Techno-Romance

 

…I start with dots because I do not know where to start and you see only one dot is a stop, add two more to it and it becomes continuation. It is the continuation from somewhere I left or continuation from what my mind is chewing at the moment.  With every day I grow old I feel like I’m an alien in this faster world.  My childhood and adolescent were termed as fast world when the technology started sneaking in every middle-class houses.  The satellite television channels which peeped in for limited hours and later become all time and the thirty minutes news in those channels then become a separate news channel and then now a nightmare with 24x7 flash news, landline phones which got converted to wireless landline phones and later to mobile gigantic phones and then into smaller handsets and now again become gigantic mini television in hands, and the music that were more softer which was a continuation or with the trace of the earlier generation with respect to the language, words and meanings which now become only noise with all dramatic technological tools (musical instruments), of course the movies which were full of songs in the golden days then become partially songs with less violence and more story which become only acoustics of whatever it is.

The televisions, the white lights, the mobile phones all emit the same level of Hz, the frequency, that damages the human body which sometimes makes me think that everything is designed, in the name of technology or luxury, to cause damage to the human existence!!!

Given the life to the tools and technologies what I miss the most is the different types of romance that blooms at different stages of life.  Times when letters were exchanged which then become emails. The telephone booths then become mobile phones then into texting and now into WhatsApp.  So easy to talk and chat nowadays but imagine the days of letters and strict parenting the meeting will be coincident and chatting will be only between the eyes which then become little easier with the landline phones in my adolescence though the strict parenting and location to meet with those eagle eyes that was ready to spoil the names, especially the girls made life tougher.  Said all those stuffs the time taken to talk one word to each other took years and with the urge to be together for years built a bond that continued life-long if it was a successful love story, even if it is not the story stays in the heart.  The train love stories, bus love stories, street love stories, and letter love stories were longer and sweeter stories than the WhatsApp and Facebook stories.  Isn’t it!!!

What is missing these days is that urge that brings hearts together as everything is faster and communication is fastest.  And of course, the western culture that made Indians believe that meeting and chanting and dating at ease is part of our culture too when westerners are taking their direction to East for peace and salvation from what their culture had given them!  When you walk the hard path towards your destination, the journey becomes as precious as the destination.  That experience is spoiled when everything is made easier.

                                                                                                        [SK]

if you’re reading

 

…if you’re reading, my love

I want you to let you know that you’re reading my mind.

…if you’re still reading; 

You’re my words that I write and

The meaning between the lines that I hide.

You’re the warmth in the crowd in my winter below the sky,

Don’t stop here for  neither I  nor my words could fly.

Sometimes you’re that favorite song on the pathway that I long forgot,

And many a time, you were that last drop left in the water bottle

That wets my throat when the environment scorches.

Read on… 

When it rains heavily and the road was not clear,

Your memories were the wipers of my car’s windshield!

Many broken promises that I made let to not one good day, so

I forgive all who break the promises in attempt to break me.

Few more lines please…

I could write the memoires of your fragrance, your image,

the caress, touch, hand-in-hand walk in the rain under the umbrella, but

that drop of tear at the edge of my eyes in the night can do it better !!!

                                                                                                                       [SK]

The Search…

 

If you’re searching for Him, the omnipresent, the omnipotent,

The first question is to ask why you’re searching and

What are you going do when you find Him? That answer is the beginning

of the journey that takes longer than ever imagined or

Shorter that ever achieved; intensity decides the speed!

The external search – the idols, the temples, the venerated,

The Gurus and the Cults, different processes are important, so

you turn inside to you and begin the search again, listen

To the voice of the inner ‘You’ and identify the medium

is not external but you and the way is not on the earth but

inside you, the destination is not in the sky but within self!

At the end, which is a new beginning, you will understand

The omnipresent creates the omnipotent in one cycle and

The omnipotent creates the omnipresent in another.  The two are

the same and also different.  The duality is His nature and

Nature is His twin.  But to know the truth that the tressure is

In your own home, below your feet, you need to stroll

All paths, all roads that never was taken, all lanes

that were never been explored.  When your foot aches,

When you could take not one more step, then He appears.

He appears not in any physical form, not in any physical or

Astral plane but within you.  The light comes to enlighten you!

You’re what you are searching for!  Thathwamasi!!!

Swamiyee Saranam – 7

 

Swamiyee Saranam Ayyappa!   This six weeks with His blessings passed like 6 hours.  Every Saturday we used to have a congregation of devotees, a group prayer where we sing together and pray together.  This week was the last week of such prayer meeting and I am going to miss this till next year. I have gathered many friends who had experienced the blessing and miracles of Sri Dharma Sastha Ayyappan, especially this one guy who had an amazing voice and extreme devotion; he named his son ‘Sabari’ as he was born with the Sabri Mala Sri Dharma Sastha’s blessing.

*

                It was a fine breeze chilling evening; it was not drizzling but the air was wet and minuscule droplets of water kept wetting the air, hair and skin.  The feel was good but the path become uncomfortable for the walk.  To walk without foot wares on the muddy wet road that was half trodden by the previous rains exacerbated the stroll.  More than anything I wanted to walk so that my legs get used for walk in bare foot.  The fear of treading on the mountains that too for a prolonged distance keeps me walking; hopefully practice make me perfect.

                This day, I’m not on the mountains but the road is worse than the rain trodden mountain slope.   My foot got used to smaller stones but here and there some big guys protrude and give tough time for the walk. The evening was perfect and divine and it was a faster walking practice to reach the near by Swami Ayyappan temple for the bigger Sabari mala Sri Sastha Swami Ayyappan temple.  The temple was crowded waiting for ‘Abhishekam’.  A small girl, should be in her six or seven years was in black carrying the ‘Thulasi’ malai and additional malai and an old man who should be in his eighties held her hand stepped inside the temple.  His age made the steps tough but with help he claimed in.  Looked like he is old Guru Swami.  After praying he dropped the mala in her neck with the sarana gosham ‘Swamiyeeee… Saranam Ayyapaa’ this is usual but what made me stun is the next thing he did.  Slowly he bent down to her feet and asked for the little girl’s blessings.  He wasn’t able to walk, claim the steps, couldn’t stand continuously for few mins and above all he is a revered Guru Swami and still he asked for the blessings from a little girl!  May be that is what Sri Dharma Sastha had imbibed in him, the real result of taking this pilgrimage to Sabari Mala for decades together.

                When I started this austerity there was a little pride that I am doing this but slowly and slowly that vanished.  This process made me think about my past life when I was a fool, when I was cruel, when I was honest but couldn’t withhold, when the mind was like a monkey jumping from one thing to the other, my laziness and my prides – thousand things to change. And it took forty-five days of continuous worship, which is the first time in my life, to understand the first step of worship and the meaning of divineness.  That broke all the pride about the knowledge I have gathered about the spirituality, processes, and different paths; I realized all that gathered were just written and spoken words and not the real experience. 

                After all these days when I looked at the statue of Sri Dharma Sastha Ayyappan, I felt he had something to say to me and I don’t know how many more years it will take to hear what he wanted to say and how many more years to understand his words! I pray for perseverance and for His blessings that one day His words will reach my ears and He take abode in my heart permanently!

I pray for the good health, wealth and prosperity for all in this global village.   May He, Sri Dharma Sastha Ayyappa Swami, be with everyone and bless with a prosperous life.

 

Swamiyee Saranam Ayyappa!!

The Real Penance!

 

The real penance is to put the rage out in the resentment! But,

the dogma is not to control the antipathy, it is empathy.

The road is tranquil when you walk with no sympathy or mercy,

the road is serene if the path is one full rock, or a bed of thorn,

it is vile when there are few rocks and thorns here and there!

When you are tenacious the rocks and thorns get sharpened

to check your capability to exacerbate or ameliorate. 

It is time to understand that animosity and empathy are juxtapositions,

and at the same time, it is wise to forgive the incubi, but

to forget the diablaria that it casted will make you only a jester!

After saying all the above the mind rested in tranquil, but

the resentment can never be resolved for the root is deep,

it is just human thing that divine cannot ameliorate but

becoming that divine itself alone can!  Thatwamasi!!!

Swamiyee Saranam – 6

 

Swamiyee Saranam Ayyappa!

                Magically 5 weeks passed with ups and downs in thoughts, tests passed, test failed, tests not taken but I still persevered.  Learnings are unlimited everywhere only when you humble yourself and listen and act without ego, all those learnings will reach you – that was the take away for the week.  Being said all about learnings and humility your own mind and brain tests you, shakes your belief and ask you what you believe you is correct or are you in the right path or why are you doing this, so on and so forth.  That is actually a test to check your perseverance.  That is the time when you have to shun yourself from unwanted opinions and keep your ears open and the message will be delivered.

                Who is Swami Ayyappan was discussed all over internet, different flavors of stories and conspiracy.  Should only men go to Sabari mala?  Is the forty-eight days of penance is required to take the pilgrimage? All these questions and different flavors of answers reached you because you have opened up for doubt so negativity follows.  I was sitting outside a temple and from up above a message was delivered – from the speaker over my head in the temple; “you have your own favorite God and religion that doesn’t means other forms are to be not respected.  What has to be understood is that all the other forms of the God you see is your same favorite form of the divinity in a different manifestation form”

                And of course, tell hundred stories of my Swami Ayyappan, ask thousand questions about the austerity but the divine energy is unbridled and above all our understanding.  This divine energy wants us to be humble, simple, truthful, human, generous, compassionate, empathetical at least in these 48 days of austerity and try to live a life of a yogi at least in these days and then start your pilgrimage.  My Guru Swami is younger than me but he knows Swami Ayyappan better, he knows this devotion better, he loves my Swami better than me and most of all my Swami Ayyappan loves him more than he loves Him.  So, being old doesn’t means you are better and younger doesn’t means you cannot be a Guru! And why my Swami loves him more is because whenever I call him Guru Swami, he always says Swami Ayyappan is the only Guru!

                Last year, when it was my first year, I realized that everybody around us considers the first-year devotee very special in fact treats him as the Ayyappan itself which made me humble than the humble me!  And I realized I was not that humble as I was thinking as I was is when two of the old devotees, Guru Swamis prostrated to me back when I touched their feet for blessings!  That is what my Swami Ayyappan had made them – as Ayyappan itself.   That is what is important than the research of who He is or what He is.  Thathwamasi!

Swamiyee Saranam Ayyappa!

Swamiyee Saranam - 5

Swamiyee Saranam Ayyappa!  

It has been almost a month since I started this discipline or austerity or penance or any other word suitable but that it is, a month.  What did I learnt from this period which I half crossed? Retrospection might give some answers but before going into the learning there are more realizations.  You cannot stop your thoughts especially the bad one, the revenge, the anger, the betrayals, the bad deeds that you did and the bad deeds that others did to you keep coming to your mind to derail you from the austerity.  Above all the dogma of this austerity is controlling anger and celibacy.  Forget about celibacy, I am following that even before this wearing mala as I am a loner, but to control anger, initially, I thought was easy and for almost 20 days it was like a cake walk but after which I started loosing control over emotions as anger peeps sometimes in the office, in the road, in the travel; good that the sagely attire and mala that I wear reminds that I should not show anger and should not hurt anybody.  But wait, it is not should-not-show-anger but the dogma is to not-become-anger – tough job!

Being said all about the out of control of the emotions there will always be divine help that keeps you protected sometimes on His own and sometimes you have to call for help but the call will never go unanswered. 

Once in the Chennai Metro train, I was sitting in a corner and doing nothing.  A young unmarried couple stood close next to each other near me.  I understood that they were in the trance of love and attraction – no disrespect - but they forgot the world around them especially the me who was sitting near without shoes or slippers in the feet. As the train moved station by station the crowd increased and the couple started stamping my legs.  No anger, I remembered, though there is enough space for them to manage to not to kick my legs.  I closed my eyes and called for help as it is considered the divine it self stays in your body, in the mala in this period of 48 days, I prayed He should be with me all throughout my life. 

From nowhere a big healthy guy came and asked the man of the couple about his Bluetooth headsets he had in his ears.  He started asking about its cost, manufacture, design, model and product comparison.  In the meanwhile, he pushed the girl behind and stood in between them and slowly she went back in the crowd a decent distance from the boy and me.  the new big guy continued asking questions about his carrier, job, father, mother and family.  I though he was known to that boy so that she went back.  After few stations the savior got down and the seats become empty so that the couple go seat next to me.  The girl asked that if he know that big guy already and the body said no!!!

 

Small or big, ask and the help will come. Thatwamasi!!!

 

Swamiyee Saranam Ayyappa!