, my favorites, my internal world, my astral world etc., but one good thing it always tells me the learning I had had from past situations.  Listening to subconscious also need to be eliminated to concentrate in meditation, I succeeded that too.  My mind was totally blind and searching for what do next.  This is the problem with my mind; whenever it goes blank it searches for what next. 
When everything went blind, a million dollar question came to my mind, what is meditation?  

Ouch, I do not know.   But I chose meditation to commune with God and the nature.  I want to talk to nature or at least the God.  I do not know how to do that, and then I found a way started speaking to the eternal pure soul resting there.  I started complaining to the pure soul what are things happened to me, to my life and things I screwed.  I started talking internally to the astral soul alike my complaining heart, every negative thing for which I cannot find solutions – I spoke to that pure soul resting.  Slowly my complaints stopped, it turned to prayers.  I prayed for everybody I knew.  For the new soul came to this world and the to those one which is goanna come to this world, I prayed for my friends – I prayed for them to get what I want them to get since I do not really know what they need, my parents, my siblings, my brothers and sister who were not born with me but still my brothers and sister, for my wonder I remembered few of my facebook friends for whom I prayed good health.  There is no end to any prayer if it has, it is not a prayer.  We need to abruptly end any prayer so that you will remember where to start the next time.  I suddenly remembered something on occultism where you can get out of your body in an astral form and could see what all you can see with your naked eyes.  I tried to do that, few visions came to my mind – lady walking in a blue saree – old women in red, praying – two kids in there frock – old man sitting next to a lady looking around and many other things I saw.  Now I need to check whether whatever I saw really exist there.  I opened my eyes, I found it was almost 30 minutes I was Psychophrenic and was totally in different world altogether. I found my eyes wet do not know reason what.  I saw a women in blue saree, but not exactly the same saree that I saw in my astral view, other than that I could not find anything else which I thought I was watching in my astral travel.  It seems a dog was sleeping next to me for a very long time. 

When my mom came after her physical astral travel ( go around the temple) came sat next to me and said ‘ a young lady came to you to give you chocolate and was calling you and waiting very long time for you to open your eyes, but you didn’t so I got the chocolate from her’.  This could be the first time in my life I didn’t give my eyes to a young lady. 

I thought for a while what am I doing for the past 30 minutes, am I meditating? Am I praying? Or I was Phychopherenic? God knows.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Are You Normal?

What question is this! ...but I have a list please check out..

List of things to do, which make people believe that you’re normal:

1. While you eat look at other how they eat and do the same way and call it a decency (No, No never lick your fingers, that is indecency, Ya I know it's your but maintain the decorum)
2. While laughing, laugh without noise because people will think you are insane
3. Thou you want to smile at somebody, do not do it, they may not smile back
4. Thou you need to go talk to somebody whom you like, do not go talk, they might think you’re bad. Never lose you fear.
5. People may insult you, you may feel bad about it, you feel like giving them a strong note but do not do it, they may not help you in FUTURE
6. You like to dress in your favorite color, but do not do it, people will criticize you
7. You want to change your job, but do not do it; the new environment might screw you.
8. You want to propose a new idea, do not do it, people may think you’re useless
9. In a conversation, you may not know what he/she is talking about, but do not ask that silly question, people will think you’re illiterate
10. If you’re in love, Please do not go propose it, he/she will not accept then your parents will not accept then society will not accept
11. Finally, Do not live your life, look around what others do and do the same, do not miss out even one single nature of you society

..because you want to be normal… and if you break any of the above rules you are ruled out of the so-called normal living.

Inspired by my favorite author, Paulo Coelho.