Adult

pic courtesy : www.deviantart.com

She is growing young again, tiny and childish laughing at all silly small things, smiling at every known face just like she did when she was a school girl. She has become like the one she was when she was in the borderline of the childhood and adolescence, but it was when she was growing up to watch her life and now she doesn’t want to see her life. How true it is that tears vents out all your sorrows because it is for us but the laughter hides all the pangs as it is for others. She was a pretty woman married to a handsome man. And unlike the society, her life was happy with good in-laws in place of her parents. The new relationship, a spouse, was happy with her internal and external beauty. She smiled as a grownup girl in her adulthood, her spouse smiled, and the family smiled and then God smiled - she had a baby boy.

The income was good and got better with the little lucky charm in her hand. She was glowing with the happiness of life with pride. More friends, elusive respect, and God thought what more can I offer her. She was a good home maker, making the home a good place to live. Everybody around her was good. The kid was growing up with the same effulgence as hers. The people are jealous of her life until the day the god who was covering her up from the reality missed the veil from his hands.

Her spouse lost money in millions into his virtual reality. He had shown a charming face in the palace as he was building a grave for her outside. There was another woman in his life, in fact in her life. Greed for more beauty and more life like her, he has gone for another knowing not she was just a mirage. He had a parallel life that which he thought was beautiful than the one he already has. In the trance of flesh he forgot that all that he saved was getting washed away in sewage. Until the day came for him to know he has lost all he had for his entire life. Now all he was left with him was his wife.

She learnt all that was happening to her but it was late as her son has grown up. All that she could do was to scream at the monster husband she loved but that scared her son. She cried all day and night. The money was scarce, the peace was lost, and above all the love has ditched her.

Without turning back at her life she started to work for money. The loans that she got for her husband, the love she showered for him all are due. It was once when his telephone rang and she picked up, a voice that of a witch asked her for her husband. Her broken heart shattered into pieces and when she was collecting her shattered pieces of heart her boy came running to her as his father was crying looking at him.

The next day she woke up, put her boy in the safe hands again, picked her bag, finished her chores, and picked herself with courage and came out of the house with the same smile that once she had in real, now as a veil, to walk to her office near by.

The Evening sky

 

Courtesy - nightskypix.com

…just like I write whatever I feel like writing because it is my space, I saw the twilight had scattered the clouds everywhere and painted the sky with all shades of orange.  The Master – Sun – is going down, and the Moon is already high in the sky.  The other side of the sky was plain with no clouds and with flock of same feathers flying high in the sky.  It all looked harmonious until my eyes reached the horizon where a tallest chimney is contaminating the lungs of our planet.  I was in my terrace. And when I walked to the edge of the terrace a crow flew over my head.  It did seem normal until he took a U turn and aimed its beak to my head.  The crow looked larger than usual; No, nothing paranormal or a crow from Mars. It was a usual crow which looked slightly obese. Then I grabbed a stick from the pile nearby, the crow then decided to scare me but abstained from attacking.  I moved a little away from the sight of the tree I was looking at and the crow stopped its flight.  I then realized he is trying to protect his newly build nest and the eggs in it.  It is better not to scare him, I decided, so I didn’t walk in to its territory which he was protecting.

Holding a new telescope in hand and with an imaginary picture of minute details of the moon in head I looked at the sky.  It took two minutes to find the moon in the sky.  The moon looked bigger but couldn’t see the picture that I had in my mind.  It was a crescent Moon; still I wanted to see the moon with the craters just like the one we see in NASA’s images.  I adjusted the lens, turned the screws and everything possible but nothing has showed me the images I had in my mind.  I am not satisfied with the big image my telescope showed me so I waited for a while for the dusk to take effect.  A star popped up and I tried focusing my telescope on it.  The star looked smaller than that what I saw with my naked eye so I zoomed to the maximum so that it will look like a glowing ball at least.  It didn’t; it all looked like a blurred image of torch light.  Is there something wrong with the telescope!! I sat for a while with frustration and suddenly a thought flashed in my brain – the star I focused is not exactly the star like the Sun we see but was just the light that was travelling for light years after light years to reach us.  The star I wanted to see might have moved from its place or could have died to a dwarf or even absorbed by a black hole.

 

I turned my focus to the moon again.  It was bright now but as usual nothing more than an enlarged image could I see.  This telescope didn’t show the image in my mind.

 

The Star, the Moon, the Telescope and I; you see, that is what is life is all about!!

Wings...

 

…how do I start when the journey is still on! Once upon a time I was born, like everyone.  What difference does it makes! I grew wings when I learnt to run.  The wings were soft and silky attached to my tough and tight skin.  And then I flew like no birds could have done.  I know, I am no bird, might be because of that the fly was euphoric.  I thought there was a sky which could be reached and touched so I left the ground and flew to the clouds.  The clouds were dense and blinding.  I was skeptical to pass through as the clouds might knock me down when it was moving fast in its phase. No, it didn’t but allowed me to enter into it.  I was thinking that I entered into the clouds but the clouds entered me and left me with no sign.  Feathers of my wings froze when a cloud passed me.  I moved up passing through the mist and found heaven.  The heaven as I was taught and made to conjure from the day I know the word God.  I was all milky white hiding anything below it.  It was the land of mist; clouds coalesced to form the ground of heaven that everyone was imagining.

 

It looked beautiful than every human thinks, but angels were missing and the Gods too.  At the end of the white land, in the west, there sat the god, the Sun.  He warmed my frozen feathers and charmed me with vital powers with his rays.  I have read about the yogis that eat nothing and drink nothing but lived only with the light of Sun.  I am no yogi and never wanted to be one but the rays of the Sun was such a calling, and soothing.

 

With all the vital powers and ecstasy in heart I wanted to touch the God.  I flew towards the Sun.  In few minutes it was all dark and cold.  The night that fell frightened me to show me the hell but then the breezy Moon rose lighting up the stars here and there.  The fear that engulfed vanished as there was no fear of death.  How could I die when there is nothing above and nothing below! How could I die when there is no one to kill me and no one to shrill me!

 

And I rose high and higher to the Moon and suddenly found the Sun beyond the shadow of the earth.  With no second thought I shuttered my wings towards Him, looking for warmth and to escape from the cold that night has imbibed.  The faster I moved the warmer it was and it became hot.  No matter what, I wanted to reach Him, I trusted my wings.  The nearer I was to Him scorching it became and I believed in not giving up thus I flew towards Him with no hesitation.

 

In no time my soft wings caught fire, I saw every feather of my wings burning and I was falling down from the never existing sky.  The fire scorched my skin and blood fluttered in the air and when all my feathers were burnt I saw my wings was full of blood, in every place of feathers blood filled it up and that was the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes.

 

An infinite time lapsed when I opened my eyes, it was hard to get up but I woke up.  I still had wings but now it was all dark red, it was not soft that gave me vanity but strong and rigid like iron that gave me strength.  I tried to move my wings to fly; it was heavy weighing many times of my body and brain.  I rose to the sky with all will I had.  I saw a bird, a vulture, stronger than me in looks in the sky flying towards me.  when it neared me I hid myself in my wings in fear and when I open my wings again I saw the vulture bleeding and falling down with pain.  I remembered, my wings are no longer soft but strong and sharp hardened with my blood.

In the tide of life

In the tide of life;

A mild needle enters slowly,
In the middle of heart newly.

The heart that suffered loss,
Connected to the eyes that lost focus.

It’s fight between the God and Mind,
And the plan, where do we find?

The blade of guilt tears the heart apart,
Souls brake and go with souls that depart.

In the storm of death it rains in the eyes,
In the tide of life it’s all god’s lies!

Insane Me!

pic crtsy : https://weheartit.com/entry/281134041

When there are thousand things to do, I chose to write and

When there are thousand things to deal with I deal with my pen.

In the race of impressing others,

I impress on my notebook.

In the world of sugar-coated poison,

I show is scorched love.

Though I know I could shatter this world into bits and pieces,

I pray for gits and peace!

In the world full of scorns and hurts,

I eschew blades and guns.

When many here are searching for plots to buy,

I am here sitting and searching for plots to write.

When everybody raises their voice in anger,

I go silent when I lose my patience.

When everybody thinks they have discovered this world,

I wonder where it was before they discover!

While many around thinks everybody around were fools and nomads,

Here I am baffled why I am so dumb and stupid!

God save you all!!

Not for Mortals

Image courtesy: thegraphicsfairy.com

It’s just that first word takes time and rest of it were tied to the one another; flows like the rain from the cloud burst. Are there many more like me, insane and stupid to think the world we see is just the shadow and the real world is filled with fairies and angels? The utopia is the real world where people don't care about Gods and Goddesses but godliness.  In the place where people sell their flesh and eat others flesh for money, am I the only one see this as a mirage of hell which will soon disappear?

I heard people say that there is a life after death.  Am I the only one who realized there is no death for life, only when death knocks the real doors of life opens? In colors of lights and we were blinded to see the colors of rainbow. Oh no wait, it hurts to talk too much about the truth of this life.  To think about the right words and rethink about the grammar of writing the heart out actually brings head ache; that is why it is all about giving once self to the writing and allow the words to come and vent through the fingers.

It is fascinating to write about the guardian angels that fly over our shoulders and whisper secrets or what we call intuition.  It is sad that we thinking it as fantasy and still those fairies fly over our shoulders and protecting us. I heard many times those fairies say not to trust, not to be silent, not to waste energy. I have heeded not until those guardian angels lost patience to camouflage themselves as human and shout at my ears with a slap on my cheeks to wake up from the spell of the monsters.  I know not every time they do it but sometimes they pity us too much.  There are some that we hire from our mothers that pampers us like a just born and sad that we don't listen to them like a stillborn.

Stabbed

…it was not a dagger, not a sword, not a sharp knife but a sharp little needle. I named that needle as memory and attached it to my chest.  When I close my eyes, when the memories flood and the past burns the brain, the needle takes its toll.  It enters through the chest slowly and touches the heart.  It was not painful when the needle touched the wall of the beating heart.  It slowly breached the hearts’ wall and entered in slowly causing the whole body to shiver and the heart to twitch like an organ cut off from the body. Every twitch the image flashed before me and the pain killed me like the acid entering my blood vessels.  What wrong did I do other than believing in unconditional love! When I was pouring all the best things I have I thought I was pouring into the pond of elixir but the time has proved me that I was pouring into abyss.

Foolishly, I believed that the world works by the laws of love but then the love showed me that the world revolves around money.  There are thousand ways to teach me the reality but life has chosen love to teach me the brutality of this world.  I waved my future with the string of compassion, tied my dreams with the flowers of trust but when the string started cutting my hand and the flowers poisoned my blood, I realized even the courtesy needs to be bought with money in this world.  In the distant land I saw a pool of water when I was dying in thirst; I was running for a long time without noticing the blood oozing out from my legs that has forgot the thorns and stones in the path. One point of time I was tired loosing all the blood, I turned to see the path I was running; it was all blood stained.  I still tried hard to run in the trust that I will get to drink the distant water but only when the sun started to set I realized I was running only towards a mirage.

I felt ashamed of running like an insane towards something that doesn’t even exist, a fake form of happiness.  Do I have to blame the mirage that made me shed blood! No, it was my fault not to realize the reality in the half way, my fault to fall in love with the fake water.  It was not just the legs that was bleeding but my entire body.  I could feel the pain in every cell of my body, my sun scorched skin turned red as blood was oozing out of every pore of the skin.  As the sun rested and the moon rise it started raining.  Dear God, you have thought the rain could wash away all the blood stain in the path or from by body!  Every drop of rain burned my bleeding skin like an acid drops from the sky.

With the bleeding in the soul and needle stuck heart it feels like the moment I pluck the needle out I will die.