It is just only the question remains in my mind alike everybody else and it is something that which eats my time and energy on thinking over it. Alike everybody there were questions in my mind and just like many around, I could ignore not the questions without getting an answer plausible to it just to calm my mind down. When I think about this, the first question comes to my mind is, what is that something I am calling it has mind? There were technical, non-technical and spiritual answers but I am convinced not.
Every religion talks about the-somebody called God, whom I believe without my knowing, in different forms, in different terminology, with different jargons, and in different language. When it all looked the same to me it was different to them and everybody though says God is one and there is only one, but in different forms, still they build a wall called religion around him and make His potentiality to go down. Leaving the religion to a side, but from where came the caste and creed alike the painting on the wall of the religions. This makes the wall waterproof.
If he is the one who created us, then he is the one who suppose to serve us, help us and protect us. But, I was taught we need to ask for His protection through prayers and ask to Him on what I want. If God can help only who does ask him then why should he create somebody who will not ask him. If the final destination is just to know God, reach him then what next to do after knowing Him.
I know not any better meditation than that of a mother carrying her fetus in her body, meditating, thinking about just one thing; the well being of her unseen fetus, just like we pray to the unseen god for our well being. Though there were mothers who lack in food suffers and there were other side where there are mothers who could not eat because they do not feel like but still have to eat for their baby. Both looks equal suffering to me. They were more than any Sadhus and Saints of
Himalayas up to me and they stay more than any of them
until they see there Gods or Goddess in hand.
Why things are not simple, why complex the process of well being. Is reproduction the dogma of nature or the path that which lead us to God is the path of righteousness to walk on as the Yogis or Saints says? Are the nature wrong or the Saints and Yogis against the nature? Though there exist and conclusion that both were not wrong, which I could understand a little but I am convinced not.
Alike everybody I am born, grown, and earning for my living. Someday I will get married, earn for my family and children then become old before I die. This, the routine process, mundane life of everybody, seems to me a never ending road with its starting at the ending. When I hold questions against my belief, I could not answer why I continue to believe. Though I could feel the presence of omnipresent force acting upon me alike on every living being on this planet, I doubt whether I feel it or it is just the imaginary part of me; a maya!
One day I may find a plausible reason for all my questions unlike any co-human beings or like Sadhus and monks who did so, and that might be the day I may go mute with the simplicity of the answer alike the great silent Gurus.