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This mirage of image from the past triggered
by a similar acoustic is putting me down in the neural ravine to drown in to
the abyss of memories. And when I close
my eyes with that retrospection, all I hear is the sound of a flute in the deep
dark forest. It is scary. It is painful. I considered it has the reconciliation
of all the sins from this life, past life and the life that I don’t even know
if I lived. It was scary. The acoustic
was the same sound of the oozing blood from the torn soul that was thrown in
the street to bleed. I fear that sound. I
fear that scent of oozing blood. I fear
that the stitches in my soul could cut open to bleed again. I though only the scars from the past
remined. Those were only scar of the
blade that ran through the soul and healed.
No, those were still only the stiches holding the soul not to bleed. There was a tiny hole made today or one of
the stiches gave up leaking blood.
The nausea the oozing blood creates
was from the old life. I could manage the
tears, the cut and even the pain but what was unbearable is the same old
acoustic. It scares me to hell. It sends shudder to my spine. My hands shiver, my eyes fill tears, my mouth
shutters, throat congests, legs go weak and my soul go haywire. It feels some time that it is better to be
deaf than to hear that same spine-chilling noise that kills the soul. Every human
has that one trigger, for me it is that noise, that scream, that acoustic of
the devil. Every human has that fear of their
mirage from the past. Though it does
exist no more, the sediment of pain and suffering is still in the conscience
burning the soul slow and steady to ashes.
The fire sometimes stays dormant until that trigger kindles it to
burn. It will be ashes all over, it will
be scorching all over. Above the scorches
and ashes, it is that fear that was in slumber in brain wakes up and shows its
evil face.
It requires consoling. The soul, the
body, the mind and the subconsciousness need consoling, like a hug from a
mother to the crying child. The hug from
just anybody does not suffice, It should be from a human that really cares, a
mother or like a mother. The hug from
caring human sometimes doesn’t suffice. It should be from a soft and pure soul, may be a baby. The hug from that pure soul too sometime
would not console or put the fume out from the soul that started burning. The divine intervention, an invisible hand,
the hand from up above, the one we have not seen physically because He doesn’t have
one, the hand of the one we believe might put the flame off. The hands of the supreme being that we felt
when we were praying during the time the mirage was real, the devil was near,
the evil was sitting next to us and frightening. That same hands we felt, the same blissful hands
that I felt and to which I begged to save me, is all we want. The same hands are all I want now to hug me
and take me into His palms and console.
After all we are just humans that knows all are mirage, even the reality
is a real mirage but we stick to that image and gets scared. I am hailing that divine hand again.
